We walk down the hallway together, heading for the dining room. As part of the wedding preparations, the bride and the groom decided to specify different times when they’d eat breakfast. They’re both serious about not seeing each other before the wedding.
A thought strikes me, hitting with the force of violence.
Will it be the same for Becca and me? Will we make sure not to see each other before the wedding?
“Ben?” Alex stops at the door, head tilted. “Are you all right?”
I feign a smirk. He’s my best goddamn friend.
I’m his best man.
And here I am, unable to stop – even for a second – the relentless flow of obsession. It all comes back to Becca every single time.
Her smile and shy flushed cheeks and how she looked when I leaned in to kiss her. And the way she looked when I learned her true name.
“I’m fine,” I say after a too-long pause. “Don’t worry about me. This is your big day.”
He moves even closer. It’s just us in the hallway, outside the dining room. I can hear voices raised behind, Becca’s parents laughing, another voice rising…my insides twist.
It’s her.
She’s right in there, my woman, the woman I can never touch. The woman I need to do my best to forget.
“It’s all right, Ben,” Alex says. “We can talk if something’s up.”
I almost grit my teeth but stop myself at the last second. Even the fact I forcibly stop the movement makes me feel like a traitor.
I don’t want to give the game away to let him know something’s going on.
It’s sneaking-around crap, and I want to stop.
But what good would it do, telling him I almost kissed his little sister? Telling him that on his wedding day?
“Nothing’s up,” I tell him. “I’m happy for you, Alex. Really. I can see how much you and Tiffany love each other. Hell, anybody could see that.”
Alex looks at me closely, making me wonder if he believes me, and then he nods, a smile touching his lips.
“It’ll be you next.”
I make a pfft noise, trying my best to grin. He doesn’t know that the only woman who’s ever made me feel that way, close to that way, is his little sister.
“Yeah, we’ll see. Let’s eat.”
We walk into the vast dining hall, with tables dotted all over the place. The laughter and the voices come from a table in the far corner. The groomsmen and Alex’s family sit around it.
I walk by Alex’s side, trying to stop the pounding in my heart when I see her.
She hasn’t changed into her dress yet, but she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Her purple hoodie shows the outline of her perfect breasts, the breasts that make my hands twitch with the desire to massage them, to push them together…the breasts that are going to feed our children one day.
Stop, stop.
But I can’t, not as my gaze moves over the messiness of her hair. Her eyes flit to me, secrets under her eyelashes. She has those cute red spots on her cheeks again.
Suddenly, I imagine walking over with a casual smile, laying my hand on her shoulder, letting the table – the world – know she belongs to me.
“June, can you pass the butter?”
June.