Valentina
Dinner drags on and, after we break, I’m allowed to walk down by the water’s edge. By the light of the moon, I pull on my jacket closer against the wind as two men escort me, scanning the horizon for intruders.
I think it’s ridiculous. We haven’t had an issue in years and there is nothing to gain by taking me hostage. My father has always made it clear that he does not negotiate with kidnappers. And if they come for us, he’ll make it worse for them, that doesn’t need to be said.
The path from the house dead ends at the beach, so my kidnappers better have a boat, a very fast boat. Not only do we have our own speedboats, but we also have a high wall to prevent unwanted entry and tons of cameras watching every inch of the property. I’m told there are 101 cameras in all, enough to make me feel like I’m being watched like a prisoner.
Why would anyone want to date me, let alone marry me? I’m an average woman. I don’t turn heads when I walk in the room like Laura or Priyanka. Laura has freedom to marry for love. Pry is changing the world. They aren’t bound by the same rules that are imposed on me. Nonetheless, I’d love to have a man that’s mine out of choice, someone I can build a life with, and maybe I can make a contribution to the world. I’ll find a way to use my degree as well as my mind.
I want to experience the courtship and romance that leads to love. I want to get lost in it, but that won’t happen. Especially if Papa arranges a marriage for me. Thank god Federico doesn’t have a son as it would have been a fitting match.
The underboss, Federico Gambino, is like an uncle to me. He’s one of papa’s longest supporters. His grown daughter is a piece of work which makes me wonder about him. Last year his daughter, Ignazio, resurfaced out of nowhere. I don’t trust her.
I wonder if Papa realizes she’s trouble. She’s a lot older than me, so we never hang out when she comes around. Mama remembers her as an overly spoiled child who always got her way. Then, in her early adult years, she abruptly went abroad with no explanation. Just disappeared. Everyone stopped asking about her. Supposedly she slipped in and out of Sicily from time to time, but it was all hush-hush.
Ignazio is hiding something, even our dog, Bianca, growls when she walks in the room. Like they say, animals know people.
Italian women have their superstitions. No one is into this more than than Nonna, my grandmother, who lives with us as well. She’s in her eighties and spends most of her time watching TV in her room. She’s hard of hearing and refuses to wear her hearing aids, so I have to repeat everything I say, but I love her. How she put up with my dad for so many years is the question of the millennia.
Crushing on the guys in the popular boy bands is the closest I can get to a boyfriend nowadays. My last boyfriend was when I attended Oxford for a degree in psychology. My boy band posters are a reminder of my youth and I leave the posters on my bedroom walls to piss off Papa.
He hates everything about American culture. My teenage years spent at an exclusive boarding school in Switzerland were sublime. And in a way, sending me away backfired on Papa as I resented coming home.
It didn’t take long for me to understand that boarding school and college were a cost-effective method to keeping me safe. I was away, I stayed off social media and for a time, my life wasn’t all about being the little principessa.
My brother Giovi went to summer camps near home. He will fill Papa’s shoes, not me. Italy is still very much a man’s world and it’s as frustrating as my non-existent sex life.
Papa likes everyone to keep a low profile, but Giovi is allowed to have all the women he wants and hangs out with the boss’s sons until after the bars close. There isn’t much to do in Sicily besides shopping, tourism, fishing, and thieving.
We used to bring in fish to export, like tuna and anchovies. Over the years our boats became outdated, and one has to go out further to where the fish live, but our small boats aren’t equipped for that, therefore, Italy can’t sustain local demands. With all the hills and Mount Etna, this is still a beautiful place. Nothing can take away from the beauty of the sea and the picturesque sunsets that the tourists take pictures of annually.
After a refreshingbut windy walk on the beach, I return home where I change into my favorite pajamas and video call Laura.
“Laura, what are you doing?”
Her face is covered in something green when she answers, and her hair is wrapped in a towel.
“It’s a new mask with mud, it’s the best thing for my skin, you should try it.”
“No thanks,” I dismiss that idea as I can see it cracking on her face. “You need to wash it off now.”
“Two more minutes, what’s up?”
The woman takes her skin care seriously. She’s engaged and has nothing to worry about.
“I’m bored.”
“See, I told you all those fancy degrees you have are useless. You could have gone clubbing with me when I was single had you spent more time here,” she teases.
“Tell me about it.” I sigh in agreement.
“Well, I’m going out with Marco tonight for the opening of a new movie.” Her wicked grin tells me it involves sex.
She’s lucky, her intended has his own apartment. She’s in love with the man she’s marrying.
Not like I can date a man in public. No one can know much about me. There is no social media and no routines that can’t be moved around in an unpredictable manner.
It’s times like this I’m happy for the year I had with Rudy in Switzerland or else I’d still be a virgin. Imagine how hard it is to go without physical attention from a man. I’m dying on a vine, my youth is slipping away and yet, I don’t know what’s worse– being alone or married to someone I might despise. Either side of the coin is enough to drive me mad.