Me: Damn it, Ky! We talked about this! You said you wouldn’t be home tonight.
Kyler: LMFAO. I wish I could’ve seen your face just then.
Kyler: I’m just kidding Hails. I just pulled up at my sister’s house. Plan on sleeping on the luxurious sleeper couch, so you owe me one. The whole place is yours.
Me: Not cool. That was a major dick move, but you’re the best.
Kyler: You two kids have fun.
Kyler out of the apartment for the evening. Check.
Romantic mood set with candles, music, and sexy lingerie. Check.
A home-cooked meal. Ch—wait, what’s that smell?
“Oh no, dinner!” I race over to the oven and pull the door open, revealing a cloud of smoke.
Well, so much for a home-cooked meal. The kitchen is now filled with smoke. Reaching for the oven mitts, I take the pan of charred pot roast and place it on the stovetop. Now, when I say charred, I mean it went through hell and back. It was definitely dead.
“Well, it can’t get any worse.” As soon as I exhale, the smoke detector begins to beep.
Fuck! I throw my head back in frustration.
I look around and find the detector, but I can’t reach it. Tonight is turning out to be awful. I just wanted to do something special for Zach. I sit on the floor against the island with my knees to my chest and listen to the chirping of the smoke detector.
“Haylee! Babe? Where are you?” I hear the front door slam shut and Zach’s voice fill the apartment.
Zach crouches in front of me, cupping my face so that I look at him. My eyes fill with tears. “Baby, are you okay?”
I nod. Physically I am; mentally, I’m not so sure. I just wanted it to be perfect.
“First things first, let me turn the beeping off and
open a window to air out the smoke. I’ll be right back.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” I exhale and rest my head back on my knees and hug them tighter.
“What happened?” Zach sits down next to me, pulling me into his lap.
“I wanted to make tonight special. I worked it out with Ky so that we had the whole place to ourselves and had dinner all planned out, and it’s all ruined.”
He brushes a stray hair out of my face. “You tried to cook for me?”
I wipe the tears away and nod. His palm caresses the back of my head, bringing me closer to his chest. “I called your mom and she gave me her pot roast recipe that I know you love. I figured it would be easy since it all goes in one pan. Nope—I figured out how to fuck it up, and well, I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.”
“It’s the thought that counts?” he more so asks than says.
That forces me to laugh. He rises to his feet and helps me up.
He claps his hands together. “Now let’s see if we can salvage any of your… Woah!”
Zach spots the burnt-to-a-crisp pan. If his eyes were any wider, they would be in the apartment above us. It would probably be better to just replace the pan instead of trying to clean it.
He bends over in laughter.
“Why are you laughing?” I shove his arm, but he continues to laugh.
He wipes the tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry, baby, but you’re a terrible cook. I was also remembering when you tried to bake my sister’s cupcake recipe for your mom’s birthday, and you used salt instead of sugar in both the batter and frosting.”