“I just, I’m worried I screwed up.”
“You like him, don’t you?”
I looked up, searching his green eyes, the paleness constantly reminding me of mint green. “I don’t know what it is, and that’s what confuses me. I love you, and I know I’m headed there with Loren. I don’t feel anything like that with the kid, but he intrigues me. There’s this weird tension at times, like he sees something in me, a hidden compartment. But, I just, I don’t want to mess this up, and I worry if in my need to win, I went too far.”
Monroe moved closer, taking my face between his hands. “I can’t say I’m an expert on this type of relationship we’ve found ourselves in. I know that I love you and Loren. But I also know love can grow, and it’s not limited. I would never hold you back. I just want to be there too. Does it seem like Nicco’s into you?”
Blowing out a breath, I licked my lips. “I don’t know. There have been some moments where things felt tense, and I don’t know if that’s just natural tension or if something more is there. He’s not shy or scared about sharing, and his openness confuses me, so I don’t really know if it’s just that or more. I uh, kind of touched his dick when it was in Loren, but it was more of an in the moment type of thing, rather than a conscious thought. Fuck, I’m already messing this up. I’m jumping to conclusions and assuming things. I’m getting ahead of myself.”
“Babe, stop, don’t start down this spiral of self-hatred. It’s better to talk about it. That way, if the moment happens, we both know where we stand.”
“So, where do we stand?”
“Honestly, the thought of you kissing him… I don’t know. Maybe it would be hot, or maybe I would want to punch him, but I’d also be lying if I didn’t say Loren hasn’t collected herself some yummy men. I’ve just never thought outside of you and a woman because even that felt too far-fetched. Now, I have the pairing I’ve always wanted; it feels risky to want more or even consider it. But I see how happy Loren is and how nice it felt on Friday to be included in this little makeshift unit, and I can’t deny how much I like being part of it. It’s scary, but doesn’t that mean it’s worth it too? I don’t think the other two are into guys, but I hope to get to know them better. I want to, at least. But I know for certain, without a shadow of a doubt, that you, Loren, Jude, and Levi, that’s my family. If I can add four more people too, I’d be happy to have that. It’s kind of the foster kid dream, isn’t it?”
“You make it sound so much better and easy. I get all up in my head and start to beat myself up. You’re truly a good person, Roe. You make my life better just by being in it.”
“Oh, Wellsy,” he smiled, “you have no idea the magnetism you have or the strength you encourage in others. Let’s just agree that we’re both lucky, and then we can show each other later how grateful we are, preferably with Loren, if we get the chance.”
“You have the best ideas.” I smiled, kissing his lips and feeling better. I hadn’t realized how much guilt and shame I’d been carrying around. I still didn’t know how I felt about Nicco. Most of the time, he annoyed me, and then other times, I thought he understood something about me, but I didn’t know what that translated to in a relationship. I’d never done one outside of the sneaking around with Roe we’d done as teens. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was out of my league when it came to matters of the heart. I was glad I had him and Loren to show me the way, at least.
“Come on, let's go see our hot girlfriend and take down some evil villains.” He grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the room.
“I like when you get commanding,” I said, checking out his ass as he charged forward.
“Oh, yeah?” Monroe blushed, ducking his head a little as we stepped into the hallway. The house was full of people now, from staff and waiters working the event to the family members who were now in attendance. They eyed us with caution as we passed, not sure what our presence here meant. Atticus warned us that they might be cold toward us as outsiders, but we were protected. I saw one of the guards I’d come to like, nodding when he met my eyes. At least with Topher around, I knew no one would start anything.
We stepped into the backyard, and I caught sight of the maze off in the distance to the left, a slight smile tilting the corner of my mouth at the memory. The area we were in had been decked out with tents of food, tables, and lights all around. Flowers were spread out, speakers set up, and men and women mingled in their finest.
“You remember the plan?” Monroe whispered.
Scoffing, I nodded. “Don’t let Loren out of our sight. Watch the scumbag and monster mom, and under no circumstances do we engage with dildo.”
Monroe sputtered, a loud laugh escaping him and causing some guests to look over and eye us. “Shit, Wellsy, warn a man when you’re gonna go and get all funny.”
Laughing, I laced my fingers with his, not caring if these stuck-up people watched, and walked over to the burly giant standing stoically off to the side. Sax eyed us as we joined him, but didn’t say anything. He’d been unusually quieter these past two days, and I felt something brewing within him, my own experience with self-loathing and fear recognizable in his eyes.
“You need to talk to her before it explodes on you, or worse, her. I won’t pretend to know anything about you, but I know the look in your eyes. I have it at times, too. Don’t let it destroy everything.”
He looked over at me, his jaw tensed as his nostrils flared a little as he bit back his words. Eventually, he swallowed whatever retort he had and nodded, returning to his scanning of the crowd. We stood there with him, waiting, not wanting to interact with the others since we didn’t really know them or who was friend or foe. When Nicco stepped out of the doors a moment later, I ignored the way my pulse picked up, attributing it to the Goddess who stepped through a moment later with the boss man himself.
“Fuck,” Monroe whispered in awe, swallowing audibly next to me. Sax only grunted, but we were all in agreement. Loren was fucking stunning. She had on a tight white dress with a black top that was see-through to an extent. It cupped her breasts, providing a show of cleavage, and all I could think about was dripping champagne there and licking it up.
Every eye was on her as Atticus led her through the crowd, stopping for no one, only giving them a polite head nod if he saw fit. They made their way to us, and I didn’t miss the way Nicco smirked at me as he went to stand next to Sax. Loren smiled when she neared, but as Atticus told her, she didn’t let go of his arm, staying by his side. While it seemed Atticus had accepted us all in her life, he didn’t want to announce it to the family yet when we were dealing with our enemies. Instead, he cautioned us all to keep our hands to ourselves until they were dealt with.
It was harder than I thought not to reach out to her. But at least I had Monroe, grounding me to him as his fingers squeezed mine.
Atticus waited for everyone to settle down before he started to speak, his arrival the official start to the party.
“Welcome, family. It’s so good to see you all here tonight and celebrate the Mascros and the new adventures we’re taking. Before I get started, though, I’d like to raise a toast to us.” A staff member handed us all champagne flutes as she walked by, and Atticus waited until most of the crowd had them. He raised his glass, indicating for everyone to follow.
“To the Mascro family, may we continue to grow, sharpen our skills, and above all, rise to the top. We are family foremost, bonded by blood second, and one house above all. We are Mascros…”
As he finished it off, everyone joined in, and we all took a sip in celebration.
A slow clap started as everyone lowered their glass, and the crowd parted for him as he moved forward, carrying on his clapping like he was a fucking cheerleader, here to celebrate.
“Well done, little Mascro. You know, I almost believed that speech myself. But then again, I know all your secrets, so it’s hard to bullshit me.” Darren Delgado, the man who’d left me for dead in an alley, the man who’d set me up to take the fall for his failed scheme, the man who’d apparently been stalking Kitten, and had a fighter stab me weeks ago stood in the middle of the crowd with a Cheshire grin on his face.
The glass in my hand began to creak as I gripped it hard, the urge to walk forward and punch his fucking lights out overcoming me. It was Sax, though, who put his hand on my shoulder, giving me an imperceptible nod to cool it. Monroe squeezed my hand, and I breathed, remembering what was at stake here.
Looking at Loren and how strong she stood, I sucked in a breath, hearing her voice in my head to calm.
“Not yet, Surly.”
Darren Delgado would get his due. I just had to be patient. And for once, I had the right people beside me to do it. I guess Monroe was on to something, we had become our own little unit, and I had to trust in that.
The three assholes had no idea who they were messing with.