“Why not?” I shot back, turning away.
“Because you could have done anything. You had the whole world in front of you.”
“So did you. And yet, here you are.”
“It’s different.”
“Why? Because you’re a guy?” I shot back.
“Oh, fuck off with that. You know I’ve never thought like that.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever actually known what you thought,” I said, wincing at myself.
“Lulu…” Valen started, voice a familiar kind of soft.
He’d used that same voice on me so many times in the past.
Thepast, I reminded myself.
“That’s not my name,” I snapped, straightening.
“You used to like it,” he said, coming up behind me.
“I used to like a lot of things,” I agreed. “Including you. Funny how shit changes over the years,” I added, jerking away from him.
I’d miscalculated.
It wasn’t going to be as easy to keep the upper hand as I’d expected.
Mostly because there was still a part of me that was drawn to him, that was reminded of all those times we’d had together.
Before he’d gone and fucked it all up.
Fuckedmeall up.
Shit.
No.
Nope.
Absolutely not.
I couldn’t let my mind go there.
I was here for one reason, and one reason only, to make Valen’s life a little harder for a while, which I hoped was going to give me the closure I needed to move on with my life.
On that note, I dropped the sponge back into the bucket and grabbed the hose, washing off my hands and arms.
“Where are you going?” Valen asked.
“Anywhere else. I don’t need to be doing your jobs,” I said, pulling the trigger on the hose and spraying him full blast for a second. “Whoops,” I said as he let out a curse at the frigid water.
Was that mature of me?
Absolutely not.
But it made me feel a little bit better, so I was going to call that a win.
I was going to need all the wins I could get in the coming days and weeks of close contact with a guy I thought I was well and fully over, but some part of me still felt drawn to.
And I was never going to get the closure I needed if some stupid, sappy, ridiculous part of me was maybe just a little bit… still in love with him.
Damnit.