THIRTY-SEVEN
We search for a good spot on the beach a couple minutes’ walk away from the reception tent. Kayden’s hand lingers on my back as we walk, and the heat from his palm sends a sensation of tiny fires across my body. I should have fought back harder when Evans decided I should wear this backless dress for the wedding because it just gives Kayden more surface area to make direct contact with my skin.
Despite that, I don’t ask him to take his hand away.
When we’ve finally found a place—an empty patch of beach amid the tall, billowing grass—I kick off my shoes and plop down onto the white sand, pulling my knees together and hugging them. Kayden follows suit, shrugging out of his blazer and laying it on top of his shoes so it doesn’t get sandy. His hair is disheveled from Evans’s punch, and his clean, fresh scent tickles my nostrils as he sits down beside me. He makes sure to put a respectable space between us, which I’m grateful for. Otherwise, my self-restraint might find itself in shambles.
We both stare at the vast sea spread out in front of us.
Night has completely fallen over the sky, cloaking us in a cold chill as the wind lightly teases my hair. The lull of the water cresting against the shore coaxes the locked box that guards my heart to open, but I clutch the key tightly, afraid of what Kayden might say to me.
The air is dense with an ocean of unspoken words between us, neither of us wanting to be the first to speak. It still feels surreal, with him sitting right beside me.
“I miss this place,” Kayden starts off, his voice velvety thick with emotion as he allows the cool breeze to tickle his ends of his hair. “Makes me wish I didn’t leave it in the first place.”
“Where were you?” I ask.
“I was in Phoenix,” he tells me, leaning back on his arms, his elbows digging into the sand. When he catches my confused expression, he adds. “I have an uncle there. Helped out with his car repair business. It was nice. Got some much needed peace and quiet after all the chaos.”
I nod wordlessly. At least he had family around him while he was gone. At least he wasn’t alone.
“I figured you knew about me being there.” He speaks softly, face angling toward me. “Did my mother tell you anything?”
“No. I sort of forbade her.”
“Why?”
“You know why,” I whisper, picking at a piece of grass on my lap.
Silence follows.
“Maybe, if you’d known, you could have visited me,” he says with a strained smile.
Annoyance flares across my skin.
“Kayden, how was I supposed to know if you even wanted to see me? You never even tried to contact me after you left,” I mutter, setting the lock of grass down on the sand.
“I thought you hated me.”
“I could never hate you,” he tells me. “And the reason why I didn’t call is because . . . well, I knew you would have a better life without me in it.”
“You know I didn’t need you to make that decision for me.” My tone is razor sharp as it slices through his expression to reveal a canvas of regret.
“I know.” Misery lodges in his throat, causing his next words to come out strangled but he pushes them through anyway. “I’m sorry, Sienna. I should have given you that choice. I made a lot of mistakes with you, and the worst thing I ever did was steal that decision away.” He lets out a lungful of air. “I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Thank you.” I breathe, looking down at my knees.
“The apology wasn’t necessary but thank you.” I pause for a moment, shifting my body uncomfortably. “And well, I think I owe you an apology too. I know the reason you did what you did is because I pushed you into a corner and you felt like throwing the fight was what you needed to do.
And I’m sorry for that. I let my need for revenge trump my feelings for you. And I will always regret that. I should have been a better girlfriend.”
“Lucky . . .” he starts off, broad shoulders dropping. “I know we had our issues but I never thought you were a bad girlfriend. You lit up my whole fucking world.”
My breath stalls in my throat. I forgot just how much of an effect his beautiful words can have on me.
The air between us doesn’t feel so friendly anymore with his compliment. Kayden knows it, too, because he clears his throat and brings the conversation back to its casual roots again.
“So, a little birdie told me you’ve been staying busy here in Boston,” he says, glancing at me.