My lantern light catches the warning in his stare. A legionary must be nearby and listening. That, or he’s reminding me to keep up all pretenses.
Zander reaches over to take the basket from me, his hand sweeping across my rib cage, sending a warm shiver through my body.
Until I look up and note the drop of blood on his bottom lip. An ice-cold bucket of reality douses the warmth. “You missed a spot.”
Understanding skims across his face, and his tongue darts out, erasing the evidence.
I may have been looking for Zander earlier, but now that I’ve found him, I regret it.
Reaching for another basket from the pile, I move to the other side of the tree in search of more apples but really to put space between us.
“I had no choice.”
I swallow the lump swelling in my throat. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” It’s clear in every way that we’re no longer together. But what choice did he make? Was it just her blood, or did he also satisfy himself in other ways?
“You’re right, I don’t.”
The lantern light shines through the branches, allowing me to meet his gaze.
“I am what I am, and you are what you are, and we can’t change any of it. There is no point dwelling on what we shared in the past because it is just that—in the past.”
It’s official. The king of Islor is breaking up with me. I knew it was coming, yet I feel no relief hearing the words now. “You think I haven’t figured that out already? It’s been over since Cirilea.” I set my jaw. “You abandoned me when I was standing right in front of you!”
“And have I left your side?” he asks calmly.
Every night. “No, but only because you need me.”
He picks an apple off the stem. “I have the people of Islor to think of, and I must do what’s best for them, no matter the cost.”
“And what exactly is this costing you?”
His chuckle is derisive. “What hasn’t it cost me?”
His family.
His crown.
His heart.
Another darker thought stirs, and my chest tightens as the pieces click together. Little comments he’s made, things Gesine has alluded to. I level him with a hard look. “You want to use me to get your throne back and then what? What happens to me after that?”
He’s the first to look away. “I cannot see into the future.”
Neither can I, but I can guess. “Everyone’s an enemy now, right?”
“I must prepare for all outcomes for the sake of Islor.” His voice is wooden as he focuses on the fruit in his grasp.
I push aside this nauseating sensation, knowing the kinds of choices Zander must be weighing about me. “Don’t worry. I’m used to being a pawn.” I spent years playing Korsakov’s game, knowing he would have me killed the second I outlived my purpose.
The difference is, I wasn’t in love with him.
Zander flinches, but then his body stiffens with his resolve. “We cannot take that girl with us. Venhorn is no place for her. It’ll be dangerous enough as it is.”
Switching topics. More proof of a guilty conscience. But I let it go because the truth is, I don’t think I can hear him say those other words out loud without it breaking me. “It’s Eden’s choice.”
“And if you told her the truth, do you think she would make the same one?”
“Fine. We can find a better keeper for her in Bellcross.”