“Yeah, ‘cause all the boys are lining up to hook up with a twenty-one-year-old virgin.”
Dec laughed, his voice sharp and clear through the headset, and my face heated.
“Stop telling people you’re a virgin, and voilà, problem solved.”
“That might work with chicks, but it’s pretty obvious for guys when someone doesn’t know what they’re doing.”
“You say this like you know it for a fact.”
“Anal takes prep, and it’s not like you can just shove it in like you can with girls.”
“You’re definitely gay if you think girls want us to just shove our dicks into them.” Dec’s character appeared in the corner of my screen, and I aimed my BFG, or big fucking gun, at him.
“You asshole!”
I laughed maniacally as his character died again.
“It’s not like you have to prep them,” I pointed out and checked out where I was on the map.
“Yeah. You do.” His voice was incredulous. “I mean, girls don’t just magically get wet and ready for sex. It takes time, foreplay, prep. The guys who skip those parts are assholes and have no business hooking up with anyone.”
“Maybe. But it’s fundamentally different with guys.”
“Obvs.” I could hear his eye roll through the headset. “One is dicks and assholes, and the other is pus—"
“Ugh. You know I hate that word.”
“My bad.”
When I was seventeen, some jocks at my high school had outed me, and they’d spent the next year calling me a pussy. I hated that word. It always brought me right back to the bullying.
“So how’re things in the great white north? You get snow yet?”
“It’s barely September, moron. We have summer and fall here.”
I switched between weapons, searching for a drop to claim.
“I mean, they only last a few months before the snow, but still. Canada has four seasons too.”
“Yeah. Winter, pre-winter, post-winter, and summer.”
“Accurate.” He laughed. “But pre-winter is basically hurricane season here.”
“I can’t believe you live in a place where hurricanes are a thing.”
“The East Coast of the US deals with them too.”
“True, but still. The pics you sent me of the last storm were insane.”
“Yeah, that was a bad one.” He sighed. “But it’s worth it to have universal healthcare.”
“Oof, shots fired. That was harsh, bruh.”
“All the more reason for you to move here after grad.”
“I can’t just immigrate to another country.”
“Why not?”