Alexandra
Sebastian'schestandarms flex under his black shirt as he effortlessly steers the small boat down the Chidorigafuchi moat. Families with children and couples holding hands stroll beneath the lush canopy of fragrant cherry blossoms, their exuberant laughter echoing in the air. The old, majestic branches elegantly arch along the river peppered with boats, adding drama and elegance to the landscape. When you think of a romantic getaway, the first two places that instantly come to mind are Paris and Rome, not Tokyo. But, hidden among the bright neon lights of the city that never sleeps, are ancient Shinto shrines, temples and picturesque gardens and parks. Japanese culture has always fascinated me. I admire their ability to seamlessly blend a thousand years of tradition with modern, futuristic vision.
In my early teens, I was obsessed with anime and ninja comic books, spending hours dreaming about becoming a ninja. I'd often lock myself in my room, turn the light off, put in earplugs and blindfold myself to develop my other senses. Ninja warriors were masters of stealth and silence, being unseen and unheard. I tried to slip in and out of my house unseen and unheard, pretending I was a ninja.Luckily, my father couldn't follow me upstairs and I only had to endure his verbal abuse during meal times. Nothing I did was good enough. I wasn't smart like my brother, who followed in his footsteps and attended West Point. My mother hates confrontations, so she fussed over him to distract him.In the second year of middle school, my hormones kicked in and Heidi burst into my life like a hurricane. Then everything changed. My evil twin came out to play. She turned the quiet and compliant daughter into a rebel, the life and soul of the party, until I met Nathan. For the first two years, we had fun, before he turned into my father and the scared, quiet little girl came back.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Sebastian's deep timbre brings me back to the present. I lift the corners of my lips in a small smile.
"Please, don't laugh at me. It's super embarrassing, but when I was young, I had," bending the fingers of both hands in quotation marks, I continue, "a slight obsession with wanting to become a ninja. What did you want to be when you were young?"
"You've got lots of exceptional qualities, so I'm sure you would have made a great ninja. As a kid, I was an adrenaline junkie and dreamed about becoming a racing car driver. I used to get into trouble and cause accidents because I had no fear. After my parents died, I had to grow up fast and learn how to assess risks before leaping into dangerous situations. But that didn't stop me from speaking up and protecting others." His lips quirk up into a massive grin.
"It's what makes you an amazing Dom, Sir. You're also compassionate, thoughtful and have an exceptional bedside manner." I flick my tongue out and run it across my lips seductively. He lifts his left eyebrow, a devilish look sparkling in his steel-gray eyes.
"Is that so, little sub?" he challenges, his voice low and sensual, sending shudders through my body. My lips twitch with the need to smile, but I keep my face straight and voice steady.
"Yes, Sir."
"Thank you, pet. I'm looking forward to demonstrating my managing risk skills and bedside manners tonight." He winks at me with faint suggestiveness.
My pulse leaps with a mixture of anxiety and excitement. He's taking me to an exclusive bondage club tonight that specializes in Kinbaku. Tokyo is the capital of S&M. I wouldn't miss the opportunity to witness a live demonstration or try it myself. During our vetting period, he told me he trained with Japanese Kinbaku masters to learn the art of rope bondage. He explained he loves the control of binding the other person and the intense emotional connection the experience creates between two people.
"For me, it will be the ultimate test of trust and surrender to you and the experience. I won't lie. It's both terrifying and exciting." Sebastian's eyes soften with gentle reassurance, melting my anxiety away.
"You don't have to do anything that makes you feel scared or uncomfortable, pet. We can have a drink and watch the demonstration on the main stage."
Shaking my head, I reply, "No, I want to challenge myself and if it gets too much, I can use my safe word."
"I'm proud of you, pet. We'll negotiate the scene when we get back to the hotel. Let's enjoy the rest of the day."
"Thank you, Sir." Warmth floods my chest, making me feel giddy with happiness.
I've never experienced a total acceptance and understanding from any man in my life before. The saboteur in me rears her ugly head, wondering if this is too good to be true. If he's too good to be true. What if his monster lurks behind a perfectly crafted mask and bides his time, patiently waiting for me to fall into his web of sweet lies and promises? Don't let your fears overwhelm you, Allie. He hasn't given you a reason not to trust him. I inhale and exhale deeply to stop my mind from spiraling.Sadly, the boat ride ends, and he docks the boat at the landing pier like a pro. Extending his hand to me, he helps me step off. Sebastian's warm fingers intertwine with mine, holding my hand possessively while we stroll through the nearby Imperial Palace shrine and gardens. We spend the rest of the day doing touristy things, sampling some of the best street foods of Tokyo, stealing glances at each other and sharing passionate kisses like love-struck teenagers. Conversation flows easily. We continue asking each other questions about our favorite childhood memory, favorite book and movie and if our houses were on fire, but we knew everyone we love was safe, what would we rescue from the fire?My chest tightened with a sharp pain when he told me holding his newborn sister in his arms for the first time is something he would never forget. He hasn't stopped searching for her and still hopes they will be reunited one day. I told him mine was climbing up the big apple tree in our backyard and stuffing myself with unripe apples until I ended up vomiting. I was a strange child and had a thing for unripe fruit. We discovered "Lord of the Rings" is our favorite book and "Wings of Desire" is one of our favorite movies.
"If my house was on fire, the only thing worth saving would be the few photographs I have of my parents and sister. Material things can be replaced, but you can't buy memories." A flash of anguish flashes in his eyes. I squeeze his hand, offering silent support as my heart aches for him.
He pulls me closer to him and kisses the top of my head. I expel a deep breath, knowing there is no turning back for me. I am truly and utterly head over heels in love with him. Just like a ninja, he slipped in through my impenetrable barriers and captured my heart.
Clearing my throat, I reply, "I'd definitely do the same, but as I'm estranged from my dysfunctional family, the only thing I'd save would be my diaries. They created a safe space for me to express my emotions and thoughts. I didn't know it at the time, but now I'm aware that journaling kept me sane."
"I'm so proud of you, pet. I hope you still feel that the journal we share is a safe place for you to express yourself without the fear of being judged or punished." Inclining his head, he gives me a wide, enchanting grin showing off his perfect rank of teeth. Damn, he is so gorgeous and all mine.
"Trust me, you would be first to know if I start having any concerns about you misusing your power, Sir." I wink at him with a saucy, playful smile. I don't remember the last time I've felt this happy and carefree. We continue grinning at each other like Cheshire cats as we walk back to our hotel.
The sound of my stiletto heels reverberates on the narrow concrete staircase as I follow Sebastian to the secret nightclub. A stunning hostess dressed in a traditional kimono greets us at the door. Lowering her gaze, she gives us a warm smile and nods her head. We smile back, bowing our heads once at her.
"Welcome to Black Orchid. Please follow me," she speaks with barely accented English. Sebastian thanks her in Japanese, earning a deeper bow.
She asks us to remove our coats and shoes and to put on a pair of disposable slippers before entering. I'm glad to get rid of the stilettos because they were killing my feet. Opening the heavy wooden door, she lets us inside. I squint to help my eyes readjust to the intense red lighting. My feet sink into the plush red carpet as we make our way to the spacious sitting area. Melodious dark and seductive electro-industrial music wafts in my ears, sending pleasurable shivers all over my body. Collapsing on the plush couch, I dart my gaze around, taking in the decadent crimson red and black theme.
At first glance, it resembles a typical BDSM club except for the giant stage, spotlights, and bamboo suspension bars hanging from the ceiling. Sebastian told me some couples use the stage after the main demonstration finishes, but most choose the private areas. I don't think I'd be brave enough to have my first ever Kinbaku session in front of a large audience. The light dims, plunging the room into darkness. Two bright spotlights illuminate the semi naked torso of a petite girl and the middle-aged Master standing behind her, his hand wrapped around her throat. The music booms through the speakers as he ties the rope around her waist in one swift movement. Like a puppet on a string, he bends and contorts her lithe body. My breath dies in my throat as I witness a sublimely gifted artist creating his greatest masterpiece with the help of his graceful muse.
Fidgeting with the dress, I watch him lower her to the ground and remove her ropes. Sebastian covers my hand with his, whispering in my ear, "It's your turn, my eager bunny. Let's go." Blowing out a sharp breath, I rise to my feet, hoping to experience the pure bliss I witnessed on the model's face when she was floating in the air like a graceful ballerina.
Making our way through the crowded room, I stop myself from ogling the play scenes around us. Sebastian leads me to a private area, hidden behind traditional translucent sliding doors. I glance around the room, noting the futon and thick bamboo poles attached to hard points on the ceiling. Strolling towards the futon, I remove my dress but keep my lace bralette and panties on. I sashay to the middle of the room and lower my head, waiting for Sebastian to approach me. He rotates around me with long, purposeful strides before coming to a stop in front of me. He fists my hair with both hands, tugging my head back. The world falls away and nothing else matters, just me and him gazing deeply into each other's eyes. My breath dies in my throat as his intense gray eyes pierce through my soul. Releasing the grip on my hair, his fingers gently caress my cheek, making my heart flutter in my chest.
As Royksopp's Here she comes again plays in the background, Sebastian grabs the red rope and gracefully lowers himself to his knees in front of me. My body sways involuntarily as he yanks the long rope, tying and tightening the knots around my waist and thighs with steady, controlled movements. Jumping to his feet, he moves behind me and presses his body against mine, his warm breath wafting across my ear. I melt into him, grinding my ass against his rock-hard cock. My core clenches with desperate need as I drown in the heady scent of his light perspiration and spicy bergamot scent.He wraps his strong muscular arm around me, resting the palm of his hand on my chest. As our heartbeats and breaths synchronize, he drops us on our knees. I don't know if it's the effects of the rope and the hypnotic beat of the music, but my body flops on the floor like a rag doll. Nestled between his legs, he brushes my locks away and trails kisses along the column of my neck, making my skin tingle with anticipation. Bending my arms behind my back and crossing them, he wraps the rope around my wrists and binds them to my forearms. Our bodies sway and bend together as he caresses me with featherlight touches, before tying the rope above and below my breasts. The continuous physical contact and rhythmic movement makes me feel safe, warm, and protected. It's as if the rope doesn't just bind my body, but it binds my soul to his.
Sebastian uncoils from the ground and lifts me up, then runs his fingers under the wraps of the rope, evening the tension and adjusting the lines. He instructs me to stay present and monitor for any signs of numbness, pins and needles sensations. As he continues to drag the silky rope across my skin and tighten the knots, I become hyperaware of the earthy smell of the hemp rope, the rise and fall of his chest as he yanks and twists my body, the beat of the music pulsating in sync with my unrelenting aches. Before I have time to react, with one quick pull, he lifts me higher and higher until I'm suspended with my left leg bound to my upper thigh and right leg dangling above the ground. After securing my right ankle, he hoists my leg up, making me release a soft cry as the stretch strains my inner thigh muscles.Time slows down as I float in the air, swaddled in a tight, weighted blanket, unable to move or stretch any part of my body.
A thousand ants seem to crawl over my skin as panic rolls through me like a chilled, dark wave. I'm utterly at Sebastian's mercy. There's nowhere I can go and there's nothing I can do, except be. I have no choice but to sit with the feelings of helplessness and intense discomfort coursing through me. Use your breath, don't fight it, Allie. You've been through worse pain. If you stop resisting, your endorphins will kick in and lessen the pain. I remind myself I've willingly relinquished my control and power to Sebastian, trusting him to keep my fragile and mortal body safe. Slowing my breathing with deliberate ins and outs, I let my mind and body drift into a state of exquisite surrender.As endorphins and adrenaline flood every cell of my body, the impenetrable dam I've built around me shatters, crumbling to dust, leaving me raw and exposed. Gut wrenching sobs rack my insides as years of fears and deeply buried emotions pour out of me. Riding the wave of unrestrained and primitive grief, I stay with it, allowing myself to cry until there are no tears left. Sebastian ever so gently pulls me down and cups my face, locking his eyes with mine.
"You did amazing, baby girl. I'm so proud of you for being so brave." My heart flutters wildly, ready to jump out of my chest.
"Thank you, Sir," I whisper.
As he unbinds me, each untied knot ignites a freeing flow of lightness, release, and relief. It's an awakening experience that leaves me reeling. I've never trusted anyone as much as I trust him at this moment. He's the missing piece of my soul, one I never knew was missing until I met him. We fit like jigsaw pieces and when we're together, everything falls into place. And it's what scares me to death. I'm not trying to be pessimistic, but I do wonder if this is too good to be true.