“I mean it.”
He leaves my room, sucking the energy with him like a damn vacuum. I close my eyes for a moment, feeling a pinch of heat as my lids rest against my eyeballs. My nails dig into my kneecaps, tension straining my chest as I count my inhalations and exhalations. I don’t want the mob lifestyle. I don’t want Alex to be my wife. I don’t want the responsibilities that come with all that.
But how the hell can I say no?
***
City lights glint off the passenger window as I lean against my hand. “You don’t understand,” I argue. “You just wouldn’t. You’re a kid.”
“I’m only a year younger than you, asshole.”
Mikhail slams on the brakes, causing me to lurch forward. The angry look I shoot him doesn’t break the resolve on his face.
“It’s in your blood whether you like it or not,” my brother continues. “That’s fucking life. Get over it.”
“You’re just like Dad.”
He snickers. “I take that as a fucking compliment.”
“You shouldn’t. You’re only seventeen.”
“Whatever, dude.”
I roll my eyes. “Talk about expectations—what do you think is going to happen to you? You want to end up like Felipe?”
“Hey, that guy was a fucking idiot. I’m better than that. You’re better than that.”
My tongue aches in my mouth. I taste blood. Cringing, I roll down the window and spit. As it rolls back up, I shake my head. “You could say no, Mikhail. You don’t have to do his dirty work.”
“Maybe I like doing his dirty work. Ever think about that?”
It’s impossible to get through to my brother. Ever since he became old enough to run errands, he’s been living the damn dream, running around like a fucking eager puppy at my father’s behest. He’s a lost cause. But for some reason, I keep trying to save his sorry ass from making another decision that will put a nail in his coffin.
“No,” I reply to my brother in a hushed voice. “I don’t want to think about that.”
Silence settles between us. The rumble of the tires rolling along the road fills my ears, lulling me into a mesmerized state. It’s not until the car is parked and my brother is hanging halfway out of the car that I realize where we are.
It’s the seedy part of the town, the very underbelly of Macedon. No one comes here unless they’re looking to be forgotten—or to find sex and drugs. My brother holds my gaze and says, “Stay in the car.”
It’s weird how much he looks like me and sounds like me. If he would get himself together, maybe focus on not being a damn mob member, he would get somewhere else in life, somewhere worth going. But what he does next seems to seal his fate in a way I have no control over.
The way my slightly toned younger brother nails his fist into this guy’s face is so shocking that I suck air into my lungs and hold it. Furious punches unfold next, vivid movements that spatter blood up the brick wall to Mikhail’s left and across the dirty sidewalk to his right. He doesn’t stop until the man goes limp, until a sickening crunch erupts from his very last punch.
My younger brother bows over the man and whispers something into his ear. The man nods emphatically, raising a shaky hand that holds a wad of bills. When my brother returns, he sighs and lounges in the driver’s seat as if he didn’t just beat a guy to a bloody pulp.
“What the fuck was that, Mikhail?”
He shrugs without meeting my gaze. “Guy owed Dad.”
“So you fucking beat him up?” I’m not a coward, but the brutality of that coming from my own kin makes my stomach queasy. “The fuck is your problem?”
The engine roars to life as he turns the key in the ignition, and then he peels away, burning rubber as we head back into the main part of the city.
“You could have fucking warned me, you know,” I snap.
He laughs. “So you could try to talk me out of it? No fucking way, dude.”
“God, you’re a fucking idiot.”