“Easy, girl. You gotta eat something, too. When I said drink up, I didn’t mean for you to gulp it down,” I told her, not wanting her to get drunk or sick.
She nodded and wiped the drop of beer that had clung to her lips.
All I could think about was licking it off for her. How plump and smooth her bottom lip felt under my tongue. I had to look away. My food was going to f**king burn.
I had already made the tacos and burritos, so I moved the quesadillas to the platter I had put the others on. There was no way we were going to eat all this. I’d gone overboard, but I wasn’t sure what she liked, and I wanted her to enjoy her meal. My need to watch her eat was quickly feeling like an addiction.
“Everything else is on the table already. Grab me a Corona out of the fridge, and follow me,” I told her, moving to the table with the platter. I headed for the balcony outside. At first, I had disliked this idea, because she’d seen me out here once before on a date, and I didn’t want that image in her head. But the waves and the Gulf breeze made everything seem more intimate. I just hoped she wasn’t thinking about me f**king another woman the whole time we were out here.
“Sit. I’ll fix your plate,” I said.
She nodded and sat on the chair nearest to the door. I could see the surprise in her eyes, and I liked that this wasn’t something she expected. I wanted her thoughts on us. No one else. My past was just that—my past. Besides, if she only knew just who I’d been fantasizing about that night when I’d been on this porch with Anya . . .
I fixed her plate and set it down in front of her. Then I leaned down to her ear so I could smell her, because it was driving me crazy . “Can I get you another drink?” I asked, needing a reason for inhaling her neck.
She shook her head no.
I forced myself to move to the other side of the table. I fixed my plate and looked up at her. “If you hate it, don’t tell me. My ego can’t handle it.”
She took a bite of the enchilada. The flicker in her eyes told me she was pleased. I felt like sighing in relief. I hadn’t f**ked it up. “It’s delicious, and I can’t say I’m surprised,” she told me.
I decided to try it out myself. Grinning, I started eating and watched as she relaxed and took another drink of her beer before eating some more. Each time she took a bite, I fought the urge to stop and watch. It was sick, really. She was just f**king eating. Why was I so completely obsessed with her eating? It had to be the peanut butter’s fault. I wasn’t going to get over that anytime soon.
We ate in silence. I didn’t want to interrupt her, since she looked like she was enjoying herself. When she leaned back and took a long drink from her bottle, then set it down, I knew she was finished.
“I’m sorry about how Nan treated you today,” I told her. It wasn’t enough. Nan owed her an apology, but nothing I could do would get her an apology from Nan.
“How did you know about that?” Blaire asked, shifting nervously in her seat.
“Woods called me. He was warning me that Nan would be asked to leave the next time she was rude to an employee,” I explained. I hated making him look like a damn hero, but it was the truth, and I wasn’t going to add any lies to the ones already between us.
Blaire nodded. She didn’t seem overly impressed, which was good. I didn’t like her having any feelings at all where Woods was concerned.
“She shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. I’ve had a talk with her. She promised me it wouldn’t happen again. But if it does somewhere else, then please come tell me,” I told her, which wasn’t the exact truth. Nan had promised me nothing. But my warning had been enough. I knew that.
Disappointment flashed in Blaire’s eyes, and she stood up. “Thank you. I appreciate the gesture. It was very nice of you. I assure you that I don’t intend to tattle to Woods if Nan is rude to me in the future. He just happened to witness it firsthand today.” She picked up her drink. “Dinner was lovely. Nice to have after a long day at work. Thank you so much.” She wouldn’t look at me as she turned and hurried inside.
Shit. What did I say wrong? I stood up and followed her inside. Tonight was not ending like this. I was going crazy. Blaire had to stop throwing me so completely off my tracks. I did this as an apology because of my ass**le behavior last night and because I wanted to do something for her. Take care of her.
She was washing off her plate in the sink, and the slump in her shoulders broke me.
“Blaire,” I said, caging her body against the counter. Her smell filled my head, and I had to close my eyes to keep from getting light-headed. Fuck, that was good. “This wasn’t an attempt to apologize for Nan. It was an attempt to apologize for me. I’m sorry about last night. I lay in bed all night wishing you were there with me. Wishing I hadn’t pushed you away. I push people away, Blaire. It’s a protective mechanism for me. But I don’t want to push you away.” I didn’t know how else to explain this to her.
She leaned back against me some, and I took that as my green light.
I moved away the hair brushing her shoulder and pressed a kiss to the warm, soft skin there. “Please. Forgive me. One more chance, Blaire. I want this. I want you.”
She let out a deep breath, then turned to face me. Her arms went up and wrapped around my neck. Those beautiful blue eyes of her locked on mine. “I’ll forgive you on one condition,” she said softly.
“OK,” I said. I’d give her f**king anything.
“I want to be with you tonight. No more flirting. No more waiting.”
Not what I had been expecting, but yes. That was what I wanted. “Hell, yes,” I said, and pulled her up against me so I could soak her in. This was it for me.
Blaire was going to be mine after this. I would fight hell for her if I had to.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Kissing had never been my thing. It was something I rarely did. But knowing how pure Blaire’s mouth was and how f**king amazing she tasted made me go a little crazy when my lips touched hers. I couldn’t get enough of her.
I cupped her face and devoured her. My head was screaming at me to slow down. Not to scare her or push her too fast, but God, I couldn’t make my mouth listen. The Corona on her tongue as I slid mine over hers made me hungrier. The taste of beer and lime on Blaire seemed wicked. When she felt the barbell in my tongue, she pulled at the hair at the back of my head and let out a moan.
Fuck, I had to slow this down. I couldn’t take her against the sink. She needed a bed and a lot of foreplay. I didn’t want to hurt her. Never wanted to hurt her. I pulled away from her lips a fraction. I liked feeling her warm breath on my face. “Come with me upstairs. I want to show you my room.” A grin tugged at my lips. “And my bed,” I added.
She nodded, and that’s all I needed. Letting go of her face, I reached for her hand. I was taking her upstairs. There were no rules where Blaire was concerned. She was on a higher plane, above any rules I had when it came to women. I just wanted her.
Pulling her by the hand in my excitement to get back to kissing those lips of hers, I led her up the stairs. Glancing back at her as we reached the second floor, I saw the flush in her cheeks, and I broke. Just one taste, I told myself, then pressed her up against the nearest wall and nibbled her bottom lip before licking it and claiming her mouth again.
She melted into me easily, and I was almost sure I could make it good for her right here. I could get on my knees and kiss between her legs until she screamed my name. But no. No. We were doing this in my bed.
I tore myself away from her and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “One more flight of stairs,” I said, more for myself than for her. Then I took her hand and led her down the hall to the door leading up to my room. I pulled the key out of my pocket. I never left my room unlocked. I liked keeping it private. Knowing no one could go in there unless I wanted them there.
The door swung open, and I stepped back and motioned for Blaire to go on in. The desire to see her in my room around my things and to share it all with her was almost as powerful as my desire to see her on my bed. Naked.
She stopped when she reached the top step and gasped. The view over the water from the floor-to-ceiling windows was what I had fallen in love with as a child.
“This room is why I had my mom buy this house. Even at ten years old, I knew this room was special,” I told her, wrapping my arms around her. I loved that she could see this. That it affected her, too.
“It’s incredible,” she said, with awe in her voice. It was incredible. But having her here with me made it so much more amazing.
“I called my dad that day and told him I’d found a house I wanted to live in. He wired my mother the money, and she bought it. She loved the location, so this is the house we’ve spent our summers in. She has a house of her own in Atlanta, but she prefers it here.”
“I’d never want to leave,” she said.
Smiling, I kissed the soft skin of her ear then whispered, “Ah, but you haven’t seen my cabin in Vail or my flat in Manhattan.” But she would. I wanted to see her there, too.
Sharing my personal life and space with people was something I had always hated and refused to do. But with Blaire, I craved having her be a part of it. Even if all I could do was hold her, I wanted her here tonight.
I turned her toward the king-size bed that sat to the right and covered most of that far wall. “And that’s my bed,” I told her, as I held her h*ps and moved us toward the bed. I could feel Blaire tense. She was nervous. Talking about it and actually standing here in my room, looking at my bed, were two different things. I wanted her more than I wanted my next breath, but I wouldn’t force her. “Blaire, even if all we do is kiss or just lie here and talk, I’m OK with that. I just wanted you up here. Close to me.”
She turned back to look at me. “You don’t mean that. I’ve seen you in action, Rush Finlay. You don’t bring girls to your room and expect to just talk.” Her attempt to sound teasing failed. The uncertainty in her voice sliced through me. She had come up here with me thinking she was just another one of those girls I f**ked and sent home? Shit. How could I get it through to her that this thing with her was more? So much more. That she meant more.
“I don’t bring girls up here at all, Blaire.”
“The first night I came here, you said your bed was full,” she said, frowning at me as if she had caught me in a lie. Damn, she was cute.
“Yeah, because I was sleeping in it. I don’t bring girls to my bedroom. I don’t want meaningless sex tainting this space. I love it here,” I told her honestly. But I’d brought her here. Didn’t she understand what that meant?
“The next morning, a girl was still here. You’d left her in bed, and she came looking for you in her undies,” she said with a tight voice.
Crazy girl. She had no f**king idea what she did to me. Needing to touch her, I slipped my hand under her shirt and caressed the soft skin there. Her small shiver made me smile. “The first room to the right was Grant’s room until our parents divorced. I use it as my bachelor-pad room now. That’s where I take girls. Not here. Never here. You’re my first. Well, I let Henrietta come up here once a week to clean, but I promise there is no hanky-panky going on between us,” I explained, as I grinned down at her.
“Kiss me, please,” she said, then grabbed my shoulders and leaned up to press her mouth against mine without waiting for me to respond.
That had to be the sweetest thing I’d ever heard. Kiss me, please. Fuck, this girl was gonna ruin me. I wanted her to belong to me. Her body to know only me. Completely.
Pushing her back, I laid her down on the bed and pushed her legs apart so I could settle between them without breaking the sweetest damn kiss I’d ever had. Blaire grabbed my shirt in her small fists as if she wanted to rip it off my body. If my girl wanted her hands on my chest, I’d make that a hell of a lot easier on her.
I pulled away from her long enough to jerk my shirt over my head and toss it before taking her mouth again. I could kiss her mouth for f**king hours. I had to grab handfuls of the covers to keep from stripping her nak*d while I let her explore. Each touch from her hands got more demanding and brave. She started out by running her hands up my arms, her touch almost as soft as a feather. But she was running them over my chest now like she couldn’t get enough. When her thumbs rubbed my ni**les, I swear to God I almost lost my shit.
I wanted to touch ni**les, too. Her hard little pink ni**les. I tore my mouth away from hers and unbuttoned the shirt she was wearing and pushed it back. I didn’t have the patience to take it off. I needed her in my mouth. Now. When I jerked her bra down, both full, luscious tits fell free from their confines, and I feasted like a starving man. I licked them just to hear her moan and whimper, then I sucked hard. She bucked against me.
She hadn’t been ready for that yet, and I trembled and fought to catch my breath when she cried out in pleasure from feeling my c**k pressed against her needy pu**y. She would be swollen and hot. I wanted to taste it. She’d tasted so sweet on my finger. I unzipped her skirt and pulled it and her panties down while keeping my eyes on her face. If she got nervous, I had to slow down. I wasn’t going to frighten her. Her mouth fell open as she breathed hard and watched me. The complete trust in her eyes undid me. I wanted it all off.