Seth’s eyes widen. “No.” He lets out a breath. “I love you, Sal, but not like that.”
Sal flushes in embarrassment. “I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, don’t be.” Seth reaches across the table to take her hand. He rubs his thumb back and forth over her knuckles in a gesture Sal finds comforting. “You can tell me anything.”
“Does that go the same for me?” Sal volleys, eyeing him evenly.
Seth sighs. “Goddamnit.” She smiles when she sees him relenting. He levels her with a scowl. “Fine. But Luke’s gonna be pissed as hell if he hears I was layin’ this on you your first day home, you hear me?”
She nods, mimes zipped lips.
“It ain’t pretty,” he says.
“That’s okay.” Her heart speeds up. It’s so fast she can hear it in her ears.
Seth swallows thickly. “’Bout ten years ago, back when we first hit it big, I got into some trouble on the road.”
Sal cocks her head. “What kind of trouble?”
“Drugs.” Seth says it so point-blank she winces. “Cocaine. I hid it for a few months, but when I started missing gigs, sure as shit, Luke found out.” A small chuckle. “Man, he was so pissed; he tried to kick me out of the band. You threatened me with bodily harm. We’d been on tour for about a month when you found me.”
Sal licks her lips. “Found you what?”
“Overdosin’ in the goddamn bathtub.”
“Jesus,” she whispers, knocked down by the news.
“You picked up on it first. You knew something was wrong. The night it happened, you followed me back to the motel after the show.” A tight smile spreads across Seth’s face. “You wiped the blood from my nose and used your med kit to hook me up to an IV.”
She frowns. “I did that?”
She looks down at her hands. Hands that kept blood in. Hands that jumpstarted a heart. It’s unfathomable to her that she once had a job. Sal tries to picture the memory. Ambulances. Giving aid to those who needed it. But all she gets is a bottomless blackness.
“You did.” Seth’s grip on Sal’s hand tightens. “You took care of me and you kept it out of the press.” His expression fills with shame. “I didn’t deserve any of that, and yet you did it.” Seth’s voice breaks as he adds, “I coulda burned down the band, every hope and dream Luke had, and you wouldn’t let me. You wouldn’t let me embarrass myself, and you wouldn’t give up on me.”
The gratefulness in Seth’s voice has Sal reeling.
“You’re better now?” She can’t help the concern creeping into her question.
“I haven’t touched the stuff since that night.” Seth’s voice is quiet as he meets Sal’s gaze. “I owe you my life. You saved me, Sal.”
Sal moves her head to stare out the window, her heart wrecked by the revelation. She knew there was something between them, had felt that since their first encounter in the diner, and while it’s not romantic love, it’s love nonetheless.
There’s wetness on her face, and when she reaches up to wipe her cheek, her hand fills with hot tears. When she looks back at Seth, he’s watching her with worry. She has to tell him.
“You saved me too,” she says hoarsely.
Seth’s brow furrows slightly, but he keeps a tight grip on her hand. The encouraging look in his eyes bids her to go on. “That day on the beach ... I tried ... I was going to ...”
He’s pale, but he nods like he knows where she’s going with this. Finally, Sal lets loose a wild shudder. “If you hadn’t stopped me ...”
The words hang heavy like an anchor between them.
She gives a wobbly smile. “I’m glad you were there.”
“Me too.” Seth smiles back, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Now we’re even, okay?”
“Yeah,” Sal says, wondering. She’d swear there’s more to his story. “Even.”