I plucked the bottle from her fingertips and replaced it with my firm grasp. “You’re not broken, Hells. Just a little roughed up around the edges.”
That got a little snort. “Just a little.”
“But you’re going to get through this. You’ve been through situations that others wouldn’t have coped with and always found a way out. The Hallie I know—the fierce Sergeant van Staden—could take down a six-foot-six man with such savagery that it left a reputation that preceded you. And you’re just as strong mentally.”
“Now I know you’re lying—about my reputation, I mean.”
I raised my eyebrows and my hands, laughing despite the heavy situation. “I shit you not, babe. You left one helluva lasting impression. And not just at the unit or across the service; everywhere you go and everyone you meet; you make lives just that little bit better than what they were before you came into theirs.
“Yes, the mission deviated from the plan. Yes, shit happened that will forever change a tiny part of you. But the light you bring to the world supersedes all that a thousand times over. And you know how I know that will never change? Because you constantly give a hundred and ten fucking percent of yourself regardless of if you’ve been asked to or not. And I admire the fuck out of you for that.”
Tears pricked at the inner corners of her hazel eyes and spread along her lower lashes. “I feel like I left too much of me in Mexico and now there’s nothing left.”
I took her face in my hands and moved closer on the bed. “There’s always something left, Hells. And from where I’m sitting, there’s everything.”
Her face crumbled and she let her tears fall. While kissing her forehead and letting my lips linger across her clammy skin, I waited until she found a large, steadying inhale, then rose to my feet.
“Come into the shower, babe. It’ll make you feel infinitely better.”
She set her hand in my offered one and let me lead her to the bathroom. After turning on the shower and getting the temperature sorted for her, I flicked the water off my hand and turned to find Hallie staring at me while hugging her arms around her stomach.
“You don’t have to help, you know.”
“I do,” I deadpanned and reached for her. “Arms up, Hellcat.”
I peeled off her combat uniform top and tank top, then set to work on unbuttoning her pants, stripping them and leaving her bra and underwear until last.
Her face scrunched as she tried to unlatch her bra, then she cursed in frustration while turning. “Can you please unclasp? My fingers aren’t working properly.”
Swallowing heavily, of course I helped her out, then waited as she tossed the bra aside and kicked out of her little black booty shorts.
She took a step toward the shower, but I snagged her elbow and gently brought her to a stop. While studying her at close range, I narrowed my eyes and stared into hers.
“Where’ve you gone, Hellcat?”
“I’m here,” she breathed out.
I shook my head and licked my lower lip nervously. I wasn’t used to her being so timid or at the mercy of another, and it made me uneasy.
“No, I mean, where’s your fight gone? Give me something.Anything.”
A spark of defiance lit her hazel gaze. Within a single blink, she had me by the throat, squeezing hard enough to gain my full attention.
“You mean this fight?”
I slowed my breathing and resisted the urge to grapple with the fingers that clamped around my windpipe. If she needed this—if it helped—then I’d play the crash test dummy while she found herself again.
“It’s a start,” I gritted out hoarsely, and smirked.
Her upper lip curled a little, baring her clenched teeth in a way that made me so fucking happy to see. My girl had fight left in her yet; I just had to coax it to the surface.
“You think this is fucking funny?” she hissed.
“Nope.” One word was all I had air for, and it barely made it through Hallie’s constricting grip.
When pressure built inside my head and my eyes began to widen, I circled my fingers around her wrist and squeezed in warning.
At my reaction, a dark smile formed across her mouth. Vulnerable Hallie was gone, overridden by the woman who had men talking in awe and respect behind her back.