“You don’t think Max…”
“He would never break up the sanctity of marriage, but it doesn’t mean she’s not the bored housewife type who’s trying to distract him with her beauty. Little does she know, you have your own yummy nummy that has you all confused.”
Thoughts of Dex bombarded her. She was so confused. “I’ll talk to him tonight.”
To say he understood Kalilah’s position a year ago would be an understatement. He more than understood it. He was living it. It was hard being in love with someone who was still trying to understand herself. There were major differences. Yes Nick had jacked up self-esteem, but he knew he wanted to be with Kalilah. Cayla didn’t have any such conviction. She’d repeatedly tried to put him on the back burner in favor of a black guy. Part of him still feared she would toss his ass quickly if a viable man came into play.
Also, Kalilah had to bond with Nick to get sex. Dex could get all the sex he wanted and a fraction of the bonding. Cayla tried to amp up their intimacy, but he kept blocking it. He didn’t want to cuddle with a woman that didn’t see him as her boyfriend. He took a deep breath while he waited for Cayla.
She’d called and said she was on the way to visit him. He knew that was code for sex, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about it now. Especially with the clock officially ticking. The show was his. He had to leave in two months. He just needed to decide if he was moving to East or West and he couldn’t make that decision with unknown variables like Cayla.
“Hey Dex,” she greeted from behind him. He turned from the stove; he’d just finished making beef stew. “That smells incredible.”
Her smile was brilliant and she’s as beautiful as ever. His chest constricted. He couldn’t sit in limbo any longer, but he knew she would overreact. She hugged him, but he couldn’t put his all into hugging her back. Too distracting. He would want to make love to her and he couldn’t lose focus right now.
He shrugged out of the hug, and the confusion in her eyes made his chest ache. He’s the last person to ever hurt her, but he didn’t think she’d believe him.
“Cayla, have a seat. We need to talk.” Dex could see the tension in her spine, eyes, and lips. He hadn’t said anything yet, and she already had an attitude. “A few weeks ago, I was contacted by an agent. She wanted to make me a food star. She came to visit and loved my food. A week later she told me she was in negotiations for a show. If picked up, I would need to move to California or New York. She called me a few days ago to tell me I got it.”
Dex wanted her to be as excited as he was when he’d gotten the call. He wanted her to be thrilled with him. Deep down he knew he’d get the opposite. He continued anyway.
“Now, I have to give Izzie an answer soon since I have to report in two months.”
Cayla sighed deep; anger simmered in her irises. “Good for you. Why are you telling me?”
Dex refrained from pointing out that her statement wasn’t congratulatory at all. “I need to know… what are we doing?” Dex had seen that look on her face before. She was about to say or do something irrational and piss him off. He steadied himself for impact.
“We are not doing anything, Dex.” There was defiance in her bones and hurt in her eyes. “You wanted to prove you could get me. You had me, now move on to your next station. You don’t have to give me an explanation. Feel free to move again.”
Dex’s gripped the table, felt his anger rising but tried to remain diplomatic. “Is that what you think I did? Fuck you for fun until it was time to move on to something else?”
Cayla shrugged. “Well, you haven’t been known for relationships.”
“Is that what you want? A relationship? Are you now willing to date, love, and marry a white man?”
She froze. Her mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. Dex ignored the stab of pain. It was self-inflicted after all. She’d told him from day one she didn’t want his love. It didn’t mean it hurt less.
“You’re an asshole.”
That’s right-deflect into anger.
“Why? For asking you another question you don’t know how to answer. This has been
our issue from day one. You don’t know what you want. I tried to do the dating thing, but you tell me it’s just sex. Then, you get upset when I act accordingly. Now, I ask if you again if want a relationship, you don’t have an answer and decide to call me an asshole.”
Cayla jumps up. “Well, let me be clear. Have fun on your new show. Don’t expect to have any more sex with me.”
She was gone in a flash, but Dex didn’t have the energy to chase her. This was his fault after all. He wanted her to the point of lunacy. He tried to make things his way instead of following her wishes and leaving her alone. Well, for the sake of his heart and sanity, he vowed to give her exactly what she wanted.
He pulled out his phone, scrolled through his contacts, and dialed. “Hey, Izzie. Sign me up for California.”
Maybe sunshine and beaches would cure a broken heart.
Chapter 26
“I know I said we are true friends, but why are we here...” Felix asked looking around the restaurant. His hair was still sleep-roused and his clothes ultra-casual. “…getting drinks at 11 PM? Damn, I was comfortable.”
Cayla gave him a half smile. It had been three weeks since Dex had spoken to her. She tried the ignoring game, but he was better – a fucking Jedi master. His skills were evident at Kalilah’s birthday party. He’d hit her with the same casual hello reserved for strangers and acquaintances, and kept it pushing. No sorry, no lingering looks, no can we talk, nothing.