Alexandra
Isplashcoldwater on my face, but it does nothing to ease the burning. We just finished another intense inner child journey. Among the traumatic memories, it was amazing to see my bratty three-year-old self putting her foot down and screaming bloody murder. I was feisty, sassy, and stubborn before the years of abuse beat it out of me and transformed me into an insecure, broken girl. I exhale deeply, giving another quick glance in the mirror. Time for a session debrief and then heart-to-heart with Katie, before Heidi's birthday party tomorrow. I march back to the far end of the room and plop down on my meditation cushion. I cast my gaze in Simon's direction as the sense of him glaring at me again gives me shivers down my spine. As soon as our eyes connect, he averts his gaze. This is ridiculous! It's been a month now, and he's still not talking to me. All he does is glare at me as if I asked him to sacrifice his first born.
"Give him time. He'll come around. It's obvious he's still into you big time." Katie squeezes my hand, then let's go. I give her a weak smile, the sensible me agreeing with her, but my bratty three-year-old wanting to slap the fuck out of him.
"I'm fed up with his shitty attitude. Every time I approach him, he leaves the room. When I smile at him, he glowers at me as if I killed his puppy. I get it. My comment hurt his feelings. But come on, grow a pair already." I fan my face as my cheeks flare up again. Katie plays with the ring on her index finger, her eyes softening with understanding.
"He gives me the evil eye, too. At least now we know he's a dick and not the nice guy he pretended to be when we first met him. Just ignore him." I wrinkle my face in a grimace as irritation pulses through my body.
"He fooled us both. Anyway, he can go sucka lemon." Katie makes a comical face and snorts a laugh. Tilting my head, I grin back at her, feeling so lucky to have met her. She has a heart of gold and the patience of a saint.
"Damn right. Anyway, you said you wanted to talk to me about our girl's night out?" She stares at me expectantly.
A sudden stab of anxiety pierces my gut. I don't know how to bring this up. It feels like betraying Heidi's confidentiality, but I need to talk to Katie about it. Close friends shouldn't have secrets from each other, which means I'll need to suck it up and tell her all about Nathan. You can do this, Allie. Moistening my dry lips, I inhale deeply to get myself ready.
"It's about the conversation you and Heidi had while I was in the restroom." My voice sounds low and shaky as unease settles in my chest. Katie inhales sharply and fixes her gaze on the ground. Goddamn it, I made her uncomfortable now.
"Oh!" she whispers, worry lines lining her forehead. I lean towards her, placing my hand on her shoulder, wanting to reassure her she has nothing to worry about.
"Please don't be mad at Heidi. I think friends shouldn't keep secrets from each other and it's time I shared some with you." Katie lifts her head, lips parting in silent surprise. Trusting people doesn't come easy for me, but I'm learning how to drop my guard and let people in, especially friends like Heidi and Katie.
"I don't think this is the right place for that conversation, so how about we have this chat with a large slice of cheesecake and coffee?"
Checking her wristwatch, Katie agrees, "You're right. We have time before I meet Dan for an early dinner." She gives me a bright grin. I smile back at her, my body sagging with relief.
After our session debrief, we head to the nearby diner. We slide into a booth at the back, away from prying ears. The aromatic smells of espresso and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies waft in the air, making my mouth water. A middle-aged waitress with frizzy hair and pencil tucked behind her ear approaches our table and takes our orders. We spend the next two hours crying and laughing while sharing our painful stories. No wonder Katie was reluctant to share her lifestyle with me. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for her when people she loved and trusted shamed her, abandoned her and told her she needs psychiatric help for "letting herself be abused by perverts." We leave the diner with no secrets between us and a stronger friendship, cemented in mutual trust and respect.
Heidi and I spent the last half an hour reading through the welcome packet, signing the confidentiality agreement and answering what I felt were extremely intimate questions. Heidi has done this before, so she whizzed through it like a pro, while I sat there staring at the soft and hard limits list as if they were written in a foreign language. I didn't even feel this nervous when I did my nursing exams. Answering private questions had me twisted in knots. Thank God, it's all done now. Pulling down the long-sleeved, skin-tight rubber dress that barely covers my ass, I follow Katie through the dimly lit, open plan area straight to the bar. She told us the bar only serves water and non-alcoholic drinks, and now I wish I'd had a glass of wine before we came to give me some liquid courage. While I wait for Heidi and Katie to get us mocktails, my eyes dart from the puppy play in the corner to a petite Japanese Domme showcasing the art of Shibari, and a gagged male sub being pegged just a few feet away. I wait for the feelings of shock and disgust to surface, but instead, a sense of excitement and, weirdly, the feeling of being at home swirl in my chest. Heidi saunters back with a massive grin on her face and hands me a frozen strawberry daiquiri.
"Katie stayed to chat with a friend. She'll join us on the dance floor." Nodding, I take a sip of the delicious drink.
"Any sign of Sebastian?" Heidi's high, strawberry blonde ponytail sways from side to side as she bobs her head to the pulsating beat of She Wants Revenge. My body moves involuntarily in sync with the catchy tune.
"Nope. This place is massive. Katie said there are two open play areas, theme play and private rooms, a large socialization section and a private chill out space. Anyway, let's dance before someone throws me out for gawking." I laugh.
"Ask Katie. I'm sure she'll know where he's hiding, Allie," Heidi offers, her gaze darting from me to the bar.
Shaking my head, I reply, "Not now, Heids. Dancing first."
"Okay, but later I want to mingle and see if I can find a hot Dom to play with me." She bites her lower lip suggestively.
"Why not? A birthday spanking sounds like as good of a present as any." I let out a naughty giggle and tug her towards the dance floor.
As we drift through the crowd, we drain our mocktails and hand our glasses to a petite waitress dressed in a bunny outfit. She wiggles her ears playfully and gives us a bright smile. When we reach the dancefloor, a darker remix of World in my eyes comes through the speakers, drowning the nearby moans and cries of a naked female sub being spanked while strapped on a weird-looking massage table. Every inch of my body heats as I imagine myself trading places with her. There's no point in lying to myself or denying the fact that all I can think about is picking up the phone and accepting his offer. Call it intuition or gut feeling, but I know, unlike Nathan, Sebastian would never hurt me. He radiates warmth, confidence and control that draws my buried submissive like a helpless moth to a flame. Exhaling deeply, I let the music take over my body and take me to my happy place. It's only when I spot Katie trotting in our direction with bottles of water that I realize that we've been dancing for ages.
"Hey girls. Sorry, I haven't abandoned you. I had to help at the bar while one of the girls went on her break. Here, it's time for water and rest." She hands us the bottles.
Thanking her, I let the cool liquid slide down my parched throat. She motions for us to follow her. We trail behind, walking past private play rooms, and straight to the large socializing area, but she continues on to a wide, roomy alcove. When we step in, the chatter dies down. My eyes dart around the dimly lit alcove, taking in the comfortable, L-shaped couch surrounding the room and small coffee tables littered with bottles of water and orange juice. Katie introduces us to the Doms and scantily dressed subs, before she drops to her knees in front of a young Keanu Reeves look alike with spiky ebony hair. He's a spicy hot mix of Native American and Asian descent. Go Katie. My heart picks up a notch when my gaze connects with Sebastian's. The corner of his full mouth quirks up in a devastatingly sexy half smile. Someone please kill me now. He pats the free spot next to him, inviting me to sit down. I stand frozen on the spot, my legs refusing to cooperate. Heidi saunters over to the blonde Dom with a messy ponytail and plops down in the seat next to him. He must have given a signal to sit next to him while I was gawking at Sebastian. Willing myself to walk, I edge closer and perch on the couch. I sit with my spine straight, clasping my hands in my lap to stop them from shaking as his body heat seeps into mine.
"Relax, pet. You look like a deer caught in the headlights," he whispers in my ear, his raspy voice sending shudders down my spine. Nervously, I drag my tongue across my bone-dry lips.
"I'm not scared, just a little nervous. I've read through the welcome packet, but it's hard to remember all the do's and dont's." My voice sounds high pitched and strained. Calm down, Allie. He chuckles, then leans towards the table and grabs an unopened bottle of water.
Handing me the water, he replies, "All submissives must kneel, unless their Dom gives them permission to sit next to them. Submissives that aren't collared aren't expected to kneel unless they have agreed to play with a Dom. If you're interested in exploring a D's relationship with me, my offer is still on the table," he drawls. Giving him a sideways glance, I blow out a shaky breath.
"I've thought about accepting your offer and yes, I'd like to accept it," I blurt out before I change my mind. He stares at me, complete surprise etched across his face.
"Good girl. There are lots of things we need to talk about, but not here. I'd like us to get to know each other better over dinner tomorrow night. I'll pick you up at seven-thirty."
"What if I'm not free tomorrow night?" I pout, my mouth in petulant annoyance. When he scowls at me, I dart my eyes to the floor, reminding myself that I just agreed to be his submissive. Raising my gaze, I give him a small smile to appease him, but his stony expression tells me he isn't buying what I'm selling.
"If it's not a matter of life and death, then you'll make yourself available, baby girl." He gives me a glacial stare, before continuing, "And Alexandra, you will address me as Sir unless I give you permission to use my name. Failure to do so will result in punishment. Is that understood, pet?" His voice cuts through me like a knife. I nod in agreement.
"I didn't hear what you said, kitten." He deliberately tilts his head and lifts my chin with his index finger. My face burns with a flush as his direct gaze bores into mine like a laser.
"Yes, Sir," I whisper, breaking eye contact.
Tracing his thumb across my lower lip, he murmurs, "Well done, pet. You please me." Dammit, he'll be the death of me.