“I knowI’ve done a lot to deserve your hate,” I start, and I’m grateful that my voice sounds more confident than I feel. Though I’m trembling with the knowledge that my very fate and the fate of my child rests on what I have to say now, I know blubbering won’t help, so I have to keep it together. “I was… jealous of you, of the attention you received when I was promised to Dean. And I know it’s no excuse, but I held the weight of my family’s expectations on my shoulders.”
Athena scoffs, shaking her head, her lips pulling into a sneer that says she knew it, I haven’t changed. Dean shifts beside her, his arms crossing and one perfectly shaped eyebrow raising in a skeptical display. Cayde and Jaxon remain still, allowing Athena her own reaction while shadowing her, as if I might jump across the room and attack her at a moment’s notice.
“I’m not saying that’s a good reason for how I treated you,” I clarify. “I’m saying that I see it now. I see the full picture and why I treated you the way I did. I was so lost inside my own world, thinking about my father’s expectations, the life I was intended to lead, that I didn’t consider you a person. I thought of you as an obstacle. Nothing more.”
I swallow hard, trying to bring moisture to my suddenly dry mouth. “A lot has happened since Halloween, since Gabriel saved me. I lost my memory for a while and had the opportunity to live a different kind of life, to see what it would be like as a… normal person.” Though I’m not sure normal is entirely fitting to describe Gabriel’s way of life, it’s the closest I’m going to get without getting into details I’m sure Athena doesn’t care to hear. “When I regained my memories, I was overcome with anger over everything that had happened. I held you responsible for my family’s death, for me losing everything. That’s why I was seeking revenge.”
I can tell by Athena’s cold glare that none of what I’ve been through is moving her; none of my reasoning will sway her. She considers my acts unforgivable, even though most of what she’s holding me accountable for—aside from the post-ritual revenge stuff, which wasn’t really that bad—was my father’s doing, even the fathers of the boys standing around her.
Yes, I was a bitch. I’ll fully admit to wanting to make Athena’s life a living hell after she became the Blackmoor pet and completely disrupted my world order. But she’s not entirely innocent in this whole situation either. She’s done a lot of damage since taking over Blackmoor with her men. And she may want to hate me for being a part of her pain, but she doesn’t even consider the pain she’s caused. The innocent women and children who have suffered becauseshe’skilled someone too. Frankly, she did it in a more direct way than I ever have.
But saying that won’t help me now. I need to find common ground, to acknowledge my part in all of this if I’m going to save my baby’s life. “I’m sorry for everything I did. I’m sorry for the pain I caused you, for taking my anger out on you.” Looking her dead in the eye, I tell Athena with as much sincerity as I can muster, “I really am trying to change.”
Athena snorts derisively. “The things you’ve done for revenge would say you haven’t changed at all.” She crosses her arms over her chest, disbelief playing over her face in a snide expression. Not that I can necessarily blame her. I’ve never given her any reason to trust me.
“No, but something else has changed, and it’s been making me think very differently about things lately.” I glance subtly at Gabriel, trying to draw strength from him. The look of ferocious loyalty he gives me, emboldens me, filling me with a kind of bravery I never knew possible.
“What could that possibly be?” Athena asks sarcastically, drawing my attention to her once more.
Steeling myself, I draw my shoulders back, rising up to my full height. “I’m pregnant,” I say. It feels so strange to be informing my rival of something so intimate, something so new. But I don’t know another way of making Athena see.
Four pairs of eyes stare back at me in utter shock and confusion as the room remains silent for a long moment. Only Jaxon is prepared for that piece of knowledge, and still, his expression is conflicted. Perhaps with doubt or maybe concern. I don’t know, and I don’t particularly care. All that matters is that Athena believes me and finds it in her heart to let my baby live.
Into the utter stillness of the room, Athena releases a burst of laughter. “By whom? Are you going to claim it’s Dean’s or some shit?” she sneers. “Because that’s not going to work. We know he’s never touched you with a ten-foot pole. Just the thought of fucking you made it impossible for him to get hard.”
At one point in time, that kind of remark would have infuriated me. The admission of that truth would have stung deep, knowing he didn’t find me, his bride, desirable. But right now, all I can think about is keeping my baby safe, of protecting the man standing fiercely beside me, the man who does love me, who can’t get enough of me.
“No. It’s Gabriel’s,” I say, and my chest fills with unexpected pride at the knowledge that I’m carrying his child. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Compared to the horribly stiff, cold, and impersonal life I would have endured as Dean’s wife, my life with Gabriel is full of passion, spontaneity, and excitement. I’m fully able to feel and express my emotions rather than bottling them up, trapping them behind a formal mask of propriety.
For an instant, my eyes meet Gabriel’s icy-blue ones once more, and the tenderness within their depths melts my heart. Just saying the baby is his sends a shiver of desire through my core, and I give him a soft smile. He’s mine, and I’m his, and we have the marks to prove it.
“I want to start a new life,” I say, my voice holding more conviction now as I turn back to Athena again. “Something different from who I was before. I don’t need to be some kind of princess of Blackmoor. Hell, I don’t even want that corruptive kind of power. I just want to live a normal life and raise a family. And if you still want me dead, just know I’m not going to go quietly. I thought I had something to fight for back when we were going head to head over Dean and the Blackmoor title, but now I really do. I will do anything to protect my child.”
I press one hand to my abdomen, feeling that special spot where the doctor identified our baby only a few hours ago. Drawing strength from the knowledge that my child is innocent and perfect and needs me to protect it with all I have, I brace for whatever will come next.
Then I step closer to Gabriel, sliding my hand into his large, strong, calloused one. His squeeze of reassurance makes my heart swell with love for him. Through all of this, through my highs and lows, through all my crazy and my continuous resistance, Gabe has been there, a constant, stable rock to steady me and support me. I don’t know what I would do without him.
Athena studies me with new eyes, her sharp blue gaze examining the details of my expression. Rather than the blatant hatred she’d shown just moments before, she looks surprisingly thoughtful. The Blackmoor boys remain silent around her, their eyes turned her way as if some unspoken truth draws them to her. They’re such an odd, contrasting bunch. Jaxon, with his rebellious biker look, is closest to Athena’s match. Dean, with his perfectly styled black hair and tailored suit, looks so proper in the situation. And Cayde, in his basketball shorts and muscle shirt, blond hair cut like a frat boy’s, is too much of a jock. Still, they seem to have some unspoken bond that ties them together. The power in their combined gaze makes me shiver, and I realize for the first time that I wouldn’t want what Athena has.
I’ve experienced having the attention of three men on me at once, and while exhilarating, what I have with Gabriel is different, special. His more possessive love for me tames me at the same time as it brings me to life. Being the object of three men’s affection would leave me lost. Having to please them all constantly would be both overwhelming and frustrating. I need to know one man loves me so much he couldn’t bear the thought of another touching me. Seeing Gabriel’s face that day after he fought his three friends to prove I’m his alone, recognizing the bruises and beating he took so he wouldn’t have to share me, that’s what I need.
I don’t know how I ever thought I wanted any of these Blackmoor men, let alone wanted to take Athena’s place and claim all three of them. My life with Gabriel is so much more right. And somehow, the lack of riches, the simple pleasures make each moment that much more poignant, that much more special.
The silence in the room seems to drag on indefinitely as the three Blackmoor heirs watch Athena with rapt attention and her eyes remain trained on me. Even Athena’s friend, Mia, sits motionless in the corner, a statue only there to witness my impromptu trial.
“I can understand your desire to protect your baby,” Athena says finally. “Wanting to start a new life and raise your child in peace. After all, I’m pregnant too.” Her lips curl into a small smile as she tells me her own secret.
My head reels at this revelation, and for the first time, a spark of hope ignites in my chest. If she can understand my plea and knows what it feels like to want to protect the life inside her, then my baby and I might just have a chance. Maybe we can actually work this out, set aside our differences, and live peacefully in Blackmoor together. Of course, I’m sure our children would never play together or anything like that. I suppress a snort at the thought of Athena and me coordinating a playdate. But our lives are separate enough that we wouldn’t have to cross paths hardly at all. We could make it work.
“I’m not a cruel bitch, you know. I’m not going to order a pregnant woman’s death, or any woman’s death, for that matter, least of all an unborn child’s. But you have to leave Blackmoor. I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you, and I won’t risk having you around. You’ve proven time and again that you’re a different kind of crazy, that your need for revenge can supersede your ability to reason logically. And I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life, waiting for the next time you decide to snap and light my house on fire.”
Cayde St. Vincent chuckles darkly at that, and I do my best to restrain my temper. Blowing my lid at Athena and telling her she’s a pretty special brand of crazy herself won’t help matters. Right now, I’m trying to keep myself alive, not dig my own grave.
But of a more concerning matter is Athena exiling us from Blackmoor. Gabriel works for the Devil’s Sons. His place is here. His family is here. Our only source of income is here. We can’t just uproot our lives and find a new town to live in when we have no savings to buy a place, no work prospects, and no way to support our child.
“No, please, you can’t make us leave—” I start to beg, searching my mind desperately for a reason she should let us stay.
“That’s fine,” Gabriel interjects, and I turn to him, stunned that he would be so at ease with the prospect. He lifts our clasped hands to his lips and brushes a kiss across my knuckles, then gives me a reassuring nod. “We can make it work.”