ChapterSix
Tears of pain burned in my eyes as Alicen squeezed me in her arms tightly, but I didn’t push her away. I knew she needed the hug just as much as I did. The shooting hadn’t happened to just me. Alicen and Milo hadn’t been at the docks with me and Jasper, but they’d been with Jasper when he was trying to find me after Nico and his boys took me.
“I should beat the fuck out of you,” she mumbled against my shoulder as her arms tightened even more. I couldn’t trap the groan of pain in my throat.
Her arms dropped from around me and she moved away from me so fast that I almost fell over now that I didn’t have her basically holding me up.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but maybe you deserve it for getting yourself shot. You said you were going to be fine and coming back that night, but that’s not what happened. Instead, you got your ass shot and then kidnapped. That’s not okay, Tora.” Alicen crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me through her large anime eyes that were shooting daggers of anger at me.
She stood next to Milo who’d been silent since I’d walked into my apartment and found them waiting for me. Jasper said that he called them as soon as we walked out of Santiago’s condo. I needed to see them. My mind knew they weren’t in any danger. They hadn’t gone to the docks or been part of any of my plans, but that didn’t mean Nico wouldn’t go after them because he knew they were close to me. They were important to me, so he could use them to hurt me.
“It’s not like I meant to get shot or kidnapped. I went in planning to do exactly what I said. Rescue the girls and then get out of there. I’m sorry it didn’t work out that way. Shit happens like that sometimes.” I didn’t want to make her angrier, but that was the truth. It has been a long time since things hadn’t worked out the way I’d planned them. Since coming to Chicago and starting to execute my plans to take out Gio, things hadn’t been working out the way I wanted them to. I should’ve known something was going to go wrong, but that’s not something you want to think about when going into a situation like the one I was in at the docks. You didn’t want to put all that negativity into the air when your life was on the line. Or the life of someone you loved.
“Well, it did happen, and now Nico knows everything. How are you going to keep yourself safe when you have the heir to the largest crime syndicate coming after you? Let me tell you, if anything happens to you, I will strangle you to death.”
My lips pulled into a smile as Alicen worked herself up into a snit. I would burn this city to the ground if something happened to her, Milo, or Jasper. I knew what she was feeling, and I couldn’t explain the way it made my heart clench to know I had people on my side.
“I have a feeling we’ll be seeing Nico at some point during this winter break. There’s no avoiding them. I’m not worried about them right now.” To be honest I wasn’t. There was a lot of unpack there, but I wanted to focus on the guy that sent me down the murderous path that wasted more time than I had.
Jasper looked at me from the spot he found on the couch. He knew what I was focused on. I couldn’t let it go. I was so focused on getting to those girls, I let everything about all my plans of getting Gio fall to the waste side.
“I need to find that guy. There’s something going on, and I don’t like being in the dark.”
My mind was so jumbled with all the possible scenarios that could explain the bad information the informant gave my uncle that I didn’t even notice Milo until he was standing in front of me. He held out a hand with two small white pills in his palm and a glass of water in his other hand.
“I’m sure you’re in pain. Take these and then sit the fuck down before you fall over.”
I couldn’t believe the forcefulness of my friend who was usually so quiet and timid. I didn’t question him as I grabbed the pills out of his hand and chased them with deep swallows of cold water. I hadn’t even realized how thirsty I was until the crisp chilled liquid hit my mouth.
Watching him over the rim of my glass, I noticed the slight redness of his eyes and the crease lines around his mouth. He’d been worried about me, and now that he knew I was going to be alright he was pissed. Alicen wasn’t one to keep her feelings quiet, but Milo was keeping his worry, fear, and anger trapped inside of himself.
I couldn’t let him do that. It would end up eating him up inside.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to him.
I thought it would be harder to get him to open up to me, but those two words seemed to be the thing that broke the damn open.
“You’re sorry? That’s all we get. You go out and almost get yourself killed, but you’re sorry, so that makes it all better now. I feel so much better now knowing that the one friend I’ve ever had is sorry about getting shot and then kidnapped.” His voice rose higher and higher as he spoke. His entire body was shaking with the force of his emotions.
I didn’t think of myself as replaceable, but I knew they would all go on with their lives if I was gone. They’d have lives that were safer and more predictable if they weren’t saddled with the craziness of my drama. It sometimes seemed that was the better way for them to be. I couldn’t count the number of times I’d thought of walking away from Jasper. Disappearing in the middle of the night, not answering any of his messages, ignoring the relationship we’d built over so many years of being family. Leaving him to build a life that would keep him safe.
I couldn’t do it.
I was too selfish. I needed him more than he needed me. I knew that. The thought of living a life that was absent from him was terrifying enough to keep me with him. I knew I should be a better person, but I wasn’t.
It was the same thing with Milo and Alicen. They were now just as important to me as Jasper. I needed them just as much as I needed him. Which meant I wouldn’t make them feel horrible or stupid for their feelings of fear or anger. Especially since I would feel the same way if anything remotely similar happened to them.
“I really am sorry. I didn’t plan on anything that happened. It should’ve been a relatively simple job to do. Get in, get out. I didn’t mean to worry you. I certainly didn’t mean to get hurt or kidnapped. Although, I must admit I’m a little glad the kidnapping happened. I wouldn’t have asked Nico about the girls otherwise. Then I wouldn’t have found out it was all a lie.”
Milo didn’t like to hear that I was grateful for the kidnapping. To him it was a scary devastating thing where his friend was being taken away from him. Friends weren't something Milo came by easily. I knew from when we first met at the beginning of the year. I never wanted to do anything to hurt him, but he knew what I was in Chicago to do. I never kept him in the dark. Once I told him my truth, I laid it all out in front of him. I let him know what I was going to be doing, so even though I understood why he was afraid, why he was worried, why he was hurt, I still couldn't regret being kidnapped.
I was able to ask Nico the questions that needed to be answered. I was able to find out why I was chasing these girls around the city. These ghosts that didn't seem to be real. Apparently, they weren't real. They were a fabrication from some guy who thought no one would be the wiser if he gave false information to a man, he thought would give him a leg up in life.
I was the wiser, only I was too late figuring it out.
I know I keep harping on the fact that I've been led on this merry little chase, this bloody path, but you don't understand how angry it makes me. Weeks, months of wasted time I could have been using to get closer to Gio.
Now I need to come up with a completely different plan.