She’s got me there. I didn’t tell Vee. But only because I knew she wouldn’t approve. The reality is, I’m not the innocent girl I was at the beginning of last summer. Maybe Lacey’s right. Maybe I’m lying to myself.
Aveena and I have drifted apart.
And I’m not sure we can find our way back.
* * *
I shouldn’t have come.
It was easy to pretend like Finn had no power over me when I was getting ready with the girls. It was easy to say “Fuck him” when we were drinking and dancing at Lacey’s place beforehand.
But now that we’re here? Parked in front of Theo’s house? Everything is difficult. Getting out of the car. Putting on a brave face. Acting like I don’t see Finn’s car parked across the street.
So damn difficult.
He’s in there. Probably drinking with his friends, bragging about his plan to get lucky tonight. I thought I was going to die when Lacey told me the reason why Theo was throwing a party.Apparently, Finn wanted him to host the party so he could find someone new.
A new girl.
A new me.
Call me vindictive, but I refuse to make it easy for him. I’m going to be there every time he tries to move on, judging him, staring at him. He doesn’t get to just find someone else after what he did.
“Thanks for driving, Vee,” I slur as we’re climbing out of my car.
That last tequila shot was definitely too much.
“No problem.” Aveena forces a smile, and I cringe deep inside.
Here’s another thing I shouldn’t have done: invite her.
I could see it on her face from the moment she showed up at Lacey’s house. The regret. She was regretting her decision. And I don’t blame her. Lacey and I were already tipsy by the time she got there, and she wound up having to play designated driver since I was in no position to drive to the party.
Why did I invite her, you ask?
Because I need her, that’s why.
I begged her to come even though I know she’s uncomfortable with these things. Aveena Harper is my voice of reason. She brings me back when I’m about to do something stupid. I’ve been treating her like a moral compass, keeping her around as a reminder of who I was—a good student, a good daughter, a good person.
I know if she’s here, I won’t go too far.
How fucked-up is that?
Lacey hands us a bottle of vodka each and loops her arm with mine as we’re stumbling toward the door. I notice Aveena fidgeting with her phone and tangle my other arm with hers to soothe her social anxiety. She shoots me a grateful smile.
5.
I count down the seconds until we’re inside.
4.
I place my hand on the doorknob.
3.
We walk in.
2.