My heart pounds wildly, not having a clue what she’s about to do or say next. Is she mad? Does she think I’m crazy? Is she going to take the list to the authorities? Is she going to tell me I’m being an idiot, or worse—decide we can’t continue whatever this is that we’re doing because I’m being reckless?
“I want to help.” Her words are a shock to my system.
“What?” There’s no hiding the surprise in my voice.
“You’re going to let me help you.”
“No, Claire, you don’t—”
She cuts me off. “Two heads are better than one. If this is important to you, you’ll need another set of eyes. This is too much for you to take on yourself. I’m willing, and I’m able. So, you don’t have a choice.”
“There’s always a choice.”
“Nope, you’re stuck with me. Sorry, not sorry.” She hands me the paper. “I’m not taking no as an answer. Consider it another one of our assignments.”
There’s something about the way she insists on volunteering that tells me this is about more than just helping me figure out an old-fashioned whodunit. There’s a fierceness about her that I haven’t seen before, a wild darkness brewing just on the brim, ready to explode through the surface.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to kiss her so fucking badly in this very moment.
But that would only complicate things that much more. And I’m already at a loss on how I’m going to manage the details of this investigation without telling her more than she needs to know. Like, the part about all of this being tied to a criminal underworld, and that the stolen package was probably drugs or something fucking illegal. And if I don’t locate it by the Friday after next I’m almost certain I’m a dead man, or worse, Franklin will go back on the deal we made.
Punishing me is one thing, but I can’t allow him to take out his wrath on someone else, especially an innocent person.
“You don’t know what you’re signing yourself up for,” I tell her, although I’m not as convincing as I should be.
She reaches out and puts her hand on my shoulder. “We’re in this together now.”
Maybe it’s the rush of dopamine from her touch, maybe I’m already dead and someone accidentally granted me access to heaven, but there’s a sort of finality to her declaration that shoots a shock wave straight through my heart.
Claire blushes and turns to face away. “We have to prioritize though. We’ve got this, our project, and getting you caught up on your other assignments. We have a lot of work cut out for us if we’re going to succeed at it all.”
I can’t help but just stare at her in total and utter awe.
All of a sudden, life doesn’t seem so lonely. I’ve been by myself for so long that I never considered what it would be like with someone by my side. It’s obviously temporary, since the tutoring is only for the duration of the course and there’s a deadline on finding the package, but right now, I will embrace whatever time I get with her.
If I’m a dead man walking, I might as well live a little.
"Listen." Claire glances at me again. "I know something is going on…something you don't want to tell me. Or can't tell me? I promise though, this will all be easier if you do. Whatever it is. If you're worried I’m going to judge you, or tell someone, I won’t. I swear. Your secret is safe with me.”
Without really knowing how or why—I believe her, I trust her.
And that by itself terrifies the fuck out of me.
She brings her hand slowly toward my face. “You probably don’t remember this, but when I found you, you asked me not to call for help. I wasn’t sure if it was pride, or something else, and I don’t really know why I listened, but I knew then that you had a secret, and I wasn’t going to be the one to expose you. Not then and not now. Whatever it is, Johnny, you don’t have to do it alone.
“You might not want my help. You might actually hate my guts like you sometimes pretend to. But that isn’t going to stop me from offering.”
I reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear, something that I’m constantly drawn to do but always stop myself from doing. “I don’t hate you.”
Her lips twitch as she fights back a smile, but her twinkling eyes really give it all away.
“Never think that.” I run my thumb along the side of her cheek and down her jaw.
My phone buzzes on the table, but I can’t force myself to look away.
It goes off again.
“You should get that,” Claire suggests.