I snap up the lunch and head to my office, flopping down in the dusty old leather chair. There are papers all over my desk as I desperately pick away at the forty years’ worth of Gord’s style of business. It’s a fucking disaster.
The rest of my shop is immaculate because if it’s not, I can’t function. Gord was surprised at my need for organization, considering I didn’t exactly thrive in the world of school. The structure of the shop makes sense to me, though. School never did. I never understood it.
I swivel in my chair, my thoughts eaten up by so many things. I close my eyes and try to settle them, but it only gets worse. My brain works too fast. I’m on overdrive all the time.
Finally, I grab my phone and jab at the buttons, texting Jess.
Zeke: Why are you taking my mom to church?
I toss the phone on the desk and grab the container Tabby brought for lunch. It’s a creamy pasta with shrimp. Tabby’s obsession with cooking is both a blessing and a curse. I shovel the delicious noodles into my mouth and decide to do a workout tonight.
The ding of my phone distracts me.
Jess: Because she asked me to. Does that upset you?
My gut drops, and I wipe my mouth and hands before replying. Guilt is like a slow leak, dripping steadily somewhere inside me. I can hear the drops echoing rhythmically, but I can’t find the source.
Zeke: No. I’m not upset. She likes you. It’s fine.
I stare at the ceiling, paralyzed by my choices. Nova has to meet my brothers and their girlfriends. She has to meet my mom.
If I want this to be better than the disaster in my head, I have to get my shit together. Shove all of these weird feelings down and be steady.
For her.