Actually, scratch that. I didn’t get up at 6:00 a.m. That would require having slept. My demons wouldn’t let me rest. There was nothing but quiet in the house. Nothing but questions and regrets and gut-wrenching memories. I’m haunted by the way she looked at me. As though she could finally see me clearly. As though she could see the monster everyone else did.
Motion catches my eye across the street, and I flip my head toward Dia’s house. Her brother has just drawn the curtains. I expect Jesse to walk away from the window, but he doesn’t budge, glaring directly at me.
He saw me.
And he wants me to know.
I’m not stupid. I knew they’d notice my car parked in front of their house sooner or later, but I was hoping for more time. I have no clue what to say to them, let alone what I’ll say to her.
Based on the way Jesse is mentally murdering me right now, I’m confident that he knows something happened. Dia told them about the sex tape, didn’t she? Jesus, how am I ever going to live that down?
Stop, you don’t know that for sure.
There’s still a chance that Dia didn’t tell them. She mentioned she got into a fight with her dads after they found out she was living with me all summer, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she gave them the silent treatment.
My focus drifts to the vehicles in the Mitchells’ driveway. I spot Aveena’s car parked behind Dia’s, and the dots connect themselves. Aveena must’ve spent the night at the Mitchells’. I decide I have no choice but to confront them when one of Dia’s dads joins Jesse at the window. He’s holding Dia’s little brother in his arms, staring bullets right through my skull.
I’ve never met Dia’s parents. I know one of her dads owns Gaten’s, a restaurant downtown, but seeing as Dia and I have been sneaking around for months, I never got the chance to introduce myself. In my defense, what the hell was I going to say?
Hi, my name is Finn. I’m the asshole who’s been fucking your daughter behind your backs all summer. Oh, and you know how she came home crying last night? That’s my fault. Can I come in?
I feel like I’m an addict, and they’re the only thing standing between me and my fix when I climb out of my car. This probably isn’t a good idea, but the girl I love is somewhere inside that house, convinced that I never gave a shit about her, and I’ll be damned if I don’t at least try to prove her wrong.
I slowly make my way over to the front door. I don’t even have time to knock before the door creaks open, revealing a pissed-off Jesse and Dia’s apprehensive parents. They look at me like they’re afraid I’m going to barge in and turn over every piece of furniture until I find Dia. And the sad truth is…
I just might.
“What do you want?” Jesse moves closer to block the door.
“I just want to talk to her,” I choke out. “Please let me see her.”
God, I don’t even sound like me.
I can’t fucking believe what I’ve become.
Jesse arches an eyebrow. “Give me one good reason why I should.”
“Because I messed up.” I opt for the “safe” answer. I’m not sure how much she’s told them, but I’d rather not fill them in, just in case they’re clueless. They already hate me enough as it is.
Jesse cracks a bitter laugh, shaking his head as he says, “Is that what you call it? Messing up?”
How does he even know?
“How do you—”
He cuts me off. “Thin walls.”
Oh.
He must’ve heard the girls talking last night.
“Dude, just go home. It’s over.” Jesse starts to close the door in my face, but I stick my foot in the gap, holding the door open.
“I just want five minutes,” I insist.
He scoffs. “I knew you were selfish, but you’re a fucking narcissist if you think what you want matters right now.”
“Is she… okay?” My voice wavers.