“I was right,” he says. “You’re a fucking idiot.”
I shoot him a dark glare, not in the mood to go through it all again.
“If you had Willow, and I’m using past tense because you most probably already fucked things up beyond recognition, you wouldn’t wake up alone should anything happen to me. If you try with Willow and the worst happens, I’ll still be there. Living like a hermit won’t save you from the pain, it will only amplify the fear of losing the one person you allow into your life.”
“So you’re telling me the more people I allow into my life, the less I’ll fear losing them? How does that make any sense?”
“You don’t fear losing them, Marcus. You fear being alone. The fucked up thing? You’re already alone.” Jaxson turns towards me and takes hold of my shoulder. “Stop shutting people out. Let the other guys in. Let Willow in. I promise you the fear will go away.”
“It’s easier said than done. I’ve been shutting people out for so long, it’s not going to change overnight.”
Hell, I don’t even know where to start.
“It’s going to take time. You can start by getting your ass over to Willow’s place and telling her you’re an idiot. At least get your friendship with her back on track. After that, take it one day at a time. Slowly start spending more time with the guys. You don’t have to rush it.”
I nod so he’ll see I understand. I need to think about it all first.
“I better get back to work.”
I take hold of his arm to hold him back. “Thanks for being the voice of reason when I fuck things up.”
“You would do the same for me.”
I watch Jaxson leave the office before I go back to staring out the window.
Rushing over to Willow’s and kissing the living hell out of her will only scare her off. I need to ease her into the idea of having a relationship with me.
I’m filled with excitement and horror at making a move on her. What Jaxson said makes sense, but I’m still scared shitless.
“Grow a pair!” I snap at myself.
888
WILLOW
“I didn’t think it would be this hard.”
I’ve been talking to Evie every day since Sunday. We’ve both had a rough couple of days. She didn’t get the job, and because she was sick and missed her shifts last weekend, she got fired from her waitressing job.
“You’re doing the right thing. Give Marcus time to think. Let him come to you.”
“What if he doesn’t come tonight?”
“Then at least you’ll know where you stand with him. I know it sounds harsh, but if that’s the case, cut your losses. You can’t keep hoping.”
If he doesn’t come for our usual dinner, my heart’s going to break into pieces.
“How’s the job hunting going?” I change the subject because talking about Marcus is only making the anxiety grow.
“I got another waitressing job, but the pay is shitty.”
“At least it’s something,” I try to encourage her.
“Yeah, but it still sucks. Why is it so hard to find a decent job? You need experience to qualify for a position, but no one is willing to give you a chance to get that experience.”
“That’s why I haven’t left the company I’m at. I know you don’t want to hear it, but why don’t you call Rhett? He’ll give you a job in a heartbeat.”
“Would you work for Marcus?” she snaps.