LOREN
Life fell into a normal balance after the secrets party. It was now the end of May, and school was ending. I debated how much time I wanted to take off for the summer. I wanted to be able to do things with the kids and maybe even go on a vacation. We all seemed to adjust easily as we began to pick up the pieces of our lives that Dayton had tried to demolish.
“What are you thinking?” a voice asked, bringing me out of my musings.
I looked up from the computer; the last note I’d been writing was waiting for me to hit submit on the screen. Holding up a finger, I finalized everything and turned it off, gathering my stuff. It was much easier now when all I had to grab was my phone, and half the time I forgot that.
Smiling, I walked over to Sax, who’d come to escort me to dinner. They’d learned quickly that if someone didn’t come to get me, I had a tendency to keep working or lose time staring off into space like I’d just been doing. Apparently, when your mind was always focused on thinking for others, it found any second it could to think.
When I didn’t answer him, honestly having forgotten what he’d asked, he stopped us, pushing me back against the wall. Towering over me, he peered down at me in concern. His thumb trailed across my cheek, and he searched my eyes.
Despite it being a month later, they were all still concerned I wasn’t handling the takedown well. Granted, I’d been shot, but it hadn’t been real. Not really.
“I’m okay. Sorry, what did you ask me? I was lost in my thoughts of frolicking somewhere on a warm beach that isn’t Chicago.”
Sax relaxed at my words, a smile gracing his lips. “That sounds nice. Tell me more, Spitfire.”
“Well, I was wondering how much time I wanted to take off for the summer and if we could go on a trip, along with all the other things I’d like to do with the kids. Levi is at that fun age where he wants to explore things, and Jude and Immy have their own interests that I’d like to know more about. It’s just nice having people to plan things with,” I admitted, my cheeks tinting a little.
“The sight of you in a swimsuit sounds good to me. Even better, not in one.” Laughing, I slapped his chest playfully before giving him a kiss. Stepping back, I grabbed his hand, pulling him along with me. Now that I knew it was dinnertime, my stomach had gotten the memo and was hungry, wanting food.
“You can see me naked after you feed me,” I said, tugging him along. Sax grunted a little but let me pull him.
We walked into the new family room that Atticus had designed. It wasn’t as formal and stuffy as the other one, thankfully. The table was a large circle with another circle in the middle that we could put food on and spin. It made it easy with nine people to serve on a regular basis. The kids, along with Wells and Monroe, were already gathered around the table, scooping food onto their plates.
I never thought I’d be one of those people who’d have a personal chef, but now that we did, I didn’t know if I could ever live without Mrs. Carlson. She definitely made life easier, cooking for all of us. In fact, I was pretty sure I’d gained a few pounds from her delicious meals as well.
Sitting down, I kissed Levi on the head as I pulled him into a hug. “Hey, kiddo, how was the last day of school?”
He beamed up at me as he excitedly began to tell me all about their field day and the prizes he’d won. I was surprised how well he’d taken his mother’s death. I think it helped that he had the older kids to lean on as well. They’d lost parents, too, so they were a good source of comfort for the boy.
“Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun,” I said, smiling at him.
“It was the best.” His face turned sad, and I wondered if this was the moment it hit him that his mother was gone.
“What’s wrong, bud?” I asked, playing with this hair.
He shrugged his tiny shoulders, looking up. “I just wish you were my mommy.”
I stopped, stunned for a moment, scrunching up my face. “I’m confused. Why do you think I can’t be? I know I’ll never replace your mom, but I could be a bonus mom for you if that’s alright?”
“Really?” he asked, his eyes lighting up for a second before his face dropped. “That’s okay. I know that Jude needs you to be his mommy. I just wanted you to know I wish you could be mine, too.”
Pulling him close, I snuggled down to understand where the confusion was coming from. “Levi, is there a reason you think I can’t be yours too, bud?”
“Landon at school said you’d have to choose. He also said that I couldn’t have five daddies, even though Jude told me I did now. Since I still have a daddy, I didn’t want to be selfish and keep you. Jude needs you,” he whispered, keeping his eyes low.
“Ah, buddy, whoever this Landon kid is, well, he’s wrong. Did you know that our hearts are capable of loving lots of people? It’s not a limited thing. I can love you and Jude the same amount. It doesn’t ever run out. So, I can be your bonus mommy and Jude’s, and you can have five daddies if you want. Our family is about acceptance and love. Okay, kiddo?”
“Really?” he asked, his little shoulders dropping in relief.
“Really. Which means you and Jude are brothers.”
His eyes lit up, and I realized how poorly we’d handled this talk with everything going on. Levi threw his arms around me, hugging me tightly. He kissed my cheek. “Love you, Lommy.”
“Lommy?” I asked, wondering if he had developed a sudden speech impediment.
“Yep. It’s Lo and mommy—Lommy.” My heart was about to burst, so I snuggled him close. When I let go, he jumped off my lap and ran around the table to Jude.