Despite my aversion to relationships, I was a romantic at heart.
When I found the right person, I wanted to get swept up in that grand, all-consuming love. The type of love that’d compelled Alex to move to another country for Ava, that gave Bridget and Rhys the courage to go against a country, and that transformed years of animosity between Josh and Jules into something beautiful.
That type of love existed. I’d witnessed it with my own eyes.
But it wasn’t something Christian believed in, and while I knew he wanted me, he didn’t want me enough to change such a deep-rooted belief.
Men like Christian Harper didn’t change for anyone.
“Love has nothing to do with this.” His hard reply proved my point.
The bitter taste of disappointment welled on my tongue. “Exactly.”
“You were the one who told me not to fall in love with you, Stella. Do you remember that?” Those dark eyes pierced mine.
“Yes, and I meant it.” I resisted the urge to twist my necklace around my finger like I always did when I was nervous. It was my tell, and I bet Christian had already picked up on it. “I still do.”
Because if Christian ever fell in love with me, I didn’t trust myself not to fall in love with him in return.
And I had a feeling love with him wouldn’t be sweet or easy. It would be catastrophic.
“Things have gotten too complicated with me moving in, the stalker situation, and this trip,” I said when Christian remained silent. “The original rules of our arrangement are getting blurred. Maybe we need to see other people so we don’t—”
I didn’t get a chance to finish before his mouth covered mine and he kissed me with a soft, desperate viciousness that I felt from my head to my toes.
“Tell me…” He curled a hand around the nape of my neck. “Does this feel fake to you?”
No. That was the problem. It felt too real, as did the possibility that he could break my heart.
“I want to make a few things clear.” Christian’s lips brushed mine with each word. “Touch another man, he dies. Let another man touch you, he dies. Tell me I can’t touch you…” His grip tightened on the back of my neck as his voice dropped. “And I will fucking die.”
An ache grabbed hold of my heart and twisted. “Christian…”
“Love is nothing but a word.” The intensity of his words stole the remaining breath from my lungs. “This isn’t about words. It’s about us. Do you think I would disrupt my schedule and fly to Hawaii in the middle of a work week for anyone else?”
“It’s a nice destination,” I said weakly.
“I thought it was obvious, but in case it isn’t, you’re mine, Stella.” His touch branded my skin with hot possessiveness. “I don’t want to see other women, and I sure as fuck don’t want you seeing other men.” Ice frosted the word men. “You belong with me. Exclusively. There is not a world or lifetime where that’s not true.”
Emotion stung the backs of my eyes, but I managed to smile through the tightness in my chest.
“Christian Harper, are you asking me out?”
“Yes.” Simple, unequivocal. Real.
It seemed almost comical that someone like him would do something as mundane as ask a girl out, but that didn’t stop my stomach from fluttering or my mind from playing through the past two months.
On paper, our relationship had been fake, but there was nothing fake about the way he’d taken care of me, supported me, and believed in me. Nor was there anything fake about the way I felt when I was with him, like I could be me and he’d want me anyway, flaws and all.
“So…” Christian’s mouth grazed mine. “What do you say, Butterfly? Want to give this dating thing a real shot?”
I shouldn’t. There were so many ways this could go wrong, but wasn’t that true of every risk people took?
No risk, no reward.
For once, I turned off the over-analytical part of my brain and went with what my heart told me to do.
“Yes.” Simple. Unequivocal. Real.
I felt his smile against my lips before he kissed me again. Softer this time, more tender.
Tender wasn’t a word I’d thought I would ever associate with Christian, but he constantly took me by surprise.
I melted into him and let his taste, touch, and the last few hours of our dream sweep me away to a place where my worries didn’t exist.
I was used to being alone. Even when I was surrounded by people, a part of me isolated itself until I felt like I was watching a movie of my life instead of living it.
I had never belonged to someone, nor had someone ever belonged to me. The idea was equal parts thrilling and terrifying.
But what was even more terrifying was the realization that I didn’t mind belonging with Christian.
Not even a little bit.