CHAPTER21
NOVA
NOVEMBER
It’s been three weeks since I first slept in his bed. Last night he slept in mine for the same reasons. I have an ultrasound today in Morleau, and the sadness of it gutted me so unexpectedly and ferociously, I still feel it today.
I roll over, and he’s still here, sprawled out with one arm over his head, his mouth slightly open and a light snore rumbling in his chest. I curl up on my side and watch him sleep as my mind wanders through my emotions, thick like sludge.
Figgy jumps on the bed, walking up my body like a balance beam before he hops down to curl under my chin. I give him kisses and scratch his ears while he paws jealously at my chin, trying to make me look at him and not the stunning man in my bed.
Zeke has a work thing he can’t get out of with his brothers, so he insisted Tabby take me to my ultrasound. I sigh and snuggle deeper into the bed because that’s not why I’m upset. That’s not why I needed him last night.
His eyes flutter, and a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth.
“You creeping on me, Forrester?” he asks with a groggy rumble, and I fight not to climb straight on top of him.
Honestly, I’m not sure why I’m still holding back. He told me I could weeks ago.
“You’re gorgeous when you snore.” I tease him, but the way he opens his eyes says I didn’t do a great job of hiding my sadness.
Zeke softens and rolls to his side. “You still struggling with your mom not being here?” He reaches for me, but Figgy growls low in his throat, causing him to pull his hand back.
“Why do you hate me so much?” Zeke asks.
I scoop my cat up with a stern look and set him down on the floor.
“He’s just jealous,” I say, settling back in.
Last night, the realization hit me hard: my mom won’t be with me at my ultrasound. The first time I get to see my baby.
Zeke closes the distance, touching my face—something he does so often. He leans forward and kisses my forehead. “I’m sorry, Nova. Could you call her?”
I shake my head, thoughts of Mom rushing me, reminding me again that this moment won’t include her.
“I told you, I don’t have to go with Jet,” he says.
I shake my head again. “It’s fine if Tabby takes me. I want to spend more time with her before she leaves, anyway.”
I could have taken myself to the doctor, but I’ve never driven on snow before, and it’s like the goddamn North Pole out there. Some days I feel like I’m living in a beautiful snow globe, and others, it’s like a frozen hellscape.
Zeke flinches slightly at my words. As time goes on, these moments start to pile up. I know he doesn’t want her to leave, but he also knows she has to.
“You gotta tell your mom, Nova,” he pleads, prying into my heart with his eyes and scooting closer to me. “You keep saying you can’t. I know something is going on. I know something has you spooked. I just wish you’d tell me.”
I scoot toward him, and he hugs me close, my face pressed into his neck. It’s easier to turn down my thoughts when he’s this close. His skin is warm and spicy, and without thinking, I place a soft kiss at the base of his jaw, just under his beard.
He groans lightly, his chest rumbling against mine. His fingers thread through my hair, and I let my mouth linger on his skin, revelling in the way he tastes. Our legs are tangled together in the bed, and I can feel the way his body responds to me.
How have I not spent the last few months fucking him every chance I got?
I must really hate myself to deny this.
He tugs gently on my hair, coaxing me to look into his eyes. “I would love to kiss you right now,” he whispers, his mouth close to mine. “But am I just a distraction?”
It’s the first genuinely vulnerable thing he’s said to me. I lick my lip in anticipation.
“We should have been kissing each other a long time ago, I think,” I whisper, and his gaze narrows in further.