And then I see the rolling pin.
Sitting on one of the higher shelves, peeking out slightly from where it’s sat unused for the past year, beckoning to me.
Chewing my lower lip for a moment, I tell myself to be brave, to surprise him and maybe show him the adventurous side he’s been dying to see.
I walk over and retrieve the thin, ceramic rolling pin from its shelf, slip it into the waistband of my pants, then go back to collect the measuring cup and peeling knife.
A moment later, Colin walks in and raises an eyebrow curiously.
“You seem happier than usual to see me, Amos.”
“Huh?”
He gives the bulge in my pants a pointed look, and I feel myself turn crimson from head to toe.
“It’s not what you think,” I stammer in embarrassment. “I was going outside to take my break and—” think fast. “I wanted to hit some stones against the wall,” I finish lamely.
He shakes his head as he sets down his gray, plastic bucket and goes to man the flattop. Regardless of how stupid I sounded, it seems to have worked.
“Tell Suzie to let Xavier know that I’m ready,” I say as I hurry out the back door.
Once the night air hits me, I let out my breath, then lean down to place everything on the dirty ground, just out of sight.
God, I hope I don’t catch something, I think nervously as I stand back up and then pat my pockets, hunting for my pack of smokes.
Reaching into my right pocket, I pull it out, shake one loose, quickly place it between my lips, then light it before inhaling deeply.
My hands won’t stop fucking shaking at the thought that Xavier might come—
“Hey there.”
I glance down the alley and pull on my smoke again as I see him making his way toward me. It seems he went out the front door of the diner, assumedly not to spark any suspicion.
“Did you eat enough of those fries?” I call out, my voice cracking slightly.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I look like a fucking potato at this point,” he responds dryly as he stops in front of me and swipes the cigarette that’s hanging from my slightly parted lips.
I watch as he takes a hard pull from the cigarette, flicks the ashes off the end, then cracks his neck.
His eyes never leave me.
He’s studying me.
“How was the show?” I ask awkwardly as I reach for the cigarette, but he takes a step back out of my reach as his eyes now begin to rake down my body.
“Fun.”
I nod as I reach for the cigarette again, but this time, after he takes one last pull, he then flicks it past me into that damn puddle from earlier.
“What are we doing out here, Amos?” he asks, a smirk starting to curve the edges of his lips.
I lean down and pick up the peeling knife, then hold it out, hands still shaking.
“I guess I was interested to see how far you’d be willing to go.”
“How far do you want me to go, Amos?” he asks, that husky tone returning to his voice as he takes a step closer.
I shove the handle of the knife into his hand and look him straight in the eye.