Lucia
My feet feel like lead as I walk away and make my way upstairs.
I would have loved to stay with them, but I turned the idea down for the same reason I opted to go to bed.
It’s because I can’t be around him, and it’s not for the reason he thinks. It’s clear he believes I’m being indifferent because of what he did.
But I’m not, and I’d rather have him believe I’m acting the way I am because of him than know the truth.
I also couldn’t be intimate with him tonight and be the liar I am at the same time.
I could hardly look at him just now. Hardly talk to him without guilt riding my shoulder like the devil.
Last night, I got a rude awakening, and the worst thing was it wasn’t the part about seeing how dangerous Alejandro is. Of course, seeing a man die in the manner he killed him would turn anybody’s brain inside out. Even if said guy deserved it after what he did to me and my father.
What’s threatening to suffocate me is knowing Alejandro could be dead now because of me.
So, yes… I do know he had to kill that man.
It was a kill-or-be-killed moment.
I practically led Alejandro outside into a convenient trap that opened my eyes to the clear realization that I definitely have not been told everything about this plan. Of course, I knew there were parts that were left out, but I don’t think it’s just information El Diablo wants.
If he did, there would be no need to follow Alejandro.
My thoughts are that last night was an accident. I think Red and that other guard were really just following. I don’t think they were there to kill, but the other guy got heated in the moment of the fight knowing Alejandro was going to kill him.
That was why he retaliated. Anybody would do that. They wouldn’t just lie down and die when they could stop it from happening.
That brought me to the next conclusion based on the question of why you would follow a person, and I figured they were mapping his route so they could track him and come up with a plan.
My heart tells me that plan is to kill him, and that’s why I couldn’t stay around him.
I don’t go to my room. Instead, I pull my phone out of my short’s pocket and head down to the atrium.
No one should be about, and with Estelle downstairs, I don’t have to worry about her hovering at my back or watching my shadow.
I head out onto the terrace just to be sure. That way, if anyone does come outside, I’ll hear the door open. I’m aware now that twice I’ve been on the phone and people have snuck up on me.
I dial Red’s number and ignore the ID saying it’s Dad. Earlier, I called him twice. The first time, he answered, and when I asked about last night, he told me it was none of my concern. He didn’t answer the second time.
I want to talk to him now before I do anything else.
The phone rings out and goes to voicemail. I call back and have to call five times before the motherfucker answers.
“You fucking bitch, you are riding the wrong guy’s ass,” he growls so loud my eardrum hurts.
“Give me answers, and I’ll leave you alone.”
“Sweetheart, you are in no position to make demands of me. If I were with you, I’d beat your ass for that tone of voice you think you can take with me.”
“Fuck you,” I say too loudly. I don’t know where the balls come from, but I grow a pair and keep going with the motion harnessing whatever spell has overtaken me. “You need me. Or I wouldn’t be here. El Diablo needs me, or you wouldn’t have sent me to Brazil for this job. That puts me exactly in the position to make demands.”
He’s quiet for a moment, then there’s a haggard sigh.
“There’s nothing you need to know about last night.”
“Why are you following Alejandro?” I ask, ignoring the remark.