Chapter Four
XAN
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The beer in front ofme is still full, the bubbly white foam completely gone, but I haven’t taken more than one sip. Information tumbled through my mind all day, but it still doesn’t make any sense. I can’t be a father.
Briggs is a lot of things but she’s not the kind of person who keeps something like this on purpose. The things I said to her in that final phone call hook my gut, and with a forced breath I try to steady myself. God, I said some horrible things.
“What’s got you?” Del says, leaning on the counter across from me. It’s hard to use your bartender as your personal shrink if she’s also your bratty little sister.
“Briggs is back.” The words fall out, her name sharp on my tongue. Del’s jaw goes slack.
“No way.” My sister’s eyes light up and not in the way that benefits me. Del loved Briggs almost as much as I did.
“Yeah.” I twist my glass, studying the bubbles as they work their way to the surface and pop. I’m not sure how much to tell her beyond that until the words actually surface like the bubbles in my glass. “She has a daughter. A ten-year-old daughter. Maybe nine.”
Del meets my gaze, my young and rebellious little sister doesn’t take long to calculate it in her head before surprise shifts all her features to the outer edges of her face.
“No way.” Del smacks my arm and a grin cuts her face and she squeals. I shift uncomfortably on my stool at her reaction. This isn’t how we’re reacting here. Del jumps up and down and grabs my hands. A female gesture I’ll never understand. Why do girls jump when they’re excited?
“I’m an Auntie?” Del’s expression is pure and big and...well, shit. I never thought of that. I’m too concerned about myself to realize this isn’t affecting me and Briggs—but my entire family.
“I dunno, Del. I sort of bailed before I could find out if she was mine. But my god, she looks like me. Kinda like you, too.”
Del has the same color and texture to her hair. Long deep brown strands with a touch of auburn. Big all absorbing eyes and thick bushy brows.
“You bailed?” Del’s expression falls into one I’m very familiar with. The Xan just did something stupid grimace.
“I panicked. She showed up out of nowhere. I didn’t know what to say. I might have a kid, for fuck’s sake. And she kept it from me...for ten years.”
“I suppose that would be a lot to take in.” Del leans on the bar and taps her long fake nails on the wood.
“You suppose?” I mock her and she whips me with her towel. Maybe my sister is fine as a bartender shrink after all. I feel more relaxed despite my unsettled confusion.
“You’re going to go back and talk to her right? You’re going to be a man about this I hope.” Del busies herself wiping down the pop gun and her words sting. They cut deep because I know what they mean, I know where they come from.
“I’m not Dad, Delilah. You know that.”
She wears a hopeful smile, but her eyes betray her. She doesn’t quite believe me. I did stumble in here at ten am still drunk from the night before. That’s something Jason would do.
My phone buzzes and I check it, it’s too late for Ms. Uptight to be calling. It’s a text message.
Unknown: It’s Briggs. We need to talk.
I breathe through the spike of adrenaline I get from reading her name, struggling to wrangle my emotions back into their holding cells. My fingers shake while I respond.
Me: Meet at our spot in fifteen.
I slide off my stool and throw a fifty-dollar bill on the counter while scanning the cooler behind my sister.
“Well, I’m going in. I think a Sixer is going to be a requirement for this conversation.” I shake my head at the giddiness that explodes across Del’s face. She claps her hands together in excitement before grabbing me a six pack of my go to beer.
She takes my fifty and I walk out the door before she can get my change. Or say anything else to me about our father.
#
Lucas’ truck is already parked on the side of the road. I stop right behind it and grip the steering wheel with shaking hands. I’ve had these moments before. Moments when I know at a soul level that my life’s about to change forever but when I crush my eyes shut all I see is smoke. Thick lung burning smoke, from when my crew stumbled out of the Creston Ridge Fire and even before I noticed we were one man short I had the same feeling. The dizzying, body numbing, mind bending realization that things were different.