“Babe. You can’t. Not without it affecting me.”
“You’re almost finished filming,” I remind him.
“There are still reshoots, promo, the premiere, and the potential of more movies. You know this, Viv.” I do, but I’ve been languishing in denial, trying to avoid that possibility because I know what it means for our plans, and I can’t deal with more disappointment. “I can’t do anything to rock the boat, and that means you can’t either.”
I lean my head back against the wall, close my eyes, and sigh.
I hate these people.
I hate this side of the industry.
And I hate that I have no choice, because I won’t do anything to jeopardize Reeve’s future career even if there is a part of me that prays the movie tanks so he doesn’t get offered more films with Saffron Roberts.
Yes, I know I’m a selfish, jealous bitch and Reeve would be so hurt if he was privy to my inner thoughts and feelings. I suffer enormous guilt every time it enters my mind, but the thought of Reeve spending more time with that woman sends me spiraling into a pit of anxiety. Honestly, if it happens, I’m not sure we’d survive.
“What was her objection this time?” I ask, in a resigned tone. “You weren’t even in the photo with me.”
He sounds tired when he speaks. “You tagged me.”
“So, are you saying I can’t tag my boyfriend in posts now?” I stuff my clenched fist in my mouth to stifle the scream begging to be set free.
“No. You can’t.” He lowers his voice. “They don’t want any ties linking us together. They need me to appear to be single.”
My stomach drops to my feet, and a heavy pressure settles on my chest. “I think they’d put a bullet through my skull if they thought they’d get away with it.”
“Don’t say that! Of course, they wouldn’t. It’s just semantics.”
“It’s not just semantics, Reeve. Don’t insult my intelligence.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say here, Viv.” I visualize him throwing his hands in the air. “This is my career, and we both know this bullshit is the norm in the industry.”
“I know all that, but you can’t let these people manipulate every aspect of your life, Reeve! Are you really sure this role is worth it?”
He sucks in a gasp, and I instantly know I’ve said the wrong thing. “You know how much this part means to me, Viv. This is one of the biggest studios in the biz. This role will make or break my career. I thought you supported me, but I’m beginning to wonder if that’s really the truth.”
“Now you’re being unfair. Of course, I support you, but I didn’t realize I’d have to become your dirty little secret!” My voice raises a few levels as anger rears its ugly head.
“Babe, c’mon. You know it’s not like that. Who cares what anyone else thinks? You know I’m yours and you’re mine. As long as we’re solid, it doesn’t matter what the press says.”
“It matters tome, Reeve.” I slap a hand over my aching chest. “Do you think this is easy for me? To have people say I’m not good enough for you? Thatshe’smore deserving of you? Now, I can’t post about us, or talk about us, because I have to pretend like I’m not your girlfriend? In what realm do you ever think I’d be okay with that?”
“It’s not going to be forever, and we know the truth, as do our friends and the people who matter. Everything else is industry bullshit, but it’s a necessary evil.”
“What happened to the guy who spoke so eloquently about wanting to be known for his acting ability not his celebrity status? What asshole has been whispering shit in your ear, hmm, Reeve?”
“I was naïve to think one existed without the other,” he says, in a clipped tone. “I have a role to play on-screen and off of it.”
“God, Reeve. Do you even hear yourself? You’re already indoctrinated.” I shake my head, disgusted that he can’t see my point of view at all.
“I’m doing what I need to do to establish my career!” he shouts, and I’m taken aback by the venom in his voice. Reeve has rarely raised his voice to me, and we don’t fight very often. These past three months, I estimate we have fought more than we’ve fought in years. It’s draining. More than that, we are drifting apart, and I don’t think he even feels it. Or he’s pretending like it isn’t happening, or maybe he just doesn’t care.
“Well then, you continue doing that. Continue putting yourself first Reeve, because you’re so good at it.” Then I do something I swore I’d never do—I hang up on him and switch off my cell. Fuck him and his selfishness.
* * *
Dragging myself out of bed the following morning, I try to think of a plausible excuse to get me out of meeting Audrey at the yoga studio for our regular class, but I know she’s not going to let me get away with it. I drank way too much after I hung up on Reeve last night, and I’m paying for it now. Big-time. As much as it’ll be torture attending class with a monster hangover, it should help to sweat the last of the alcohol from my system, so I grab a quick shower, change into my workout gear, and race out the door to meet my bestie.
“Man, that sucked balls,” I admit, as we sit in the café across from the yoga studio after our class has ended. “I honestly thought I was going to vomit during the revolved downward-facing dog.”