‘Texting,’ she says, deadpan. ‘That’s so hot. Maybe he’ll send you an eggplant emoji soon.’
‘Shut up,’ I say. ‘He’s nice.’
‘Nice,’ she quotes, her voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘Every guy wants to be called nice. How was the sex last night? It was nice.’
‘Stop it. He’s sweet, and-‘
‘He hasn’t asked you out yet,’ she interrupts. ‘Move on. So what did you say? When Mr Ledger caught you?’ she says.
I take an exasperated breath. ‘I said something about it being hot, and that I didn’t have a costume, and then I said… that he could watch me if he wanted.’
Flick roars with laughter again. ‘Oh my goodness, Mackenzie. Thank you. Thank you for this.’
‘But what do I do?’ I wail, trying to keep my voice down.
‘Probably just bend over the next time you see him,’ she laughs. ‘He’ll handle the rest.’
‘Don’t, this is bad.’
‘Yeah, you’re either fired, or you have a job for life. What about the wife? Is she a dragon?’
‘He’s a widow.’
‘Shit, Mackenzie. You struck gold.’
‘You are fucked in the head.’
‘Not as much you’re going to get fucked in the ass,’ she wails.
‘Ew, no,’ I cry, but I am a wreck, laughter shaking my body as I try to remain angry. ‘Seriously, Felicity. What do I do?’
I wait as I hear her take several deep breaths. ‘Listen,’ she says. ‘There’s nothing you can or should do. Just carry on. Don’t mention it. Don’t refer to it. Don’t apologise. Do not act as though anything is wrong.’
‘I should do nothing? That’s your advice? That’s what you’re telling me.’
‘No,’ she says. ‘There’s one more thing, and it’s vital if you’re going to get out of this unscathed.’
‘What? What do I do?’
‘You need to send me that picture.’
I go silent. ‘Fuck you, Flick.’
‘Seriously, right now. I am so horny and I need to know if this guy is worth it.’
‘Go fuck yourself.’
‘I am trying,’ she says. ‘Just do it. Don’t even think about it.’
‘I’m going.’
‘And I need to come,’ she wails. ‘Please, Mackenzie.’
‘I love you,’ I say.
‘I love you tooooo,’ she wails.
I tap to end the call, flushed and feeling better. I hate her, and I love her more than life itself.