“No, I haven’t talked to her today. I haven’t even seen her. Why? Is she missing?” Starla asks, her tone tinged with concern.
An intense sense of urgency overtakes me as I glance around to think of who else I could ask. I spot Debbie watching me behind the bar and head straight to her. Maybe Winter had some breakfast and said where she was going.
I ask Debbie, trying to keep my tone neutral but failing miserably.
“Winter? No, she hasn’t come into the clubhouse all morning,” Debbie says as she dries a glass.
I growl in frustration, my nerves making me impatient.Where the hell is she?Then a sickening thought hits me, and I swallow hard to fight down the sudden nausea.
“Debbie, where’s the nearest clinic?” I ask.
“Clinic?” Debbie raises her eyebrows as if unsure what I’m asking.
“You know, that a woman could go to if she wanted to… terminate a pregnancy.” I don’t know how else to put it, and from the way her eyes narrow, I suspect she’s quickly come to the conclusion that Winter’s the one I’m asking for.
As the minute's tick by, I feel more and more confident that Winter went to one.Why else would she try to dispose of the pregnancy tests somewhere she wouldn’t think I would find them? And why else would she not tell me about it?
My stomach twists painfully at the knowledge that she didn’t even want to discuss it. She doesn’t even care how I feel about having a child.Yes, it might be her body, but shouldn’t I get at least a small say in the matter?She might not want the baby, but what if I do?And I do. I know it without a doubt. As terrifying as the prospect of being a father might be, I miss being part of a family, one that’s not contingent on being a member of the club. And this could be our opportunity to start a family of our own.
Peering intently at Debbie, I wait impatiently for my answer. She seems to be considering my question.
“Well, there is one in town, off Hanover Street, but….”
She pauses, and I have to clench my hands into fists to not grab her by her shirt and shake the rest of her answer from her.
“But what?” I demand through my teeth.
“If you’re looking for one of those free clinics, one where fewer people would recognize you, they have one just one town over in Perola Springs. Pretty sure it’s called the Safe Clinic. Maybe a few blocks west of the main street right when you head into town. It’s where a few of the girls have gone over the years—hey, where are you going?” she calls after me as I stride toward the door.
“Thanks, Debbie.” I give her a wave of appreciation over my shoulder without looking as I storm toward my bike.
It’s already starting to get dark, and I find myself furious with Winter as I wonder how she planned to get there and back. I hope to God she didn’t walk. It’s far too cold and much too far. Then again, I have no idea when she left for the clinic.But what would her plan be to get home? Wouldn’t she be in far too much pain to walk back?Not that I have any firsthand knowledge of abortions, but I’m under the impression that they’re pretty traumatizing for the body, and some women have adverse side effects.What if she passes out on the side of the road?
I don’t even want to think like that. I can’t be too late to stop her. It would kill me. I don’t bother putting on my helmet before I start my bike and race onto the road heading out of town. The air is frigid as it whips my hair into a frenzy. Still, it’s not enough to cool my temper as I race to save my baby’s life and stop Winter from doing something she might regret.
11
Winter
“Jane?”A different nurse with dark hair pulled up into a tight bun stands in the doorway to the back, and when I rise, she gives me a curt nod. “We’re ready for you.” She’s more businesslike than the last girl, and it sets my anxiety into a spiral.
My nerves turn my legs to jelly as I rise and swallow hard, trying to bring some moisture to my mouth. I know this is the right thing to do. I can’t have a baby, and I have no doubts that Gabe would agree. Neither of us has a lifestyle suited to raising a child. Still, I have to fight the wave of remorse that threatens to strangle me. Forcing a smile onto my face, I take a deep breath and move tentatively forward to follow her back.
She holds the door wide for me, and I steel my resolve, fighting my nausea as I pick up my pace and step up beside her.
That’s when the door slams open with such force it rips the bell right off the frame. I startle, all my muscles tensing as my shoulders jump up toward my ears. Spinning to see who flung the door open with such force, I freeze. My heart slams against my ribs as I take in Gabriel’s thunderous expression. His ice-blue eyes blaze with a kind of pained intensity I’ve never seen before, and it sends a shiver down my spine. Guilt turns my stomach as I realize I’ve been caught.Did he follow me here? But if so, then why is he only coming in now?No, he must have found out another way.But how?
I can feel the emotion rolling from him, filling the room until the nurse beside me shifts uncomfortably. Gabe’s muscles are coiled as if he’s ready to pounce, and he covers the ground between me and the door in three long strides.
“Gabe,” I gasp, the blood draining from my face as he towers over me. “What are you doing here?”
“I think that’s a better question for you,” he growls, his deep voice making my chest quiver. Snatching my upper arm in a painful grip, Gabe yanks me toward him. “Come on. We’re leaving.”
“Wait, Gabe, stop!” I cry, trying to pull my arm from his grasp as tears sting my eyes.
But he doesn’t pause. Instead, he hauls me roughly toward the door.
“Sir, you can’t do that!” the nurse shouts, striding forward to lend me some support. She positions her body to block his path but keeps her distance. “You have no right to touch her that way. You can’t tell her what she can or can’t do with her body.”