22
JOHNNY
Putting Claire first makes more sense than me being another one of the bad things in her life. She already has enough to deal with between moving across the country, her psycho ex, and the situation with her mom, not to mention whatever else I don’t know about. I’ve only been around her a little bit, but it’s obvious she’s suffering more than she should.
She puts up a good front, but if anyone took an extra second to really study her, they’d see all the torment she hides from the world.
And maybe it’s not my place to try to save her, I can’t be the reason things get worse for her. So, I’ll stomach my pride and do what I can to make the forced arrangement Professor Brown pushed on us less painful. It’s clear that Claire’s education is important to her, and I won’t stand in the way of that.
Plus, there might be the tiniest bit of selfishness involved. Being around Claire is like someone putting a defibrillator to my chest, bringing me back from a death I never thought I’d escape.
She’s something I haven’t had in a while… She’s hope.
I shouldn’t rely on it, because it’s a fleeting feeling, but I will cling to every ounce of it while I can, like it’s the only thing keeping me alive.
Given my situation, it might be the very thing thatdoeskeep me alive.
The clock is ticking on locating this package, and I haven't gotten any closer to figuring out who took it, let alone where it is. Luckily, Franklin hasn't been too demanding of my services lately, either because he doesn't trust I'll actually get them delivered, or because I'm about to meet my end. Both alternatives are bad news for me.
“What are you working on?” Claire approaches from the entrance of the courtyard. She must be finished with her classes for the day.
Her eyes sparkle and her ponytail bobs as she walks closer. There’s something different about her. A newfound light that shines a little brighter.
Last night was a turning point for us. An olive branch that solidified into a common understanding, that we would get through this together, considering there were no other choices.
We’re doing what we have to do, given the circumstances.
Granted, being forced to be together is equal parts a blessing and a curse.
“Um, nothing.” I move my arm over to cover the page.
She narrows her gaze. “You are a terrible liar. What is it?”
“A school thing.”
“Well, since I’m your tutor…” She pokes at my side to distract me.
I wince at my still sore rib and end up giving her the perfect opening.
Claire glides the paper out from under me. “I’m sorry, I forgot those take time to heal.” She scans the document and props herself onto the picnic table. “I don’t get it. It’s just a bunch of names with random notes.”
I scratch my head and think like hell, trying to come up with an explanation. “Mmhm.”
She drops her goofy attitude and looks at it again, then at me. “Johnny,” she lowers her voice. “Is this what I think it is?”
I swallow, the carefree atmosphere drifting away with the shift in her tone. “What do you think it is?”
There’s absolutely no way that she has any idea what the scribbles mean.
“Is this a list of suspects?” She stares me deeply in the eyes.
How the fuck am I supposed to lie to her when she asked me such a direct question? We’re five minutes into a truce and she’s already dipping her toes into a world that she should stay far, far away from.
My mouth opens and betrays me. “Yes.” I shouldn’t, but I continue, “They took something from me, and I need to get it back.”
What have I done? This isn’t going to end well.
She slides off the top of the table and positions herself next to me, only a few inches away. Her jaw tenses as she holds the paper between us. She lowers her head to take in the names once more and then glances up at me through her lashes.