“Did you ever look for her?” I croak.
He releases a sigh. “Been doing it for years.”
“And?”
“Nothing so far. But I’m never going to stop trying. I know she’s out there. She has to be.”
I only realize I’m tearing up when Jesse hands me a napkin. I take it with a thanks and dry the corners of my eyes.
“God, I wish I knew what she looked like,” I say more to myself than him. I expect him to tell me she was beautiful and try to describe her from memory, but Jesse keeps his mouth shut and starts digging into his back pocket. I watch as he pulls out his wallet.
“What are you doing?”
“The right thing,” he says and pulls out a wrinkly piece of paper.
My tears pick up again when he unfolds the paper.
“Is that…”
“A photo of her.” He hands it to me.
Tears soak my mouth before I know it, and I reach for the photograph with trembling fingers. A gasp spills from my lips when I drink her in. The photograph was taken in a park, next to a yellow roundabout, and she’s wearing a white dress with strawberries on it, a big smile on her face. She was obviously young—most likely around seven—when the picture was taken, but the resemblance between us is still striking.
Her skin is lighter than mine, but her hair is dark and curly, too. She has dimples, and her nose is slimmer. Her lips are shaped differently and a bit fuller, but other than that, she looks like another version of me.
“It’s yours,” Jesse informs me, and I look up at him, blinded by the tears.
“I can’t take it. It’s your last reminder of her.” I hand the photograph back to him.
He pushes it back toward me. “I have a few copies and the memories. That’s all I need.”
I don’t think twice, giving a nod and pressing the picture of my mother to my chest.
“Thank you,” I choke out.
“Are we good?” he asks once I’ve wiped my cheeks.
I pretend to hesitate for a second, only to give him the biggest smile I can muster. “We’re good.”
My father’s voice slices through the air before Jesse can answer. “I’m sorry that took so long. Your brother forgot Boo Boo the bear at my place, and he’s throwing a fit you can hear all the way to China.”
Dave shoves his phone in his pocket, stopping by the table, and zooms in on my puffy face. “What’s wrong?”
I sniffle. “Nothing’s wrong.”
God knows things could’ve been wrong. My life would’ve been hell if it weren’t for Dave taking me in. I might’ve been a victim of sexual assault, just like Bex was. He and Gaten gave me the family my mom used to dream about, the life she would’ve given anything to have, and I’ll be damned if I let my anger make me forget it.
“Dia?” Dave worries, and I come to the conclusion that words aren’t going to cut it this time. I dab at my cheek with my sleeve and push to my feet, stopping in front of my confused father.
Then I just hug him.
His arms close around me instantly.
“Dad, I…” I choke on a quiet sob. I probably look like a hormonal nutjob to the people in the restaurant.
“I know, honey.” Dave holds me tight, rubbing my back. “I know.”
We stay like that for a few minutes, and I scold myself for not agreeing to this dinner sooner. I might’ve lost a part of myself that day on Lake Belmont.
But I refuse to lose my family.