Vienna hadn’t known. She wasn’t certain where Zahra was going with that information, so she remained silent.
“His father passed away when he was fourteen, and he took over providing for his family. He wanted his brothers to go to college. In some ways, he’s really to be admired.”
“Why do you have that hesitancy in your voice, Zahra? Looking after his family and starting several businesses that became so successful is admirable.”
“Yes. At the same time, if his brothers didn’t or don’t meet his standards, if they don’t do what he wants them to do, he cuts them out of his businesses. He dictates what he believes is best for them and they have to do as he says. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t their dream. One wanted to become a surgeon, but he thought it would take too long. He said it would be better if he settled for being an accountant. He actually told me he made fun of him, and pointed out how blood used to make him queasy when he was in grammar school.”
“I can’t imagine you staying quiet about your opinion.”
“Liza laughed her head off and was very snarky. I waited until she was finished before I gave him the eyebrow and told him some of the best surgeons started off that way. I told him I certainly hoped he changed his mind and fully supported his brother’s dream. I didn’t stop looking him straight in the eye until he squirmed away.”
Zahra looked over her shoulder, frowning again. “He’s very much a dictator, and he definitely has a bad temper. I think he’s used to his brothers falling in line with whatever he wants. If you notice, Clay does his job but keeps his distance.”
Vienna hadn’t noticed. She’d been having fun. “Benny seemed to take the naked men in stride until Rick invited you up to share his lunch.”
“That bothered me because he should have been looking out for the underaged kids.” Zahra glanced over her shoulder again. “I don’t know, I wish I could shake this feeling, Vienna. You usually get this feeling before any of the rest of us.”
She sounded so hopeful that Vienna wished she could tell her she had a growing feeling of dread, but she didn’t. She had enjoyed every moment of being outdoors and on the water, and of exploring the various places they’d stopped. She felt guilty that Zahra had spent time watching Benny so she would be safe.
“Benny said something that upset you, and you clearly said something that upset him.” Vienna was very careful.
Zahra went silent again, paddling strongly through the water toward Arizona Hot Springs. “I should have kept my mouth shut, Vienna. I don’t know what possessed me to tell him anything. I don’t even talk to my best friends about my life, but I just blurted out things I shouldn’t have because he was so certain he had the right to dictate his brother’s life. He was also sure his brother would just fall in line and stay quiet and grateful.”
Zahra wasn’t someone who cried. Shabina could cry once in a while. Harlow was known to cry over a sad movie. Stella definitely did. Vienna was known to be a sympathy crier if it was someone she loved who was crying. Zahra remained stoic. Vienna would have bet her last dollar that Zahra was crying at that moment, but she was in the front of the kayak and it was impossible to see her face.
“Benny was so pompous, saying how he told his brother not to go to med school. It really bothered me. When we were alone, he brought up the subject again. He was upset that I didn’t see his point of view and he wanted to convince me that he was right. He told me how childish his brother was being. That rather than take the college money set aside for him—that Benny had dictated could only be used for accounting classes—his brother had left home and was working his way through pre-med.”
“Good for him.”
“That’s what I said. Benny nearly exploded with anger. He said his brother wouldn’t even talk to him, but that he’d come around when it got too rough. He’d come crawling back. I told him not to bet on it. That I hadn’t.”
Vienna went very still. Zahra never talked about her family because it was such a painful subject. To have her talk about her family to a complete stranger was shocking no matter the circumstances.
“He asked me what I meant, and I told him I came from a small village where arranged marriages were common and women had no rights. My brother and older sister had both been married in that way, but my parents had promised me I wouldn’t have to be. They allowed me to attend schools outside of our village. In return, I promised to send them money. I went to visit them and a man saw me, one of the very important men in our village. I told Benny when that kind of man offers marriage for your daughter, you don’t decline.”
For a moment Zahra rubbed her face on her arm, but then she squared her shoulders and continued rowing. “I didn’t give him details, but I said I refused. They all thought I’d come around if it meant I’d never see my family again. I never relented and I told him I never saw my parents again. They refused to even FaceTime with me when that became available. I did send them money and they accepted it, but they never spoke to me. I told him it would be terrible if he never spoke to his brother, that my parents were dead and we were never able to heal that wound. I pointed out anything could happen, car accidents, anything at all. Did pride matter so much? Dictating what his brother did? Was it so terrible to support his brother’s dream whether he succeeded or failed? Wasn’t he proud of him for just trying?”
Vienna definitely heard a quiet little sob in Zahra’s voice and a lump formed in her throat. “Honey, I’m sorry this brought up sad memories when it was supposed to be fun for you. Not everyone understands that family is more important than anything. I almost lost sight of that when I got into that terrible fight with Mitzi. I don’t even understand why I was so angry with her. Jealousy, I guess, that she found Ellen and I was alone.”
“You don’t? It wasn’t jealousy, Vienna. You wanted her to be happy. You never once expressed jealousy that Mitzi found Ellen. Not one single time. In fact, you often said you regretted not knowing Ellen. You were hurt that Mitzi said she wasted her life raising you when you weren’t even hers. That was the real reason.”
Vienna contemplated the truth of that while they docked their kayak alongside Stella and Harlow’s kayak. The shore was sandy, and Clay announced there were pit toilet bathrooms nearby. Immediately there was a rush in the direction he had indicated. Liza glared at Zahra, seeming reluctant, but in the end, nature won out, and she hurried off with another warning glare.
“You’re such a man-stealer,” Raine accused, nudging Zahra with her shoulder.
They pulled out their packs and settled together to eat. Vienna found she was very hungry after using so much energy to paddle all morning. Paddling a kayak used nearly all the muscles in the body, including back, shoulders, arms, abs and core muscles if one paddled correctly. Elsa and Verma joined them, and they simply widened their circle. Benny and Clay and the mothers with the teens joined, bringing their lunches. Surrounding them came the others.
“What are all those walkways built into the rocks we hear about above Emerald Cave?” Burt asked.
“The catwalks,” Benny said. “River workers had to measure the depth of the water in two locations daily. They’d walk along the catwalk to get to a steel wire system that held a pulley cart. The steel wire was suspended across the river.”
The entire group surrounding Benny looked out over the wide expanse of the river. Right now, the banks were full and the current was strong.
“There were two gauging stations where the water was measured, and one still can be seen. You can access it from the water by climbing up to it. It’s really cool. The second gauging station was also perched along the cliffs downstream, but it no longer exists.”