The sound of his jogging boots had me cursing under my breath.
“Hells, wait up.” He snagged my inner elbow and gently tugged.
“What, Shaun? I’m exhausted and just want to be alone.”
Concern bunched his brow. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. I uh… don’t know what went down back there, but there’s something wrong. I can see it in your eyes.”
“It’s nothing,” I snapped.
“It ain’t nothing, Hells.”
Shrugging, I extracted myself from his hold. “You know how it is, Shaun. Shove it all down to where it’ll eventually be forgotten.”
Anger burned in his gray eyes. “You know that’s bullshit as well as I do.”
“Yeah, but right now it’s what I’m believing.” Much to my dismay, my voice showed my true emotion by cracking. I ducked my head to hide how much it shamed me.
Shaun’s voice softened. “Promise you’ll come talk to me if you need. I’m here as your friend,always.”
I nodded. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“I know. And anytime.” He dropped a quick kiss onto my forehead, then turned to address the team as if nothing affectionate had taken place. “I don’t know about you guys, but I could use a really good meal right now.”
Grumbled agreements murmured around me, and while food was the last thing I wanted, I let that notion go unvoiced.
We loaded into the shuttle when it arrived, and the ride to the hotel was subdued and quiet. I wasn’t the only one who was fucked. We all were.
After checking into the hotel, we rode the elevator one floor up. The pensive silence was only broken by Zeke, who glanced across the five of us.
“So, where does everyone want to go for dinner? I, for one, have no idea where or what one eats in Guatemala. I feel like it could be rats or some shit.”
Lexa snorted. “I vote for the restaurant just off the lobby. Surely that’s safe enough.”
Zeke chuckled. “Safe food it is.”
My focus remained on the floor so I didn’t get drawn into the conversation. All I wanted to do was head to my room and shut the world out. I didn’t know what I’d do once I got there—I just wantedout.
Feeling eyes on me, I snapped my head up and gulped under the intensity of Shaun’s gaze. It roved over my expression with raw concern that had me biting the inside of my cheek. His scowl deepened, then more so when I did nothing but lifelessly return his stare.
The elevator jolted to a stop and snapped us from the wordless exchange. I welcomed the reprieve from his imploring eyes. They saw too much.
“Which key do y’all want?” Nevada asked once we were in the corridor.
“Any,” I grumbled and held out my hand.
She randomly slapped one into my palm and I murmured a thank you before heading a few doors down.
I numbly unlocked the room and pushed inside. Once sealed within, I let my guard drop. I felt it fall from my soul the moment the lock engaged and my back hit the door. I shed it, then stood panting and gasping for each breath as it clawed its way through the wedge of despair in my throat.
My chest ached for the massacred women and children so hard my knees gave out. I landed on the carpeted floor with a thud. Unable and unwilling to move, I lay there for the longest time until a sharp rap of knuckles against the outside of my door had my ragged breath freezing.
“Hallie! Are you coming to dinner?” Lexa called. The door handle jiggled as she tried it.
I closed my eyes and forced my tone to contrast the anguish crippling me on the inside. “No thanks, Lex. I’m not hungry.”
“I’ll bring you back something, babe. You’ll want it later.”
“Sure,” I agreed, purely to appease her. I wasn’t up to a motherly lecture about looking after myself tonight.