CHAPTER 4
When I wake, he’s gone.
The house feels still. I don’t quite understand it at first. For the last few days I’ve barely sensed his presence, but now that he’s gone it’s like a void.
I make breakfast for myself and the girls, bacon and eggs, the aroma drifting slowly up the stairs, and one by one they join me.
Harpy is first. She sneaks into the kitchen like a ninja and makes me jump out of my skin as she giggles, then she attaches to my leg like a limpet, and for the next few minutes I hobble around the kitchen, laying the table as she punctuates the quiet with sounds of angelic delight.
Willow comes next, yawning and stretching and collecting her iPad before settling down to watch something inappropriate for Harper until I make her change it and she groans and smiles.
Last is Thea who steps into the kitchen quietly and stops at the door before finding my eye.
‘He’s gone, hasn’t he,’ she says. It’s not a question. She feels it too.
Willow blinks and looks up as Harpy munches, and then as I don’t respond she glances up too.
‘He had to go into work,’ I say, plating up a roll that’s leaking egg and grease for Thea and sliding it toward her.
‘How long?’ she asks.
‘Three days,’ I smile.
‘He means a week, maybe two,’ she says, her face emotionless.
I open my mouth to speak, and then find Willow’s eyes, and she nods in confirmation as Harpy’s bottom lip begins to wobble.
‘He didn’t say goodbye?’ says Willow, frowning.
‘He never does,’ says Thea as Harper hops down and runs to hug me, her oldest sister turning on her heel and walking straight back out.
‘He said it was something urgent,’ I call after her, but she’s already halfway up the stairs.
I’m conflicted. I feel like I made a tiny breakthrough with Thea last night, and yet this morning she’s taken two steps back, and I don’t know if I should feel angry at her dad or if this is just normal. This, combined with him opening up to me, even if it was just a few words, make me fee-
I realise both Harper and Willow are staring up at me, and I pull myself together.
‘It’s okay,’ I say to them. ‘We can have some fun, just us girls.’
Willow nods, hesitantly at first, then stoically. ‘We could eat chocolate?’
I laugh, the tension in my muscles dissipating as she takes advantage of the situation. ‘Maybe.’
‘For breakfast?’ she says, her head cocked, pushing her luck.
‘How about a movie night?’ I say.
Harper looks up. ‘With me?’
I grin down at her. ‘With you too. We could stay up late, wear our pyjamas, eat popcorn and watch a movie.’
Harper’s eyes are now as round as plates as Willow grins with mischief, but my heart aches for Thea and for a moment my eyes wander back to the stairs.
‘Come on,’ I say, breathing out. ‘Eat up, and let’s get you to school.’
*
I slam back another beer and close my eyes as the thumping bass line grates at my soul. This bar is dull and colourless, and the music is trash.