LOREN
The lunch with Marcus had gone well, and I was discovering my father in a whole new light. It felt nice to have these memories of him, even if they weren’t firsthand. Marcus was even thinking of volunteering at the center so he could hang out with Jude more.
It had been a few days since the memorial, and I’d been watching Jude, making sure he wasn’t falling into a depressive hole like I had. But as I was learning with Jude, he always surprised me, proving he was far more prepared for this life than any of us gave him credit for.
Today was the first meeting of my group for teens, and I was nervous and excited about what it could become. I was setting up the last bean bag when Immy walked in, a tray of cookies in her hand.
“Hey, Lor, where do you want these?”
“Um, wherever there’s an empty spot on that table works.” I pointed in the direction, fluffing the chair one last time.
Jude followed a moment later, with pitchers of lemonade and water in his hands, and sat them down next to Imogen's tray. Walking over, I hugged them both, always feeling better when I could.
“You sure you guys want to join? It won’t be weird with me being the leader?”
Since it was an informal group, offering a safe place for them to talk, I wasn’t as concerned with the boundaries. I was merely going to be the leader, directing them to help one another. If what I hoped occurred, it would be a good chance for them to find their own strength and recognize it amongst their peers.
“Yeah, we’re excited,” Jude said, peeking over at Immy. She’d been a little withdrawn, and I hoped Cameron’s death and return of her father hadn’t set her back any.
“I think it’s great you’re doing this and would love to be a part of it,” she finally said, offering me a smile.
“Okay, well, I won’t tell anyone about our relationship, so that’s up to you guys to disclose if you want to. Which also means I’ll talk to you both as I would everyone else, no special treatment.”
“Ah, bummer, and here I thought having a therapist as a pseudo mom would finally be my in,” Immy teased.
Laughing, I pulled her close and kissed her head; her words meant more to me than she probably knew.
“Love you too, Immy.” Drawing back, I straightened my clothes before I got too emotional and lost it before the group even started.
“I’m going to put some music on. You have a few minutes before others should hopefully arrive, so now’s your chance to pick your seats.” I smiled, some butterflies entering my stomach at the reality of starting a new venture. I prayed it would be what I wanted it to be for these kids.
Selecting some soft music, I fiddled with straightening things when I heard voices, too nervous to turn to see if people were actually arriving. Hands settled on my waist, making me jump when I realized I hadn’t heard anyone walk up. The warmth and weight were familiar, so I looked up, peering behind me at their chuckle.
“Beautiful, you okay? You seem a little jumpy.”
“I’m good, just nervous that no one will show up or that I’ll suck at it if they do.”
“You’ll be great, Beautiful, just as you are at everything you put your heart into.” Nicco spun me around, kissing me briefly. “I kind of want to be bad and have my way with you, but I know it’s not the time or the place. But have no fear. I’ll be scouting out the perfect hot-for-teacher location.”
Giggling, I slapped his chest, knowing that while he was 100% serious, he was also helping to ease my nerves in his Nicco way.
Pecking his lips, I hugged him close, stealing his warmth and love. Taking a deep breath, I exhaled it slowly, letting it flow through my body and purging all the negative energy. Pulling away, I pushed my shoulders back and nodded. Squeezing his hand, I left him and walked into the room. I was excited to see five teens sitting around the circle, snacking on cookies and drinks. Okay, so at least some kids had shown up. This would work.
“Hey guys, I’m Loren, and I’ll be your mentor for the teen group. Just a few rules to go over. This is a safe place to talk about the things going on in your lives and find comfort from one another, building bonds. This is not a therapy group but a place you can share your own troubles and find support from someone else who’s been there. That being said, I am a mandated reporter for the state of Illinois, so if you do say something in this group that deems reporting, I will have to share it with the proper authorities. I won’t do this behind your back. I would let you know and sit there with you if you wanted when they came to talk with you. Any questions so far?”
They shook their heads no, so I smiled, taking another breath. “Okay, the next rule is that since this is a safe place, it means that what you share here, unless reportable, stays here. You can talk about anything you feel comfortable sharing and have the confidence that it won’t be spread around. If I find someone sharing things they were privy to in this group, not only would you be kicked out of the group, but you’d be placed on a suspended membership to the youth center. There are consequences for using someone else’s pain to your advantage, and I won’t allow that. It’s hard enough to speak about these things without the fear that someone you don’t trust will find out. Does everyone understand?”
They nodded yes, but I needed their verbal acknowledgment on this one. “I’m going to need to hear you say it, guys.” I smiled, hoping to soften my tone a little.
“Yes, Loren,” they said, Jude and Immy the loudest. I smiled at them in thanks.
“Other than that, I want you guys to have fun and respect one another in here. Any questions?”
No one said anything, so I smiled wide and realized I was overcompensating for them, so I dimmed it, reminding myself to breathe again. “Right, well, does anyone want to start? Anything anyone wants to share?”
Silence met me, and I regretted my decision to do this for a brief second. Why did I think I could? I was insane and apparently liked torturing myself.
Slapping the negative thought out of my head, I remembered that teenagers hated being first in these types of situations and a little nudge went a long way. I needed to make it more focused, so it wasn’t so scary.