She raised me to be independent, capable of taking care of myself. And I am capable. I graduated a year early with a degree in business. I spend my days keeping Dominic's office from falling into chaos. I'm good at it. I don't second guess myself or hesitate to make decisions. But I ache for something more than my mom had. She was single her whole life and she was happy that way. I'm not built the same. I want a family and love.
Maybe I have lost my mind.
In my dreams, he's started telling me that he loves me. He tries to get me pregnant.
I'm a twenty-two-year-old virgin, but the things my mind conjures up each night make my entire body ache with need like I've never felt before. Even now, I feel the press of his fingers to my skin, smell the spicy, all-male scent that drives me crazy in my dreams. I hear his voice as if it still echoes in the corners of my room. The painful rush of desire, the crushing need to feel more of him, and the utter sense of euphoria from my dreams linger.
I place my fingertips over the side of my neck, where part of me—the not quite awake, not quite sleeping part—still whispers that his mark should be. That wild, defiant part refuses to believe my attraction to him is completely one-sided. That part desperately wants to believe the softness in his gaze when he looks at me is reserved just for me. That the way his eyes seem to linger on me is evidence that he wants me too.
But he hasn't made a move. If anything, it's been the complete opposite. When I first started working for him, he stopped by my office all the time to talk, see how things were going, or ask me random questions. He would call me on weekends or text me random questions. We were friends, quickly on our way to becoming more…or so I thought. Two months ago, I thought he was going to kiss me when we were working late one night.
He tucked my hair behind my hair, leaned in…I did too. I felt the heat of his body searing into me. Smelled his incredible scent. Heard the way his breath rasped in his throat before spilling across my lips. I whispered his name, my heart pounding like a drum. And then…nothing.
He pulled away.
Five minutes later, he rushed out like he couldn't wait to get away from me.
Everything changed between us after that.
What were once long, drawn out conversations have become short and clipped, full of frustration. He looks angry when he sees me, like I've done something wrong, but I don't know what. I've started trying to avoid him simply because seeing him makes my heart ache.
I want him so badly. I think he knows how much I like him. As hard as I try to hide it, I don't think I'm doing a very good job of it.
He clearly doesn't return the feeling.
Part of me still refuses to believe that. Despite all evidence to the contrary, part of me still thinks he wants me too. That he almost kissed me because he feels the pull between us too.
The other part has already written up my resignation.
I'm just trying to find the courage to turn it in. I don't want to do it. I love working with Dominic. He's smart, driven, and compassionate. He could be a billionaire if he wanted, but he gives most of his fortune to various charities, saying they need it more than he does. Even though he hates being the center of attention, he'll smile for the camera all day long if it means he gets to talk about the causes that matter to him or the software he develops to make life easier for nonprofits and small businesses.
He's gorgeous, but he's oblivious to it. I've never met anyone with a body like his. I thought they only existed in movies and romance novels, but no. He's built like a god. His body is solid steel that stretches the seams of his clothes to capacity. He's powerful, strong…and so damn sweet. He doesn't take crap from anyone and can be bossy as hell sometimes. He's also stubborn and never follows anyone's rules. But he's never mean or cruel. He's never anything less than an amazing boss and a kind, compassionate man.
I think I fell in love with him the moment he asked me about my favorite charity during my interview, and then let me ramble on for an hour about the homeless shelter my mom and I lived at when I was a baby. I volunteered there three times a week through my teen years, trying to give something back to the people who were there for my mom and me when no one else was. When I told Dominic about living there when I was a baby, he immediately wrote a check and dropped it in the mail.
I love the intelligence that blazes in his eyes when he listens to his software development team update him on their progress, and the way his lips tilt into a mischievous smirk when he's up to something. I love the way he mutters under his breath when he's irritated, and how he could ramble on all day about how we aren't doing enough as a society to care for our most vulnerable populations. I love how nerdy hot he is when he's wearing his glasses…which he loses almost daily.
But I don't think I can keep working for him when I spend every night fantasizing about him. When all I want is for him to wrap me up in those strong arms and tell me that he's crazy about me too. That can't be healthy or normal. It's been months. I need to move on and get over my crush. And there's no way I can do that when I spend every day two doors away from him, just waiting for him to sweep in and tell me that he feels the same way I do.
If he did, he would have made a move by now, given me some hint that I'm not crazy. He hasn't. He hasn't even called me once unless it was for business since the night I thought he was going to kiss me. He simply doesn't feel the same.
I need to accept that and move on. Even though it's going to break my heart to leave, I think I have to do it. It's the only way I'll ever stand a chance of getting over him.
"Today," I vow, kicking my feet to free myself from my twisted sheets. "I'm turning in my resignation today."
"Are you insane?" Liberty Connor, my best friend and fellow employee at Alessi Technology Inc., blurts out when I share the news while we're huddled together in the breakroom. "You can't quit!"
"Shh," I hiss, quickly glancing around to make sure no one heard her. No one else is around, thank God. Everyone has cleared out of the breakroom, headed off to start whatever projects Dominic has them working on today. The last thing I want is for everyone to know before I can tell Dominic myself. Even if he doesn
't feel the same way I do, he's been an incredible boss. I don't want to leave on bad terms.
"Seriously, Summer," Liberty says, her hazel eyes wide with shock. She brushes her long blonde hair away from her face, pulling it up into a quick ponytail. "What's the problem? You love it here. You can't quit."
"I do love it here," I mumble, fighting not to cry.
"Then why are you leaving?"
I shrug a shoulder, reluctant to tell her that I'm head over heels in love with our boss. I've kept it to myself out of sheer self-preservation. Liberty is a sweetheart and would never say a word about it, but some things are too private, too embarrassing. I don't want her to look at me with pity in her eyes. It's such a damn cliché, falling for your older, hotter boss. I did it anyway.