Hallie’s lower lip trembled, and tears sprang in her eyes as if she were enduring a silent hell, hidden deep inside where I couldn’t reach.
“Hallie,” I said softly, concern aching in my voice. “Talk to me, baby. What’s going on?”
Her eyes closed as she shook her head, sending cascades of fresh tears rolling down her cheeks and onto my hands.
“C’mon, let’s get you inside.” I kept her tucked against my side while guiding her down the corridor and unlocked the apartment door.
Hallie wordlessly entered, then whirled on me once the door clicked closed. “I let them all down.”
I shook my head and angled closer. “Let who down, Hells?”
“The women and children being trafficked in Mexico.”
“Wait—” My voice rose in astonishment. “You’ve been inMexicothe last couple of days?”
“Yesterday. There was a mission; it didn’t go as planned.” Her jaw clenched, nostrils flared, and she looked as if she were about to hurl.
I hurried her to the couch, then crouched at her side when she sat. “You gonna be sick?”
All I received was a barely responsive headshake, and fuck, it cut me up inside to want to help her so badly but not know how.
“How did it not go as planned?” She remained stoic until I set my hand on her knee. “Christ, Hells, talk to me!”
The innocent touch startled her. When her eyes met mine, the detachment in the hazel depths unsettled me to the core.
“They were murdered,” she muttered.
I swallowed hard, fearing for her teammates’ lives. “Who?”
“Innocent women and children.”
My brows drew together. “How?”
Hallie’s eyes finally lit with a single emotion. Anger. It was better than none: an angry Hallie meant she wasn’t shutting down for the time being.
“Massacred. Gunned down by the people who should have been protecting them.”
I spluttered, unable to properly get a grip on what went down. “Start at the beginning, Hells, and walk me through it; what you can tell me, anyway.”
Her trembling hands, hunched shoulders, and the way she fidgeted all compounded the foreboding weight on my chest.
“It was supposed to be a simple in-and-out hostage extraction of three people. We knew they were being held by a guerrilla group in Chiapas, and we knew the group was deeply involved with human trafficking, but we didn’t know the local authorities were involved and funding the entire thing. The guerrilla group had ransomed the hostages—one of whom was killed while we were still wheels up en route to the location.
“After we raided using deadly force, the local militia stormed and caught us between the women and children and the exit. They opened fire, and we reciprocated, but after the team withdrew, they opened fire again…”
Hallie paused and took a large, shuddering breath. She then panted as if feeling nauseous again and gripped the couch on either side of her body. Her next sentence was murmured so quietly that I had to lean forward to hear it.
“There was a young girl clinging to me, and I had to fucking pry her off and abandon her, Ayve. She was about the same age as I was when I was abducted and taken to Cape Town. I know from experience how scared she must have been; only she had it so much worse, and I fucking left her there to be killed.”
Hallie shuddered and looked like she was about to puke. I rushed her to the bathroom while she dry heaved and coughed. She barely made it to the toilet, and her vomit-interrupted sobs absolutely broke me. Holding her braids aside and rubbing circles over her back was all I could do. Hell, we’d all been there; holding regrets over what we did and didn’t do during a mission—but this experience held the power to break Hallie completely.
When her purging ceased and she sat back on her heels, I handed her some toilet paper then rinsed a facecloth in cold water. She waited, expressionless, and let me tenderly wipe her face.
Visible shock began to set in, and my movements became urgent when her face drained of color.
I stood, threw the facecloth at the vanity, and lifted Hallie into my arms. “C’mon, babe, up you go.”
Her entire body vibrated in my arms. Shivering and twitching while incoherent words mumbled from her lips. As I laid her on the bed, she tried to sit up but swayed unpredictably.