But there was no time to lament on my regrets. I had to focus on moving forward, and that started with deciding how to kill Brittni.
* * *
“For some reason,I expected discussions of murder to be more… murdery,” Loren commented, looking around the table.
Nicco laughed, setting down a plate of cupcakes in front of her. “Who says you can’t talk about death while enjoying some cupcakes? I did make sure to get red. I wanted to color-code our theme.”
“I worry about you,” I joked, laughing as I grabbed one.
“About time someone did,” he quipped, smiling.
“I mean, I’m all for a theme, and cupcakes are always a plus, but like, don’t we need a murder board, or I don’t know blueprints?”
“Bellezza, we’re talking about killing a high-class socialite, not a mastermind killer,” Atticus said, raising his eyebrows at her. The talk of murder and mayhem had his eyes heating a little. He might talk about manslaughter being their last go-to, but it still seemed to get his blood pumping. I couldn’t say the same for myself. I knew it needed to happen, and I felt relief over the decision, but I gained no pleasure in thinking of killing Levi’s mom.
Loren squeezed my hand, and I flicked my eyes to her. She had a caring smile on her face, offering me a look that she understood. “For what it’s worth,” she swallowed, “I think you’re making the harder decision. I don’t know what’s right or wrong, but I know you didn’t come to this lightly, and I would never judge you for it. I support you.”
“But you wouldn’t do the same?”
She shrugged, a slight smile on her lips. “I have no idea what I’d do. I don’t have your life experience or your history with her. I trust you to know what’s at stake and the cost. I see all of that, and that’s why I can support this; because I know you weighed out everything. I don’t think it’s for me to say it’s right or wrong. Only you can make the choice. I won’t deny there’s a part of me that’s happy she’ll be gone, especially after what she did to Wells, but I don’t know if that’s only fleeting. No matter what, though, I’ll be here, right beside you the whole way through.”
I leaned my head against hers, something in me relaxing at her words. I didn’t know how much I needed to hear them. I didn’t want her to judge me or think less of me.
“Thank you, Lo. I needed to hear that.”
“I know it’s not the same, but I’ll try to be the best mother I can be to Levi; I just want you to know that. You don’t have to raise him on your own.”
“You don’t have to try, Lo. You already are. Fuck, I love you.” I grabbed her face, smashing my lips to hers, kissing her with everything I had. She made all the rough edges smooth; all my past hurt felt worth it if I got to have her in my life.
A loud whistle broke us apart, and I pulled away, both of us panting. I turned my head, seeing Nicco fanning himself. “Okay, that was hot. You were all, grr, and she was all lovey, and then bam! If we didn’t need to finalize some homicide, I’d sweep everything off this table and see where that went. But alas…” he sighed, placing his head in his hand like a lovesick fool.
“I think you’ve had too much sugar,” Atticus barked, looking at Nicco like he’d lost his mind.
“Nah,” he waved him off, smiling, “I was just reminded of what’s important and that it's okay to be myself. So, here I am, bro, take me as I am.”
Atticus shook his head, a smile playing at the corner of his lips, and I saw the affection shining through. Sax sat back, shoving a whole cupcake into his mouth, licking the frosting that spilled out of his lips and into his beard. He missed a spot, and Loren giggled. The big man stopped, looking up to meet her eyes.
“Yes, Spitfire?”
“You got a little…” She motioned to where, and he stuck his tongue out further, slowly licking away the frosting with the tip, and even I had to drop my eyes, shifting in my seat. That, after our intense kiss, had my cock throbbing hard against my zipper. Fucking Hell.
A throat cleared, and we all glanced over to Atticus, who gave us all a look like he was the Sunday School teacher and we’d all disappointed him. “Despite my brother’s frivolity, he’s not wrong. Murder for the Mascros isn’t gory. We discuss most of our murders over food and cocktails. Why does one need to debase themselves just because they’re killing someone? You don’t.”
“I swear, you sound so stuck up right now,” Nicco said, laughing. “If you were a woman, I’d expect you to be inspecting the dirt under your fingernails.”
Atticus gave him a look, but I noticed he dropped his shoulders some, relaxing. “Fine. But it doesn’t have to be a wham, bam, you’re dead.”
“Hmph,” Sax grunted, showing he much preferred it that way. Though, his following words surprised me, making me reconsider. “I think she deserves a death where she’s humiliated and discovered in the worst possible way. She doesn’t deserve decency.”
I sat there stunned for a moment as he licked his fingers free of icing, nonplussed by his words as I watched him. Clearing my throat, I nodded.
“Um, yeah, that could work. What did you have in mind?”
Over the next thirty minutes, Atticus, Nicco, and Sax volleyed ideas, giving me the final say. I didn’t disagree with much, as it seemed they had it under control and knew what they were doing. I’d lived some dark days, often having to fight for my life, but I’d never taken one before. This was out of my depth, and as willing as I was to end hers, I hadn’t thought much past doing it, much less if it would’ve been messy.
“Very well, then. I think that’s taken care of. It’s been an eventful few days, so how about we all do something with the kids and leave the murdering of mothers for tomorrow.”
“First, who are you? And second, mothers?” I asked.