I tip my head and put my forehead to hers with a small sigh.
“You need to hit the bathroom before we go down?” I ask, and she nods. “I’ll cover for you.”
“Thanks,” she whispers and watches me closely as she closes the door. My body feels light, buzzing with an energy I’m not familiar with—a wave of tingling that spans to my fingertips. I shudder, pushing the feelings down and trying to wipe the smile off my face.
As I jog down the stairs, a flash of a headlight flares through the front window. Cut right in the centre is the silhouette of a person standing in front of our house. The vehicle passes, and I step closer to the window, peering through the foggy glass.
There’s a woman on the sidewalk, and she’s holding something, but I can’t make out any details about her. My features scrunch up, and I turn to the living room, doing a headcount of the women in the house. Tab, Del, Pris, Briggs, and Cade are all crowded around the table with glasses of wine or beer while Millie bustles about between them. My brothers are lounging on the couch. Mom is in her chair, focused on the crochet hooks in her hands. Nova is in the bathroom upstairs.
Everyone is here.
Jess, maybe?
I turn back to the window, wondering if Jess brought something for Mom.
The woman is gone.
Weird.
“Uncle Zeke,” Millie calls, and I face her just in time to catch her in a hug. She’s a solid little shit and nearly the size of her mom now. “Can I open my presents tonight?”
“I dunno, kiddo. That’s not really up to me.” I pry her from me and put my hands on her shoulders. She’s such a blend of my family and Briggs, but the Stryker features are strong.
I wonder what my son will look like—if he’ll look like me. The lurch in my stomach is sudden, and it doubles me over with its intensity.
“You okay?” Millie asks, ducking from my grip.
I shake my head like Jet’s horse when she’s trying to get the flies off her nose. “Yeah, all good.”
Nova comes down the steps, and I reach out a hand to help her. These things are becoming second nature, knowing she isn’t good with stairs or balance in general.
“Hi, Nova.” Millie brightens at the sight of Nova’s bulging belly and leans forward. “Hi, baby.”
“Hi, Millie,” Nova says, her cheeks still slightly flushed.
I’m back to the same train of thought I had upstairs. The more time I spend with her—the closer I get to her, the more she lets me into her world—the deeper and deeper I sink. The harder it is to ignore this dark, empty space in my heart that constantly whispers to me.
You don’t deserve her. You can’t protect her. You’ll never be good enough.
“Do you know what you’re going to name him?” Millie’s voice bursts through my shadowy thoughts.
“Not yet. We haven’t talked about that yet,” Nova says. “So, if you have any suggestions….”
Millie beams and grabs Nova’s hand, dragging her away from me to the dining room with the rest of the women. Del is missing from the table now, and Millie plops down where she was sitting a few moments ago.
I glance out the window again, my heart skipping at the thought of that person on the lawn. Something uneasy settles over me. Given what Nova told me about being blackmailed and that things have started to happen to her here in Raston, I decide that’s what it is. I’m feeling overprotective and jumpy. That woman was probably just walking a dog and waiting for it to piss on a bush or something mundane like that. I want to get Nova alone to talk more about it, but I promised to leave it alone tonight.
Del appears through the doorway with a magazine rolled up in her fist and a very determined look on her face.
Ah, shit.
I should have known better than to think we could have one night.