“That’s fine. And if you’d like, I could come earlier and cook dinner for you.”
I eat out of a paper bag almost every night. It gets old. “I’d love that if Staci and Shane won’t have a problem with you being out that late on a school night?”
“Mom and Dad won’t mind since it’ll be for schoolwork. They trust you to help me bring up my grade. They understand you’re busy with work so they won’t mind me being here late if that’s what it takes.”
I’ve spent a lot of time considering what Owen and River would do if I touched Claud but gauging how Staci and Shane might handle the situation is a little more difficult. They’ve told me many times they think of me like another son, but I in no way believe they would approve of the thoughts I’m having about their daughter.
“Not much has happened with me. What about you?”
Claudia shrugs. “Nothing really. Just school.”
I want to know what’s been going on in her life as well. But what I really want to know is if she’s been going out on dates. “Prom is coming up soon.”
“It’s two weeks away.”
“Who’s the lucky boy who gets to take you?” I put on my poker face so she doesn’t see me react, one way or the other.
“I don’t have a date.”
Good girl. That’s the answer I was hoping to hear. “I’m certain it’s not because you haven’t been begged.”
“I don’t know anything about being begged but I’ve been asked by a few guys.”
And I guarantee not a one of them would treat her as well as I would if given the opportunity. “How many asked?”
“Seven.”
I’m surprised the number isn’t higher. “That’s more than a few.”
“Doesn’t matter. None of them is the one I want.”
The one I want.Is she talking about me? My gut says yes, but it doesn’t matter. Although she’s two months closer to being eighteen, we still can’t have this conversation.
“What are you going to do about a date?”
“I’ll probably go with Oscar. He doesn’t have a date either.”
I know him. Lanky little guy who lives down the street from Claudia. He used to come around and play with us a little bit when we were younger. He’s one of the few guys I’d trust to escort her and not try anything. “Oscar is a good choice.”
“He’s a goodsecondchoice.” Claudia slides her hand across the table and touches the tips of her fingers to mine. “My first choice would be you. It’s always been you.”
I watch her fingers entwine with mine—and know without a shadow of a doubt that I should pull away—but I don’t. I can’t. I like the feel of her skin against mine too much to break the contact between us.
“Owen and River never treated me like you did. You were always kind… considerate… patient. I don’t remember a time when you didn’t seem completely aware of my feelings. You put me ahead of everything else, including yourself. You and I share something different—a very special bond that I think most people never get to experience with another person. It’s as though it has no beginning and no end. It simply exists.”
Owen and River were always concerned with other things but I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel the need to protect Claudia. Always have one eye on her. Keep her close while holding her at a safe distance. As I got older, I thought something must be terribly wrong with me. It wasn’t natural for a kid my age to feel the way I did about someone so much younger. The older I got, the more I distanced myself. But it didn’t help. That girl was always in my head and heart.
I squeeze her fingers and inhale slowly. What I’m about to do is inappropriate. I know it is, yet I can’t stop myself from professing my true feelings. “I’ve always felt it too—a need to take care of you and keep you safe from harm, to make you happy…to love you.”
“What the fuck is going on here?”
Claudia and I jolt at the sound of River’s voice and our hands instantly separate. “What the fuck, River? Don’t you know how to knock?”
“Didn’t think I needed to, you damn pervert.” River shoves my shoulders so hard the dining chair flips backward with me in it. He stands over me, his finger pointed at my face. “Owen is going to kill you, if I don’t first.”
I can’t say anything. I don’t have a defense.
“Whoa.” Claudia dashes to get between us and places her hand against River’s chest. “Calm down.”