“Oh my God, he sounds like a complete fucking asshole.”
She sighs and reaches for her drink. “Got that right.”
I watch her sipping, trying to figure out the expression on her face. It takes me a moment, but I finally place it. “Freya?”
“Hm?”
“Do you still have feelings for him?”
Her eyes dart up to meet mine. She turns away almost immediately, but it’s enough to reveal to me how she really feels.
“You do,” I whisper. “You still love him.”
She shakes her head vehemently. “No, no, don’t be ridiculous.”
“Freya,” I say, leaning across the table and grabbing her hand. “I thought we discussed this already. We can trust each other. You don’t have to feel embarrassed to admit certain things to me. God knows I’ve aired all my dirty laundry to you a thousand times over.”
She frowns. Her beautiful eyes look sadder than I’ve ever seen them. “I just…” Her voice fades away and all she can do is nod slowly.
“Can you tell me why you love him?” I ask.
She chews on her lip for a moment. “Can anyone explain love? It’s not something you can describe. It happens when you least expect it. And it stays with you even though you want it gone. I hate that I feel this way, but it’s there inside me still. I try to kill it… I tried when I moved here. I thought the distance would erase my feelings for him, but I was wrong.”
“Give it time,” I advise. “I know that’s a pretty lame piece of advice, but it’s true. Plus, it’s all I’ve got right now.”
She glances at me, almost nervously for a moment. “Do you love him?”
I lean back in my seat. “Honestly? I haven’t thought about Dane in so long. It makes me think that maybe I never really—”
“No,” Freya says, cutting me off. “I’m not talking about him.”
I blink. “I don’t understand.”
“Anton,” Freya whispers, like he might hear her if she gets too loud. “Do you love him?”
The question takes me by surprise but only because it’s strange to hear the thing I’ve been asking myself for the last twenty-four hours voiced out loud by someone else.
“Well… love is a crazy word.”
I hesitate, realizing just how right she was about explaining certain feelings. Some things just defy logic.
She gives me a knowing smile that’s still sharp around the edges with her own remembered pain. “Circle of trust right here, remember?” she says, waving her arms around the table. “I won’t judge.”
I reach for my own drink this time, feeling a strange fear spreading through my chest. “He… fascinates me.”
“Men like him usually do.”
“Men like him?”
“Strong, powerful, confident. The hormones go wild for that shit.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I nod. “It’s more than that, though.”
She raises her eyebrows. “Tell me.”
“I’m not naïve. I know he’s a bad man and he could do bad things to me. I’ve seen him do bad things to other people. But… before I knew who he was, before everything happened… we had this conversation.” I drag my eyes up to hers. “It was the most amazing hour I’ve ever spent with a man.”
“Yeah?”