“Are the orgasms worth it?”
“No?”
“You don’t sound sure.”
“I mean, it felt good, but then…”
In the moment his nasty talk had gotten me hot, hotter than I’d ever been in my life, but thinking about it after was embarrassing.
I hated that he could turn me into a blubbering, begging mess. That he’d seen me at my most vulnerable, and it had all been a game to him.
He didn’t like me. He’d just been messing with me.
I felt dirty, used.
I hated that I didn’t hate it.
“Maybe it’s best to stay away from him.”
“Easy for you to say. You don’t live with the guy.”
“You lived with him in high school and managed to avoid him.”
“That was in a whole ass house. We’re basically on top of each other here.”
He snorted at my inadvertent joke.
“Shut up. I’m being serious.”
“Sorry.”
“Ugh. This is so messed up.”
“It is.”
“Let’s talk about something else. My brain hurts from thinking about this.”
“’Kay.” Dec made a sound like he was stretching. “We could talk about what losers we are, playing video games on a Friday night while we’re both away at university and in the prime of our youth.”
“We could.” I chuckled. “Although you’re more of a loser than me, since you actually have IRL friends.”
“You would too if you put yourself out there. What about that Elle girl? You hung out with her last year.”
“Yeah, but I haven’t talked to her since before summer.”
“Have you texted her?”
“No.”
“You can’t expect people to come to you if you’re not willing to put yourself out there.”
“Stop being so wise. It’s weird.”
“I’m just saying.”
“Ugh. Fine. I’ll text her. She probably forgot who I am anyway.”
“Doubtful.”