Roger
The boardroom of my company is all abuzz. It’s hard to believe that a year ago, I was hatching a plan they were all hesitant to go along with. Now, they’re all glad they trusted me.
Even Mr. Whiny-kins seems happy. I’ve also since re-learned his name. It’s Theodore. But, in my book, Mr. Whiny-kins is actually a better name, so that’s what I still call him in my head. And, once at a company party, I called him that to his face.
“Fabulous,” Ellen declares from her seat at the table. She, like the rest of the board, has just finished reviewing the proposal packets I gave them. “Just fabulous, Roger.”
She leads the room in a round of applause.
“I like the new logo,” says Lou. He holds up the proposal packet in front of him, which, like the others, features the new, much more restrained logo forExposé Extra,the crown jewel of Blake Western’s tabloid empire.
Except now it’s the crown jewel tomytabloid empire.
“Truthfully,” Lou continues, his eyes wide and his teeth gleaming, “when you convinced us to sign off on your crazy plan to unload all those properties a year ago, I had a few guesses as to what you were up to. Never in a million years did I think you were going to get us into the tabloid business!”
More likereformthe tabloid business. At least a little.
With the money I made via the ‘Plan’ I got my board to sign off on without knowing any details, and with Western feeling the sting of his court loss, I was able to purchase his entire media enterprise. It took a while to work out all the details, but now,Exposé Extrabelongs to me.
And, along with the main rag came two smaller sister publications, a lucrative website, various proprietary advertising software, and a few other bells and whistles even I haven’t gone over entirely.
Along with the purchase, I made a promise. The days of printing smut and humiliating people were done. You should’ve seen the gift baskets every millionaire and celebrity in the tri-state area sent me after I madethatannouncement.
My company’s stock soared when news of the acquisition got out, which, in turn, has put me in a position to tie up one last loose end.
“Jare! Bro!” I declare as Jared Barron appears at the door of the conference room. He hesitates, but Gerald ushers him inside.
Jared looks like a dog that just got caught peeing inside the house.
“Hello, Roger,” he says solemnly without making eye contact with me. “Hello, everyone,” he intones to the board.
“C’mon, man,” I say jocularly, “have a seat.”
I pull the empty office chair beside me out from the table. Jared slinks into it, trying to wheel as far from me as possible. I grab the armrest and wheel him right back next to me. “Where ya goin’, bud? We’re pals, aren’t we?”
I throw my arm around his shoulders. I feel him tense, and it makes me giddy. To his credit, he doesn’t flinch outright.
His eyes flick to the packets in front of my board members.
“Oh!” I say, “did you hear I bought a magazine? I know... even I’m. like,what?”
I laugh, then reach under the table and pull something from my briefcase. “Here, Jared. Because you’re a special friend, you get an advance copy of our first issue coming out tomorrow!” I hold up the cover. The picture accompanying the front-page headline shows three chastened faces I know Jared recognizes.
“Hey, Jare, bro? Aren’t these guys your former lawyers? Says here they got busted for fraud. Aw, bad luck, bro.”
With athwack,I slap the paper down in front of him. Jared stares at it, looking like he’s about to be sick.
This is even more fun than I thought it would be.
Jared doesn’t say anything for a while. I let the silence drag on. I could watch him wallow in self-pity all day long. Eventually, when I feel my board getting antsy, I whisper to Jared. “So… what’re you doing here, bud?”
“You know why I’m here,” he responds through gritted teeth.
“Do I?” I look over at Gerald. “Gerald? Do I know why Jare’ here, is here?”
“I think you do,” Gerald says with a smirk, enjoying the game as well.
“Lou?” I ask. “Do you know what he’s doing here?”