If I had stopped that night, would Aubrey still be alive?
The question kept circling in his brain, scraping against his thoughts like a rusty nail.
Eve stirred, and her eyelids fluttered open. She looked up at him, and her lips curved in a slow smile. “Good morning.”
He trailed a finger down the softness of her cheek, then giving in to the love he felt for her, he bent his head and kissed her.
Her arms moved to encircle his neck. “All mine.” When he started to pull back, she tightened her hold and shook her head. “I’m not letting you go.”
The clear blue of her eyes told him she wasn’t referring to their current position.
“Let’s get dressed,” he told her. “Then we’ll talk.”
“Let’s talk now.”
Naked and with that piercing gaze fixed on him, Anson felt more exposed than he’d ever felt in his life. This woman wasn’t one he could push aside.
Because she loves me.
The irony that she’d become the best part of his life at the worst possible time wasn’t lost on him.
“C’mon, Anson, what’s the rush? Just lay your head next to mine for a few more minutes.”
Her soft voice wrapped around his heart. Though he knew it would only be postponing the inevitable, he did as she asked.
Grabbing the sheet, she pulled it over him, then took his hand and linked their fingers, sighing in contentment. “This,” she murmured, “is what I like.”
Having her next to him, supporting him, loving him, was what he liked. Feeling the comfort of her touch steadied him even as a wave of sadness washed over him.
“You say you trust me.” Eve spoke in a low, soothing tone. “So share with me your deepest fears.”
“It’s better if—”
“If you tell me,” Eve finished.
He swallowed hard. “I still think, still worry, that if I had stopped, I could have prevented what happened to her. That doesn’t make me a good man, Eve. You…you deserve the best.”
The pronouncement hung in the air for several long seconds.
Rolling to her side, Eve faced him. There were so many things she could have said, beginning with reminding him of all the points she’d made last night. She remained silent.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t push me away.” She kept her gaze steady on his. “You and I can handle anything as long as we’re together. Which means no shutting each other out.”
He stared at her for a long time, then offered a reluctant nod. “Okay.”
She gave him a swift kiss. “I need more coffee.”
“I need another kiss.”
Eve grinned and looped her arms around his neck. “Now that’s something I can get behind.”
* * *
Over coffee, Eve mentioned to Anson that one of her English teachers in college had encouraged students to journal their feelings as a way to free their thoughts. They took a few minutes to do some online research on the topic.
They read that writing down the details about a particular event was a good way to free buried memories. Anson jotted everything he could recall from that night.