I place my order with the barista, and Chad quickly chimes in. “Put your money away, I’ve got this.”
“No, that’s okay, I’ve got it.”
Chad puts his hand on mine, and I don’t like the way his hand feels on my skin. It doesn’t make me feel the same way Zach’s did. Fuck, I am so screwed. Will I compare every guy from now on to Zach Jacobs?
“Okay, well, how about instead of letting me buy you coffee, you let me take me to the big party tonight.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I reach for it, only to see Zach is calling. I hit the Ignore button and put it back in my pocket.
Being out partying is the last thing I want to do right now, but I remember Zach had mentioned it, so it’s safe to assume he’ll be there. I can’t let him see that he broke me, so I do the last thing I ever expected to do.
“Pick me up at eight.”
Kyler and I stand over by the keg. For once I didn’t feel like coming out to a party. That’s how I know I have it bad. Maybe everything Emmett said that last conversation was true—when I’d know, I’d just know. And I know.
“Oh shit,” Kyler mutters into his plastic cup full of cheap beer.
I look up in the direction he is looking, and I see her. My Haylee. She is stunning. Her blonde hair is down and curly just how I like it. I itch to glide my fingers through her locks, grip it between my fingers so I can pull her close and taste her. My thoughts of all the ways I want her are interrupted when I see she’s not alone. Fucking Chad Davis—quarterback for the Quakers, the all-American boy next door, and total douchebag! I don’t know what girls see in him, and why is my girl with him? I didn’t realize I actually growled as I saw him wrap his arm around her shoulders.
“You okay, man?”
“What is she doing with that tool? I don’t get it. We were happy. I don’t understand what happened. When we had sex last night, I don’t even know how to say it, Ky. It was the best of my life. She just gets me. Then all day she avoided my call. When I went to the dorm room, Cami made up some excuse that she wasn’t there. But I’m pretty sure she was.”
Kyler turns to me, lowering his beer. “Zach, I’d hate to break it to you, but before Haylee, you were a bit of manwhore.”
“Yeah. So? But Haylee…” I steal a glance over at her. She still hasn’t noticed me looking at her. “She’s different. She is something special. She’s not like the rest of them.”
He nods, taking a sip of his drink. “But does she know that?” He points his cup in her direction. “I mean, does she really know that? And not just think you did all that to get in her pants? You were gone when she got up this
morning.”
“I ran out to get us breakfast.”
“Yeah, but she didn’t know that.”
“I left a…”
Shit, I totally didn’t leave a note. I shake the thought from my mind, but fuck, is he right? Had I treated her as I would have every other girl, or at least in her mind, did she see it that way? Did she think I would say anything to get pussy? I mean, she wouldn’t have been wrong. Last year, all I had to do was call a girl beautiful and she was handing me her panties before spreading her legs.
I look over at her and realize I never told her what she means to me. I want it all with her. I want what Em and Dani had, and the only girl I want it with is Haylee Hanks. Her blue eyes meet mine for a brief moment before she quickly looks away. It’s at that moment that I realize she owns me. It was so quick that I can’t even be sure she had seen me, but the way it made me feel told me she had. My chest tightens as my heart beats faster.
“Fuck!” I set my beer down and run my hands through my hair before dragging them over the stubble on my face. “I messed up, Ky. I need to fix this. I’ve never felt like this about a girl. I need her. Shit! I’m gonna go talk to her.”
Before I can even move, I feel Kyler’s hand on my arm holding me in place. “Zach, you can’t just go up to her and talk to her, especially when she’s here with another guy. I know it sucks, but you need to prove to her that she is different. You can’t just walk up to her and say, ‘Hey, baby, you’re different. I want you.’ If I were her, I’d probably throw my beer in your face and go home and bang that douchebag Chad.”
I turn to look at him. “What the fuck, man? Whose side are you on here?”
Is he for real suggesting she go home with that guy? Who knows what the fuck kind of diseases he’s got, and I bet he has a microdick!
“I’m on yours. Seriously, I am. I’m just saying you need to do something big. Chicks dig that shit.”
“And what do you suggest I do, almighty love guru?”
He takes a sip of his beer and shakes his head. “Oh, no, you don’t. Love is not my area—never has been, never will be.”
“Love? Who said anything about love?” I pause.
Is this what it feels like to be in love? I shake my head at the thought. I care about Haylee a lot—I mean a lot—but is this love? Maybe. I never really have been in love, if, after all, that is what I’m feeling. I don’t want anyone’s arms around hers. I don’t want anyone to have her in the way she gave herself to me last night. I want her pressed up against my body, her hands intertwined with mine, her lips on mine, kissing me and only me.