“Um, you sure about that?” He chuckled, ducking my hand this time, and I shook my head at him.
“My question is, why am I not automatically your favorite? What do the others have? I need to take notes, apparently.” We started to walk out of the park toward the condos as we talked.
“Hmm, well, let’s see. At first, Wells was last, but he has the dogs now, which bumped him up. Sax, he’s automatically up because he’s scary as fuck. Oh shit,” he cringed, looking over at me. I didn’t understand what he was worried about until I realized he’d cussed. A laugh escaped me, and I shook my head, pushing him.
“Kid, you can cuss all you want. I’m not your dad, no matter how much you call me daddy,” I paused, a sick feeling coming over me. “Oh gross, that sounds weird. Let’s just scrub that last minute from our heads and move past that whole thing.”
Jude cringed, nodding. “So, Sax, he’s scary, so he’ll be up there just because, but I’m also hoping someday he’ll show me how to ride a motorcycle. Monroe, he’s probably my favorite because I’ve been around him the most, and he’s teaching me hockey, which I really love.”
“What about Mas, or Atticus, I mean?”
“Oh, well, if he was to ask, he’s at the top because that feels like it would be important to him, and also he’s Immy’s brother and scarier in a different way. But in reality, he’s my least favorite of you all. He’s too stuck up his own ass and doesn’t listen to Immy or what she wants. I know she’s been through some things, but she’s stronger than I think any of you let her be.”
“Hmm, you might be right about that. So, where does that leave me?”
“Well, I guess you’re, like, tied with Wells for 3rd place. So, what are you going to do to win me over?” He wiggled his eyebrows, and I guffawed at his candor.
“You’re funny, kid. And you know, I could teach you how to ride a motorcycle too. But Loren might kill me, so maybe I will leave that to Sax. Let him get in her bad graces for once. I swear, that man can’t seem to do anything wrong where she’s concerned. If Beautiful didn’t have such a big heart, I’d worry he’d push me aside.”
Jude looked over, some of his teasing attitude diminishing. “You know, it’s kind of refreshing to see that someone like you doubts himself a bit when you have all the things you do going for yourself. I don’t know; it makes me feel not as weird, I guess.” He shrugged, and I sympathized with him. Jude had grown in the few months he'd been with Loren, but it didn't mean all of his insecurities went away.
“Ha! Yeah, I think it’s something guys don’t talk about. Maybe the super asshole ones, the real douche canoes; perhaps they never doubt themselves. But other than those few select ones, I think it’s something we as humans struggle with. It’s one of those traps you can fall into if you’re not careful, the whole rat race of life. Someone will always be better than you, do more than you, look nicer than you. If you focus on being the best, then I guess that’s your choice on how you want to spend your life. I can say from my experience, finding people and something that gives you a purpose is far more fulfilling than being on top. It doesn’t mean I don’t strive to do my best, because I do. I take pride in my art and the work I put out, but I quit stressing over who was doing what and whether or not they were better than me years ago.”
We got to the front of the park, and I stopped, turning to Jude. He was deep in thought, and I realized how philosophical I’d just gotten. “You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, though, Jude. You’ve lived a life most kids your age haven’t, and you seem to understand what’s important. I think that’s what Immy likes in you. You’re not pretending to be someone you’re not, and you know that life isn’t a piece of cake. But you keep moving forward each day, sharing your light with those you deem worthy. I never realized how alike in that aspect you are to Loren, but I see it now.”
“Really?” he asked, a small smile lifting on his face.
“Yeah, kid. I think you’re both the type of people that are rare—true good souls. Life beat you up a little, made you lose some of your glimmer, hiding away your light. But together, you’re both able to rub off the dust and shine. You’re stronger together.”
“Okay, you might be moving into second.” He blushed, sincerity ringing through.
Rolling my eyes, I shoved his shoulder again in play. Just as we crossed the street to the side the doors were on, a motorcycle rode up, the sound familiar to my ears. I stopped, turning to see why Sax was here. Jude noticed and stopped himself. When I saw Beautiful on the back of the bike, I grinned wide, walking over. When I approached, I helped her off the bike as Sax eyed Jude and me curiously.
“Beautiful! What a pleasant surprise.” I kissed her once she had the helmet off, hearing Jude gag in the back. Loren chuckled, pulling away before I could deepen it.
“Back in third.” I heard him cough into his hand, and I narrowed my eyes at him before shrugging.
“Worth it.”
Loren looked between us both, a curious look on her face as well.
“What are you two doing together?”
“Ah, well, it seems when in need, I’m the one Jude reached out to,” I said smugly, making sure Sax heard. He chuckled, shaking his head and not caring. Looking back at Loren, I kissed her again before letting go of her. “He’ll explain, but I gotta head out to finish getting things together for tonight’s exhibition fight. You’re coming, right?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there. Wells asked me to be his support person, whatever that means.” She shrugged one of her shoulders, but I caught the blush as she began to bite her lip.
“Ah, look at Crash asking for something for once. That’s a big deal, Loren. He doesn’t usually have anyone there to cheer him on, much less be in his corner.” The information slipped free quickly, not even attempting to hold it back in an effort to keep me as her main concern. Something about the broody asshole made me want to make sure he did well, and that he believed he was capable of winning outside of just being good for the family.
“Wow, okay, so should I make sure to give him a good pep talk or something?”
“I think you being there is the only pep talk he’ll need.”
“I was wondering if I could come, Lo? I’d like to support Wells too.”
“Of course, Jude. I think he’d like that. I’m sure Monroe is going. Is there, like, a sitting area or something?” she asked, turning to Sax and me.
“Yeah, we’ll take care of it. Do you need a ride there?”