"Is that what you want?" he asks. "A family?"
"Yeah, it's all I want," I say. "I know maybe that's old-fashioned. I never thought of myself as having a career. I would work. Oh, I'm good at working. I've worked at the gas station for a lot of years, and I can help do basically anything. I could work at a grocery store. I could work at anything. What seems like the best job in the world is being a mom, being a homemaker, being a wife."
"I don't think that sounds old-fashioned. I think it's kind of sweet."
"It's just I never had that," I say. "I feel like I want a chance for a do-over. And I know I wouldn't be the child in that scenario, but I want to have a baby one day and I want to show that little one what it's like to feel safe and to have a family that loves her and a mom who's always there." I swallow. "Sorry. It's just my mom left when I was young and my dad, well, that's probably what sent him drinking. All that to say, I'd love a chance to raise a child, to be a mom, a mom who’s there like your mom was."
Jake nods. "Yeah, my mom’s a good one. She always worked because she had to, and she did her best to take care of me. I'd go to daycare sometimes. It would be with babysitters in town, but she made sure there was warm food on the table every night and clean clothes before I went to school. And I think it's really beautiful that you want to do that for someone else."
"Do you want a family?" I ask him.
He nods. "Yeah," he says. "I just..." He shakes his head, that dark look in his eyes again.
"What?” I ask.
"I've been through hell, Faith. Sometimes I wonder if I'm good enough. What if something happened to me? What if..."
"But it's worth it," I say. "The chance to fall in love? That's a risk anyways. Everything is a risk," I say to him, "but that doesn't mean you don't try, that you don't give yourself over to the possibility of having your dreams come true."
"Come here," he says. "You getting so sentimental makes me hard."
"Yeah?" I say with a laugh, running my hand over his shaft. "You are hard."
"Are you wet?" he asks me.
I nod. "I guess you talking about getting married, having a family," I laugh, "I guess it makes me kind of horny."
"Good," he says. "I like that. I like you."
"You do?" I ask him as he moves on top of me, his cock at my belly. He pushes my knees apart, moving himself toward my center.
"I love you," he says. "Not just like."
My breath catches, my emotions caught in my throat. "Jake," I say, "don't say things you don't mean."
"But I do," he says. "I do love you, Faith. I want you to know that before I fill you up with my thick cock. I want you to know that before I make you cry out, screaming my name again. I want you to know I love you, not because you're no longer a virgin. I love you because you're mine."
I blink away tears, wrapping my arms around his neck, burying my face in his body. "I love you too," I say, my voice cracking. "I love you so much, a man I just met." I look up at him. "Oh, Jake," I say, "I don't want this fairy tale to end. Promise me it won't."
"I promise," he says. "I'll make sure of that." He moves inside of me, his cock inching in deeper and deeper, and I call out. Crying his name, my fingernails grinding against his skin because it hurts. It does. And then, oh God. It's like the world has cracked open. Life has appeared for the first time. I am alive in a way I have never been before as he takes me to the edge and back, as he makes me his for real. It's not just words. It’s a promise I know this man will keep. He is a good man. He is my man.
"Oh God," I moan as he fills me up, beginning to thrust against me deeper and deeper. He takes my hands in his, lacing our fingers together, pinning our hands over my head and I'm exposed, vulnerable, laying it all out there. And I want him to take me, and he does. And somehow, it's better than I ever imagined.
My fantasies did not live up to reality because this is bigger. This is vivid. This is real.
13
JAKE
After, I lay with Faith in my arms, the afternoon sun filtered through my window. "You like it here?" I ask her.
"Yeah, I do. It's beautiful."
“You didn't even see my cabin," I say. "I carried you right to the bedroom and undressed you before I even showed you the place."