“And I didn’t give him an answer,” I finished.
Petra looked away. She looked up at the ceiling and then over at the counter. She took a sip of her water, leaving me hanging. “You should go for it,” she said finally, giving me the relief I craved.
“You really think so?”
“Yes! Oh my God. You have the opportunity to really explore your sexuality. I don’t know any of these guys, but you do. Do you think they would be fun to sleep with?”
“It’s not just fun,” I enthused. “I think I actually like all of them.”
“Then that’s an even better reason to try it out,” Petra advised. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
“I could make a big mess of things and have to quit,” I said.
“Do you really think that would happen?”
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Then you’ll go back to job hunting.”
“Yeah.” I slumped in my seat. I liked the internship. It was easy, and while I knew it didn’t pay nearly as well as being an investment banker, it paid almost exactly what I had been earning in retail. I was learning a lot from Damien too. Every afternoon, he showed me something different about the market. How trading happened, when to buy and when to sell, how to know if an investment was going to take off. It was exciting stuff. I’d never had a “career” before, only a job. For most of my life, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I could see myself moving up in the financial world. I didn’t want to give that up.
“Maybe I should just focus on my work.”
“Why fight it when you could have hot foursome sex?” Petra leaned close to whisper.
I laughed, feeling scandalized by the simple notion. Yet that’s what I was leaning toward, wasn’t it? Didn’t I wonder what it would be like, and hadn’t I asked Millie the same thing multiple times? Just because no one else did it didn’t mean I had to abstain for myself. Damien had offered, so he must have been thinking about it too. Probably not with his friends, but he must have at least considered the possibility.
I finished my bear claw hurriedly.
“Come help me clean up,” Petra said, rising to her feet.
I followed her into the back and took direction as she commanded me here and there like an employee. We continued our conversation where no one could hear us, not even the lone customer all the way in the back.
It was refreshing to have someone tell me to go for it. The thought hadn’t even coalesced in my mind, but Petra was all over it. I wondered if she had someone special, but every time I tried to change the subject, she brought it right back to one of the three of my guys.
It was strange to think of them that way. They weren’t my boyfriends, except for Damien. Even he wasn’t official yet. It was more accurate to think of them as my bosses, but I had to admit that I wouldn’t mind sleeping with them. The realization took me by storm, and I wondered what I would do with the newfound knowledge.
What had Millie done before she’d convinced them all to share their lives? Had she been as terrified as I felt at that moment? Did she doubt herself and her connection to any or all of the professors? I really needed to sit down with her and pump her for information. Of all my friends and relatives, only Millie was living the life I wanted to live. She alone could give me the details necessary to help me get from point A to point B.
Petra was fun and encouraging, and I needed that too. But I decided that as soon as Millie was available, I was going to jump on her. What were twins for, after all? She had the experience I wanted, so the least she could do was explain how she got it. I stayed to help Petra close up shop, then gave her a hug and got back into my car to go home.